How many people want to give up?

[dair2dv8103100]

Wow...after reading this entire thread...I think I need another coffee.

I wish I could pack up and take my daughter to him...but I know that the living conditions, education, medical care etc. there are far worse there than here and I know my daughter would hate me forever for taking her away from her dad. :'( I have to admit that sometimes I wonder why I am taking on this task??

Is love strong enough?? Can it can endure this torture?? This is the biggest test of my faith I have endured and we are not even married yet!!! I have already been away from him for over a year due to circumstances beyond my control...could I endure more years?? I don't know if I am strong enough for that. All I know for sure is I love this man with everything in me and if I was with him there is nothing that would ever separate me from him.

Maybe it is better to just avoid threads like this in order to keep my sanity ....yet I want to know the truth as well and what to possibly expect. I wonder how many people are silent sufferers in this..... I have never been one to be able just suffer in silence...I need to let those little squash ball thoughts out of the court in my head... lol...

 

[joecreosta]

Wow...after reading this entire thread...I think I need another coffee.

I wish I could pack up and take my daughter to him...but I know that the living conditions, education, medical care etc. there are far worse there than here and I know my daughter would hate me forever for taking her away from her dad. :'( I have to admit that sometimes I wonder why I am taking on this task??

Is love strong enough?? Can it can endure this torture?? This is the biggest test of my faith I have endured and we are not even married yet!!! I have already been away from him for over a year due to circumstances beyond my control...could I endure more years?? I don't know if I am strong enough for that. All I know for sure is I love this man with everything in me and if I was with him there is nothing that would ever separate me from him.

Maybe it is better to just avoid threads like this in order to keep my sanity ....yet I want to know the truth as well and what to possibly expect. I wonder how many people are silent sufferers in this..... I have never been one to be able just suffer in silence...I need to let those little squash ball thoughts out of the court in my head... lol...

ur concerns are valid. but do not giveup. u will be fine incha allah.but taking ur daughter can be issue. like u said.the weather food culture education health is different there.so u dont want to burden her because of ur own ambitions.

 

[dair2dv8103100]

ur concerns are valid. but do not giveup. u will be fine incha allah.but taking ur daughter can be issue. like u said.the weather food culture education health is different there.so u dont want to burden her because of ur own ambitions.

Yes, and she has a relationship with her father here...She is obviously my priority in any decision I am making... at the same time I must also live my life. One day she will be grown and leave and start her own family and when this happens I want to do it with Elyass and not alone. So I make some sacrifices now to enjoy a good life and also for the benefit of my daughter who deserves to learn what a healthy loving relationship between two adults looks like....unfortunately we cannot obviously fully do that until he is here!! So not only am I looking at this for my own benefit...but for hers as well.

Nothing good comes easy...I just said these words to my daughter before school started this year...haha

 

[joecreosta]

Yes, and she has a relationship with her father here...She is obviously my priority in any decision I am making... at the same time I must also live my life. One day she will be grown and leave and start her own family and when this happens I want to do it with Elyass and not alone. So I make some sacrifices now to enjoy a good life and also for the benefit of my daughter who deserves to learn what a healthy loving relationship between two adults looks like....unfortunately we cannot obviously fully do that until he is here!! So not only am I looking at this for my own benefit...but for hers as well.

Nothing good comes easy...I just said these words to my daughter before school started this year...haha

ur a very good mother.trust me.u doing everything for ur daugther. not so many moms do thinks like u.so ur very good.
how old is ur little one?did she just start school now?so she's like 4 years old?
it will be a challenge for ur new to be husband also to beleive the fact u already have a daughter and for him to accept and consider her as his daugther too.
but it will be fine i guess once he is here and he can treat ur daughter as his own daugther.

does he already have kids too?
did u visit him already? how was the family?do they know u already havea daugther forom previous husband? did they accept it? these things are ery importatn in our moslims cultures so nothing is surprise to anyone.

i think u should go alone if u wanna really marry him. live there with thim for some time. i say live for atleest 6 months or so.dont just go there for 2 or 3 weeks. u need to ACTUALLY LIVE with him to understand him and his family..then u can determine if he really will and can accept ur daughter as his own daugther or not.trust me u know it to ur also married before so u know what a married life is like..but at end it is ur decision and ur life.u have to live it and enjoy it.but u should be fine incha allah.
get to knwo the moslim culture and go to mosque there with him.if ulike...u can also accet the religion and convert there thatwould be fun..but do not be worried everything be ok.

 

[alpesantezo]

Wow...after reading this entire thread...I think I need another coffee.


Is love strong enough?? Can it can endure this torture?? This is the biggest test of my faith I have endured and we are not even married yet!!! I have already been away from him for over a year due to circumstances beyond my control...could I endure more years?? I don't know if I am strong enough for that. All I know for sure is I love this man with everything in me and if I was with him there is nothing that would ever separate me from him.

