Sponsored husband not ready to work OR pay child support

[moscatojuices]

Spousal support for 4 years and apparently ongoing sounds a bit heavy-handed for what sounds like quite a short marriage, unless perhaps the actual marriage took place years before the start of the PR application. 4 years is more than just a brief duration to allow her to get on her feet.

I can understand a judge perhaps not placing much weight on lack of PR status as long as she is, in fact, a spouse and is, in fact, in Canada. But your lawyer in your province should be well able to know what to expect from the courts there in given circumstances.

In British Columbia over the years, I have seen a handful of cases where the sponsored spouse received a higher-than-usual spousal support award, or a larger-than-usual share of family assets, based on the notion of what was given up in order to move to Canada to be with the sponsor. Here's one recent example, in which a portion of my case summary reads thus (with a link to the full 73-page judgment following):

With respect to spousal support, the wife moved to Canada from the U.K. in order to pursue a relationship with the husband. She left behind her family and support system. She was unable to obtain permanent residency in Canada until shortly before the parties’ separation. Being in Canada without permanent residency, she had to forego career opportunities she would have otherwise had by virtue of her education. Although she now had decent employment it was not secure. By being unable to obtain decent employment, she had lost seniority, missed promotions, and could only now start contributing to a workplace pension. During the majority of the marriage the husband worked overseas leaving the wife with primary childcare responsibilities. For a period she also cared for the husband’s children from a prior relationship. She took on the entire burden of the household and child-rearing responsibilities in order to facilitate the husband’s career. That also impacted her ability to further her career. In other words, she had been affected by her role in the marriage and was entitled to compensatory spousal support. She was also entitled to support on needs-based grounds. After the parties’ separation, she had to move out of the family home without any child or spousal support. She first had to “couch surf” because she could not afford rental accommodation. She had to rely on charity from the community, and government-sponsored programs, in order to house and feed herself and the children. Given their incomes for spousal support purposes, at the mid-range, the husband would pay $703 in spousal support per month for 10 years, subject to changes as the parties’ financial situation evolved in future.

See:

D. (M.) v. D. (B.) S.C., MacDonald J., 2022 BCSC 1707, Nanaimo E94031, October 3, 2022 , 73pp.

https://www.bccourts.ca/jdb-txt/sc/22/17/2022BCSC1707.htm

Wow I wanted to eat popcorn will reading that. Now that was freaking messy - and this is EXACTLY why the quantum of risk dramatically increases during a divorce when you decide to import a wife. Because she effectively fell off the established "career ladder" so to speak, in the UK, she was defaulted to child-rearing duties, couldn't find a good-paying job, and this eventually cost him big time in this circumstance.

I am not for a second suggesting this is a bad thing or she didn't deserve it, but certainly the financial pain would have been a lot less if this was a divorce between two people established in Canada who are citizens/hold PR.

 

[moscatojuices]

Thank you for your further comments, which I accept as genuine and borne of your own experience.

I have quoted only a small portion of you comments, to which I would point out that I have been through the experience of sponsoring a spouse from Asia and going through divorce.

In my case, I would not characterize it as a "bad relationship". Our situation was unusual in that we did not start out as looking to be in a spousal or other relationship, but life events brought us together in a way that made marriage appropriate. We also had not planned to live in Canada, but had planned to stay in her country. However, staying in Canada became necessary for awhile, and ended up being long term. But, she was much younger than I and not someone I would have gone looking for if looking for a wile. But, somehow, it worked. So, in our 18 years together, I wore many hats...husband, lover, mentor, big brother, father, teacher, and more. I always knew the day would come when she would realize I was all she had ever known in the world and she would want to spread her wings and try flying without me.

With her, I became a father for the first and only time and now have a wonderful son, of whom I am proud. She gave me that. She was a superb mother. She was a fine wife. Lots and lots of good times and memories. So, not a "bad" relationship at all. We remain friends. She walked away with about $1 million in her jeans, but something I could afford. I was aware all along what the "financial exit" to which you have referred might look like. She asked for less than the law would allow and I gave her more. Because I have the means, I plan to give still more. I am proud of what she has learned and become and of my role in getting her there. No rancour at all.

Come to think of it, I have had only a few relationships in my time. Not one was bad. They came to the end of their lifespans and I look back on each with fondness. They were, in fact, all "good".

I'll share, too, that I still have not learned my lesson (at least as you would have it) about overseas relationships. I have embarked on importing one more. That's why I am on this forum. I have been away from Canada, in the Philippines, all winter. So, you can guess what I am up to here. We have tried for TRVs, but no way. So, for her to even visit Canada, marriage and PR application is the only hope, hence we are engaged in that process. I'd give it a 50/50 chance we'll be approved, but at least we'll have tried. I am prepared to live here, as I have before, if denied. And, again, while I do not expect to have to resort to it, my financial exit plan is in place. I can afford to give my present wife a good standard of living if we separate or I predecease her. She too should walk away with at least $1 million, which I recognize is a modest sum these days. For what she has given me thus far, worth every peso.

With all the bitterness you seem to harbour on this topic, may I ask what keeps you here? Simply to warn others?

Thank you for sharing your experience. Where the relationship has been good, and the partner has been good, then of course I advocate for an amicable and equitable division of assets between parties and you sound like you've been very good on that front.

My comments and suggestion of aggressive tactics only apply when things go wrong. There is no greater inducement of infuriation than when a person gives their significant other the greatest gift in the world, Canadian/Australian/UK/NZ etc. PR, and that party abuses it like it was their God-given right. Especially in cases where the relationship was relatively new. The risk just isn't worth it.

With relationships you must think like the Chief Risk Officer of a large company (especially if you're wealthy). It's not when things go right that's the issue, it's when they don't that your life can truly veer off course.

I doubt that your application won't be approved unless there are adverse findings as far as background/security goes. Canada cannot you the right of you sponsoring someone that you're in a genuine relationship with.