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Essay practice please give feedback

Meow25

Full Member
Jun 4, 2015
34
1
Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behavior. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences.

Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Travelling is the best form of entertainment enabling you to enjoy and learn at the same time. There are people who think that travelers should adapt the culture of the country they are visiting while others believe that host should be more welcoming of the tourists. Let us discuss why both parties should show respect for one another.

Travelling has been made easy in the modern era, with lower fares and easy travel routes many people take on the voyage without giving it much thought. A person’s behavior should be part of their travel plan and it would be best to study the culture of the nation they are about to visit. For example if a westerner plans to travel Middle Eastern nations they should dress appropriately. Although, their intended destination may be developed but the overall laws may be conservative and violating them may get a tourist in trouble. Public display of affection or scanty clothing might even turn your pleasure trip into a jail trip.

On the other hand, if a person chooses to travel to western nations they can dress up in any fashion they like because of the diversity that is the part of their culture. However, due to recent animosity toward some nations, conservative religious dressing may arouse some hostile behavior. It is, thus safe to say, that when in Rome dress as Romans do. It is also believed that more civilize the nations are they better they treat their visitors as they realize that tourism is the source of economic betterment. Also this openness and acceptance provide both parties a chance to learn about different cultures and customs.

It can be concluded that both the tourists and the nation they are visiting should exhibit mutual respect for each other creating a friendly environment that benefits both. Open mindedness and little hospitality can do wonders for everyone who needs to learn new things. [D1]


[D1]I didn’t know how to end it, lost for ideas. I don’t think one sentence is enough for conclusion
 

ashki008

Star Member
Jul 11, 2018
52
25
Qatar
Category........
FSW
NOC Code......
2234
Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behavior. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences.

Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Travelling is the best form of entertainment enabling you to enjoy and learn at the same time. There are people who think that travelers should adapt the culture of the country they are visiting while others believe that host should be more welcoming of the tourists. Let us discuss why both parties should show respect for one another.

Travelling has been made easy in the modern era, with lower fares and easy travel routes many people take on the voyage without giving it much thought. A person’s behavior should be part of their travel plan and it would be best to study the culture of the nation they are about to visit. For example if a westerner plans to travel Middle Eastern nations they should dress appropriately. Although, their intended destination may be developed but the overall laws may be conservative and violating them may get a tourist in trouble. Public display of affection or scanty clothing might even turn your pleasure trip into a jail trip.

On the other hand, if a person chooses to travel to western nations they can dress up in any fashion they like because of the diversity that is the part of their culture. However, due to recent animosity toward some nations, conservative religious dressing may arouse some hostile behavior. It is, thus safe to say, that when in Rome dress as Romans do. It is also believed that more civilize the nations are they better they treat their visitors as they realize that tourism is the source of economic betterment. Also this openness and acceptance provide both parties a chance to learn about different cultures and customs.

It can be concluded that both the tourists and the nation they are visiting should exhibit mutual respect for each other creating a friendly environment that benefits both. Open mindedness and little hospitality can do wonders for everyone who needs to learn new things. [D1]


[D1]I didn’t know how to end it, lost for ideas. I don’t think one sentence is enough for conclusion
Travelling is the best form of entertainment enabling you to enjoy and learn at the same time. There are people who think that travelers should adapt [+to] the culture of the country they are visiting [,] while others believe that host should be more welcoming of the tourists. Let us discuss why both parties should show respect for one another (Need to be more formal - academic style - avoid phrases like "Let us"). - Other than that - your intro is good and simple -
Waring : you have not indicated your opinion here and the thesis statement only says "discuss both sides"


[Linker is preferred] Travelling has been made easy in the modern era, with lower fares and easy travel routes (??? by which / through which?) many people take on the voyage without giving it much thought. A person’s behavior should be part of their travel plan and it would be best to study the culture of the nation they are about to visit. For example if a westerner plans to travel Middle Eastern nations they should dress appropriately. Although, their intended destination may be developed but the overall laws may be conservative and violating them may get a tourist in trouble. Public display of affection or scanty clothing might even turn your pleasure trip into a jail trip. (Impressive and it flows nicely)

On the other hand, if a person chooses to travel to western nations they can dress up in any fashion they like because of the diversity that is the part of their culture. However, due to recent animosity toward some nations, conservative religious dressing may arouse some hostile behavior. It is, thus safe to say, that when in Rome dress as Romans do. It is also believed that more civilize the nations are they better they treat their visitors as they realize that tourism is the source of economic betterment. Also this openness and acceptance provide both parties a chance to learn about different cultures and customs. - Nice passage again !!!

It can be concluded that both the tourists and the nation they are visiting should exhibit mutual respect for each other creating a friendly environment that benefits both. Open mindedness and little hospitality can do wonders for everyone who needs to learn new things.

I could give this a 7-7.5
 

Meow25

Full Member
Jun 4, 2015
34
1
Travelling is the best form of entertainment enabling you to enjoy and learn at the same time. There are people who think that travelers should adapt [+to] the culture of the country they are visiting [,] while others believe that host should be more welcoming of the tourists. Let us discuss why both parties should show respect for one another (Need to be more formal - academic style - avoid phrases like "Let us"). - Other than that - your intro is good and simple -
Waring : you have not indicated your opinion here and the thesis statement only says "discuss both sides"


[Linker is preferred] Travelling has been made easy in the modern era, with lower fares and easy travel routes (??? by which / through which?) many people take on the voyage without giving it much thought. A person’s behavior should be part of their travel plan and it would be best to study the culture of the nation they are about to visit. For example if a westerner plans to travel Middle Eastern nations they should dress appropriately. Although, their intended destination may be developed but the overall laws may be conservative and violating them may get a tourist in trouble. Public display of affection or scanty clothing might even turn your pleasure trip into a jail trip. (Impressive and it flows nicely)

On the other hand, if a person chooses to travel to western nations they can dress up in any fashion they like because of the diversity that is the part of their culture. However, due to recent animosity toward some nations, conservative religious dressing may arouse some hostile behavior. It is, thus safe to say, that when in Rome dress as Romans do. It is also believed that more civilize the nations are they better they treat their visitors as they realize that tourism is the source of economic betterment. Also this openness and acceptance provide both parties a chance to learn about different cultures and customs. - Nice passage again !!!

It can be concluded that both the tourists and the nation they are visiting should exhibit mutual respect for each other creating a friendly environment that benefits both. Open mindedness and little hospitality can do wonders for everyone who needs to learn new things.

I could give this a 7-7.5
Thank you so much for your time. I really appreciate your elaborate feedback. Means a lot.