You are right... is a difficult thing to do but all of us stay on this only because we love our partners..in my case is not because of me and health or education or children is about him his career and his life... thats why im still on this...

and about this thread... somedays are more difficult than others.. and i guess this was an explosion of feellings that needed to come out.. specially when you miss things in the othe person life that you believe is important to the relationship you are creating..

 

[wmaitner]

I don't have any sanity left. I am honestly beginning to think that this whole process is just there to ruin lives. We are moving for a better life. Looks like they are just beating us down so we will cower to anything they say. ARGH! The frustration of the wait and that there is no one and no where to call to get any answers. This is draining the last drops of humanity from my very soul. I begin to understand how people can get so tweaked by the process that they want to go to a government office with semiautomatic weapons. They REALLY know how to push people to the limit and then give them one more little nudge. ???

• $1,000 for the PR process
• $1,000 for moving expenses
• $1,000 for storage of personal effects
• $1,000 to import the car
• Sanity - priceless but gone

 

[dair2dv8103100]

and about this thread... somedays are more difficult than others.. and i guess this was an explosion of feellings that needed to come out.. specially when you miss things in the othe person life that you believe is important to the relationship you are creating..

Yes, of course. I had my own explosion yesterday after a particularly stressful day at work and feeling so much anxiety about this new chapter in our lives. That is one of the wonderful things about my fiance...he wants me to share my feelings and all that is happening. To make sure we keep communicating to help us cope.

I could not imagine missing my daughters birthday and I am heart broken for wmaitner...I truly hope that this is process is finished quickly and he is able to be reunited with his family!!

 

[djboinsk]

No I could never give up. Yes we are just beginning(file in Buffalo now) but i've waited my whole life to find my husband and I won;t ever give up the fight.

 

[easylover]

Giving up? or Rethinking? There are many live-in caregivers , temporary foreign exchange workers who leave their young children at their homeland and come to Canada and many other countries in the world to take care of other people's children, we all make sacrifices and choices, the way I see it any thing worth the prize is worth the fight, nothing is truly easy and immigrating into Canada has certainly gotten harder over the years. Giving up on plan A or sticking it out are all valid strategies. Canada is a great place to live in but the whole world isn't applying to live even if they could.

 

[giggles1985]

There are many days where I find it very hard to be patient and even harder to feel happy. But I would never give up. I want to be with my husband so much and to be finally able to start our lives. I hope it doesn't take years as some people's process has - especially those with appeals. But if we have to appeal, we will appeal. I will do whatever it takes, as hard as it may be

 

[joecreosta]

Yes, of course. I had my own explosion yesterday after a particularly stressful day at work and feeling so much anxiety about this new chapter in our lives. That is one of the wonderful things about my fiance...he wants me to share my feelings and all that is happening. To make sure we keep communicating to help us cope.

I could not imagine missing my daughters birthday and I am heart broken for wmaitner...I truly hope that this is process is finished quickly and he is able to be reunited with his family!!

ur proecess did not start yet. pls stop negative thinkings.u will be fine ok

 

[dair2dv8103100]

ur proecess did not start yet. pls stop negative thinkings.u will be fine ok

LOL...please don't take it as negative thinking ;D ...believe me...just as everyone else...I have good days and bad days...I know I will be with him no matter what it takes but like others have said...it is very difficult because immigration has had to become so stringent in their policies because of the "bad" apples that true relationships struggle to the last threads...in the end true love will prevail...it always does!! No CIC or VO or immigration politic can over come the ties that bind 2 people in love.

 

[joecreosta]

LOL...please don't take it as negative thinking ;D ...believe me...just as everyone else...I have good days and bad days...I know I will be with him no matter what it takes but like others have said...it is very difficult because immigration has had to become so stringent in their policies because of the "bad" apples that true relationships struggle to the last threads...in the end true love will prevail...it always does!! No CIC or VO or immigration politic can over come the ties that bind 2 people in love.

i like ur sayings.good job
will u move for good to morocco if VO CIC becomes problem?

 

[dair2dv8103100]

i like ur sayings.good job
will u move for good to morocco if VO CIC becomes problem?

I could not bring myself to leave my daughter at her age. I would buy a very expensive comfortable computer chair and wait till she is old enough to tell her father that she wants to go and he cannot stop her...then we would be outta here in a heart beat !!! 8)

 

[locolynn]

i like ur sayings.good job
will u move for good to morocco if VO CIC becomes problem?

don't worry about that now. you have 3 months before you even apply. I know things can seem bleak...but tons of people get their visas with no problems...they just don't post that often about it - I guess they are too busy getting on with their lives

Lynn