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Worth getting married or too risky?

hbrsid86

Star Member
Dec 26, 2018
119
29
Toronto
Category........
FSW
NOC Code......
4031
AOR Received.
13-05-2019
Passport Req..
15-11-2019
LANDED..........
11-09-2021
Hey everyone! I'm looking for some guidance and if anyone can share any personal experiences or just suggestions from knowledge, I would truly appreciate it. Thanks to this forum, I was able to get my own PR and have been in Canada for just over a year now. I will keep this as short, but I think I won't succed.

My family (from Pakistan but residing in UAE) recently introduced me to a woman from Pakistan who is currently in the UK (Wales), working full-time on a postgraduate work permit type thing, after completing her master's. I've only spoken to her twice now, but it is looking like there is good potential in this as we're a good match. I'm 36 and she's turning 33 in a few months, so we're already kinda late (according to our culture, of course). After reading hundreds of posts and comments here and checking other sources, it appears that a TRV before marriage is almost impossible (she can't really show strong ties to either Pakistan or Wales since she only has a full-time job in Wales but on a work permit), so inland spousal sponsorship would be out of the question. Her points through EE would probably be 459 at best (unless she starts learning French but that's asking too much, I feel).

That leaves outland sponsorship, which has its challenges given that this will be an arranged marriage (plus the 23 months processing time currently). Now, neither can I afford to nor are either of our families really looking at having a huge wedding (just the minimum ceremonies with just enough family that we can tolerate lol). I am starting to like her (those 2 calls were 5 hours long each, so still way too early I know) but we also did not want to get more serious and grow closer unless this was even possible. So here are my few questions:

1. Is the processing time for spouse sponsorship the usual 12 months again and the 23 months is for those previously in the system, or are we still looking at almost 2 years processing time?
2. How difficult is it to show the genuineness of the marriage if we get married? Maybe that'll be by the end of next year, so I could visit her and she could try visiting me, but I only get 9 days vacation (+3 personal days) in a year, so can't even visit much or really go on a honeymoon.
3. As part of making sure it does not appear a 'marriage of convenience', is there anything else I can do to mitigate it?
4. While I'm not making my decision based on this alone, but reading all of this, is this too risky and uncertain to even try? I would hate for her or anyone to live through so much uncertainty.

Sorry, I said I will keep it short, but I wanted to share what I've been thinking of since my family feels that I am being too pessimistic, but my own feelings is, despite her being a wonderful person, there are just too many risks involved. Any thoughts and opinions would be a great help. Thank you in advance for reading even if you can't reply!
 

armoured

VIP Member
Feb 1, 2015
15,364
7,832
4. While I'm not making my decision based on this alone, but reading all of this, is this too risky and uncertain to even try? I would hate for her or anyone to live through so much uncertainty.
Go and visit and meet her, have her come and visit you.

While TRV may not be guaranteed, someone living and working in the UK with history of travel should have a decent chance of getting approved.
 
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MJSPARV

Hero Member
Sep 17, 2020
405
251
Hey everyone! I'm looking for some guidance and if anyone can share any personal experiences or just suggestions from knowledge, I would truly appreciate it. Thanks to this forum, I was able to get my own PR and have been in Canada for just over a year now. I will keep this as short, but I think I won't succed.

My family (from Pakistan but residing in UAE) recently introduced me to a woman from Pakistan who is currently in the UK (Wales), working full-time on a postgraduate work permit type thing, after completing her master's. I've only spoken to her twice now, but it is looking like there is good potential in this as we're a good match. I'm 36 and she's turning 33 in a few months, so we're already kinda late (according to our culture, of course). After reading hundreds of posts and comments here and checking other sources, it appears that a TRV before marriage is almost impossible (she can't really show strong ties to either Pakistan or Wales since she only has a full-time job in Wales but on a work permit), so inland spousal sponsorship would be out of the question. Her points through EE would probably be 459 at best (unless she starts learning French but that's asking too much, I feel).

That leaves outland sponsorship, which has its challenges given that this will be an arranged marriage (plus the 23 months processing time currently). Now, neither can I afford to nor are either of our families really looking at having a huge wedding (just the minimum ceremonies with just enough family that we can tolerate lol). I am starting to like her (those 2 calls were 5 hours long each, so still way too early I know) but we also did not want to get more serious and grow closer unless this was even possible. So here are my few questions:

1. Is the processing time for spouse sponsorship the usual 12 months again and the 23 months is for those previously in the system, or are we still looking at almost 2 years processing time?
2. How difficult is it to show the genuineness of the marriage if we get married? Maybe that'll be by the end of next year, so I could visit her and she could try visiting me, but I only get 9 days vacation (+3 personal days) in a year, so can't even visit much or really go on a honeymoon.
3. As part of making sure it does not appear a 'marriage of convenience', is there anything else I can do to mitigate it?
4. While I'm not making my decision based on this alone, but reading all of this, is this too risky and uncertain to even try? I would hate for her or anyone to live through so much uncertainty.

Sorry, I said I will keep it short, but I wanted to share what I've been thinking of since my family feels that I am being too pessimistic, but my own feelings is, despite her being a wonderful person, there are just too many risks involved. Any thoughts and opinions would be a great help. Thank you in advance for reading even if you can't reply!
From what I've read on here over and over, getting married the first or second time you meet in person can be a red flag that it's not a genuine marriage. (This is also generally good marriage advice to not get married the first or second time you meet.) Look through what IRCC asks for as proof of the genuineness of the marriage (photos, financial ties, etc etc etc) that way if you do get married you can start out right away in gathering the evidence you need.
 
