Unusual Question

[crazylove]

Hi,

I have a question and i am looking for accurate and sincere help. Applicant who get into disagreements with their spouses while their inland sponsorship application is in process do have some sort of rights in Canada?. I am asking because my wife and I are having a lot of issues and she is being really unreasonable with me. She has an addiction for drugs and she has asked me to fix her habit and i am trying my best to support her. But everything is going against me, whenever she drinks and get high during the week and on weekend (4-5 times a week) i try to advise her and she turns on me and says i am attacking her and etc etc. It is extremely painful for me because i lover her. I stay in our room trying to sleep but i cant knowing that she is out hurting herself. She asks me to join but i refuse because i don' want to then she says i am boring. I am passed all of that and she knows what she is doing is wrong but again she turns on me. I don't know what to do i am so hurt and devastated with this situation.

Last week i pointed out to her that babe you got to take it easy, and again she turned t into a big fight and she wants me to leave. Because she thinks i don't love her anymore and i am always attacking her. And its not true i love my wife more than anything but what she is doing to herself is wrong, even though i told her babe everything in limit is not bad and i don't care. But i hate it when people become excessive and her habits are effecting me.

I don't know what to do. Do i have any right here even though i am not a citizen yet. Can i a get a lawyer to help me get a job so i can sponsor myself etc etc.

Please help me.

 

[crazylove]

I hate to write this here but i have no idea where to seek help from.

 

[Kimore]

Your wife needs helps, professional help. You cannot help her. A drug addict needs help and support, however if the addict do not recognized that they have a problem it will be hard to reach out to that person. I wish you all the best.

With regards to your immigration situation. You may need to speak with a lawyer, however someone else here may have a better idea. Once again all the best, and i am sorry to here that you are going through this situation.

 

[lynw]

Sorry, that sounds awful, for both of you. Of course she needs help, she is self destructing. I don't have anything to suggest on that front.

On the sponsorship front, if she's as wrecked as she sounds, then she probably won't be capable/inclined to do anything to stop it happening. A sad situation all round, I hope you manage to persuade her to get help.

 

[HoneyBird]

I am sorry to hear about your plight. I do not know the answer to your question, the only thing I would of done would be to either 1. Continue to work it out with her to the best of my ability and wait out the inland process (maybe it would come through for you in a few months?) and then re assess your situation cause now you will have more rights as a Permanent Resident 2. Pack up and head home (where ever it maybe and file the divorce from there)- after all you are only in Canada because you married her.

Drug Addiction is never an easy thing to overcome, BUT ensure you have made every effort to help her before you make the final decision to leave her.

Many families over come it and live happily thereafter (I know from experience) But its a long hard road and lots of counselling.

I am really sorry about your situation. Marriage is one of the most challenging things you will ever do in your life...and this is one of many challenges you will face in a lifetime. But until you are sure that you have done everything to help her, because it sounds like you love her alot, don't bring an end to the marriage.

 

[lynw]

I am sorry to hear about your plight. I do not know the answer to your question, the only thing I would of done would be to either 1. Continue to work it out with her to the best of my ability and wait out the inland process (maybe it would come through for you in a few months?) and then re assess your situation cause now you will have more rights as a Permanent Resident 2. Pack up and head home (where ever it maybe and file the divorce from there)- after all you are only in Canada because you married her.

Drug Addiction is never an easy thing to overcome, BUT ensure you have made every effort to help her before you make the final decision to leave her.

Many families over come it and live happily thereafter (I know from experience) But its a long hard road and lots of counselling.

I am really sorry about your situation. Marriage is one of the most challenging things you will ever do in your life...and this is one of many challenges you will face in a lifetime. But until you are sure that you have done everything to help her, because it sounds like you love her alot, don't bring an end to the marriage.

Perfectly put Honeybird.

 

[crazylove]

thanks for your reply guys.. I am trying my best to help her. The only problem is if i leave then we will be separated and then there is no coming back. Thats why i am asking if i have any other options while i am in Canada.

 

[lynw]

Would she go to *any* kind of counselling with you? Marriage counseling say? Does she have any non-addicted friends who could help? What about her employers, is she working? (though goodness knows how she would be)

 

[crazylove]

Her friends are as bad as her. She went to work this morning only sleeping an hour or so. She says that she would go to counseling with me but she doesn't. The funny thing is when i point out to her that your friends are not good for you. She goes crazy and turns on me and says i am controlling and manipulative. Her best friend is a promoter and he is high 24/7

 

[HoneyBird]

Did you met her with this problem?

 

[crazylove]

Did you met her with this problem?

i didn't know it was that serious.

 

[joecreosta]

alcohol and drugs are part of our free society. u cannot chnage that. u can only try to help her and get her doctor phycatorist help

 

[iarblue]

Where is her family?Its time you had a heart to heart with them.Then maybe all of you together can get her help.

 

[canadianwoman]

If you haven't got your PR yet, she could withdraw her sponsorship. In any case, if you still love her, and want to work on the marriage, try to get her to go to counseling. If she won't go, try going alone - Al-Anon can help the partner of an alcoholic, and it is free.
Did you apply for a work permit with your inland application? If so, it should be coming soon.
I'm very sorry to hear of your situation. Good luck.

 

[crazylove]

If you haven't got your PR yet, she could withdraw her sponsorship. In any case, if you still love her, and want to work on the marriage, try to get her to go to counseling. If she won't go, try going alone - Al-Anon can help the partner of an alcoholic, and it is free.
Did you apply for a work permit with your inland application? If so, it should be coming soon.
I'm very sorry to hear of your situation. Good luck.

yes i did apply for an OPW i assuming it should be finalised by sept-oct. I am not sure if we are going to be together anymore because things are really ugly between us. I am going back to UK.