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hbrsid86

Star Member
Dec 26, 2018
119
29
Toronto
Category........
FSW
NOC Code......
4031
AOR Received.
13-05-2019
Passport Req..
15-11-2019
LANDED..........
11-09-2021
Go and visit and meet her, have her come and visit you.

While TRV may not be guaranteed, someone living and working in the UK with history of travel should have a decent chance of getting approved.
That's good to know that at least the travel history plus having worked in the UK. What worried us more was that she's had her visa refused twice, approved the third time, for a visit visa to Australia (her brother resides there). I'm not sure what the reason for the refusals were, but it was probably nothing serious but I felt they would hurt her chances.
 

hbrsid86

Star Member
Dec 26, 2018
119
29
Toronto
Category........
FSW
NOC Code......
4031
AOR Received.
13-05-2019
Passport Req..
15-11-2019
LANDED..........
11-09-2021
From what I've read on here over and over, getting married the first or second time you meet in person can be a red flag that it's not a genuine marriage. (This is also generally good marriage advice to not get married the first or second time you meet.) Look through what IRCC asks for as proof of the genuineness of the marriage (photos, financial ties, etc etc etc) that way if you do get married you can start out right away in gathering the evidence you need.
Can't deny that, I also wouldn't want to get married the first or second time of meeting the person. I have seen some of the checklists for those proof of genuineness of the marriage, but with so much uncertainty surrounding it, are the risks too high to even take this further? I keep wondering if I'm just being too pessimistic or are the risks real.
 

Ibtii10

Star Member
Oct 1, 2021
146
41
Riyadh, Saudi Arabia
Category........
VISIT
That's good to know that at least the travel history plus having worked in the UK. What worried us more was that she's had her visa refused twice, approved the third time, for a visit visa to Australia (her brother resides there). I'm not sure what the reason for the refusals were, but it was probably nothing serious but I felt they would hurt her chances.
I think she should apply for TRV before getting married. After getting married, it will be very difficult to get one but not impossible because I got mine after getting married

The fact that she is currently working shows strong ties to UK. She can also make sure to have a good bank statement. Also, she will need to show letter from her employer to show that she is working there.

Rejection from other visas do not matter but you MUST always mention those rejections very clearly when your apply for TRV (there is a section for this in one of forms). If you don't mention, it will be a case of misrepresentation and can cause bigger issues.
 
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MJSPARV

Hero Member
Sep 17, 2020
405
251
So long as she discloses previous visa rejections to Australia and (anywhere else) it should be ok that she's had the rejections - she's had the visa ultimately granted and a visa for the UK. If she decides to apply for a trv you or she should look at the visitor section of the forum for info on applying etc.

As for your question of is it worth the risk and should you pursue the relationship I personally think you're asking the question wrong. PLENTY of people get married and get the PR and the process stinks but in the end it's worth it. You should be asking questions about compatibility, do you see a future with her, how many kids each of you wants, the sorts of questions people usually ask a love interest. Don't get hung up on the immigration thing as a risk - if she's the right person you're going to figure out how to make the immigration stuff work. So focus on figuring out if this relationship is right for you both. (But also realize there are things you can and should do to set yourselves up for a smoother immigration experience if it comes to that, like try to get a trv so that inland would be an option, be intentional about getting evidence of the relationship gathered etc.)

Also I hope this all makes sense
Kiddo #2 has been awake from 2-4 most mornings lately so I don't 100% trust my fingers to type a coherent message!
 
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hbrsid86

Star Member
Dec 26, 2018
119
29
Toronto
Category........
FSW
NOC Code......
4031
AOR Received.
13-05-2019
Passport Req..
15-11-2019
LANDED..........
11-09-2021
I think she should apply for TRV before getting married. After getting married, it will be very difficult to get one but not impossible because I got mine after getting married

The fact that she is currently working shows strong ties to UK. She can also make sure to have a good bank statement. Also, she will need to show letter from her employer to show that she is working there.

Rejection from other visas do not matter but you MUST always mention those rejections very clearly when your apply for TRV (there is a section for this in one of forms). If you don't mention, it will be a case of misrepresentation and can cause bigger issues.
I always thought rejections to other places would influence this decision as well, so thank you for giving some hope.

As for your question of is it worth the risk and should you pursue the relationship I personally think you're asking the question wrong. PLENTY of people get married and get the PR and the process stinks but in the end it's worth it. You should be asking questions about compatibility, do you see a future with her, how many kids each of you wants, the sorts of questions people usually ask a love interest. Don't get hung up on the immigration thing as a risk - if she's the right person you're going to figure out how to make the immigration stuff work. So focus on figuring out if this relationship is right for you both. (But also realize there are things you can and should do to set yourselves up for a smoother immigration experience if it comes to that, like try to get a trv so that inland would be an option, be intentional about getting evidence of the relationship gathered etc.)

Also I hope this all makes sense
Kiddo #2 has been awake from 2-4 most mornings lately so I don't 100% trust my fingers to type a coherent message!
Definitely makes sense. While we have discussed some of those very important things and they do matter a lot, I have said that before we go any further and start to develop actual feelings (given how she's definitely very different from anyone else I've come across and I can see there is a chance of seeing a future with her), I've also looked at all those percentages of spousal visas rejections, the fact that it can take 23 months (if TRV doesn't work out), and even then if they are not convinced of the genuineness of the marriage then I might have to leave Canada maybe. I worked hard to finally immigrate to Canada, so I could get closer to my sister and her family (though they're in Cali) and to help bring my parents here, so at 36 where I have only ever done things for my family, this feels like a huge gamble.

:) And thank you again for taking the time and please don't feel obliged to respond.