Should my wife and I discuss our brief break-up in our application letter?

[delzed]

Greetings. My wife and I are filing for family-class sponsorship so that I can come to Canada and live with her. We have finished our paperwork and we are now writing a cover letter.

We've told the story of our relationship over the course of about 10 pages- how we met, some details about visits we've had in each other's countries, etc. At one point, we discuss some of the hardships we've faced together. One bit is about how one of our visits got cut short as she was unable to enter the U.S. Another is about how, for one weekend a few years ago, we broke up.

Nothing awful happened, there was just something bugging her that she thought we wouldn't be able to resolve together, but she decided to give it another go and we were able to resolve the problem. I think all and all we were split up for two days.

Now, we've mentioned this in the letter for a couple of reasons. Mainly, though, it's because as we understand it, the goal of this application is to prove we have a genuine relationship. I think admitting to the warts will help the genuineness of our relationship show.

Is this misguided? Should we present ourselves as wart-free as possible without misrepresenting ourselves? Or is it a good idea to frontload details like this?

 

[scylla]

Greetings. My wife and I are filing for family-class sponsorship so that I can come to Canada and live with her. We have finished our paperwork and we are now writing a cover letter.

We've told the story of our relationship over the course of about 10 pages- how we met, some details about visits we've had in each other's countries, etc. At one point, we discuss some of the hardships we've faced together. One bit is about how one of our visits got cut short as she was unable to enter the U.S. Another is about how, for one weekend a few years ago, we broke up.

Nothing awful happened, there was just something bugging her that she thought we wouldn't be able to resolve together, but she decided to give it another go and we were able to resolve the problem. I think all and all we were split up for two days.

Now, we've mentioned this in the letter for a couple of reasons. Mainly, though, it's because as we understand it, the goal of this application is to prove we have a genuine relationship. I think admitting to the warts will help the genuineness of our relationship show.

Is this misguided? Should we present ourselves as wart-free as possible without misrepresenting ourselves? Or is it a good idea to frontload details like this?

IMO a 10 page letter is too long and you want to cut that back to about half.

A two day break up isn't material enough to mention. Leave that out.

 

[Canuck11]

They are not going to read a 10 page letter. You need to be far more succinct. They don't care about a short breakup.

 

[DimT44]

They don't even ask for this letter, and you can send a complete strong application without it. If you were a conjugal couple I would understand why you need this, but as a married couple that have lived together it's not necessary.

 

[armoured]

IMO a 10 page letter is too long and you want to cut that back to about half.

A two day break up isn't material enough to mention. Leave that out.

I would say two pages in most cases is max.

Bullet points. Facts. They don't need or want your romantic novel, and certainly not the Dostoyevsky version.

 

[scylla]

I would say two pages in most cases is max.

Bullet points. Facts. They don't need or want your romantic novel, and certainly not the Dostoyevsky version.

Yeah - I would agree with you. One page of bullets with key dates. Then 1 - 2 additional pages max of any other details. That's what we did.

 

[armoured]

Yeah - I would agree with you. One page of bullets with key dates. Then 1 - 2 additional pages max of any other details. That's what we did.

For others, I'd also note that we had several (3 or 4?) short letters of explanation on different matters. And when I say 'short', I mean a paragraph or two.

I did it this way to have short, readable and specific correspondence to provide additional info on discrete topics (which were referenced in an overall table of contents).

Perhaps a bit different in our case as I didn't really feel the need to provide a 'relationship explainer' of any length (we have kids, etc).

For those who do need to do this, I'd again emphasize: factual. Dates, people, flights, visits, etc. Leave the romance novel stuff out.

 

[delzed]

Bullet points. Facts. They don't need or want your romantic novel, and certainly not the Dostoyevsky version.

Lol understood! Thank you.

As for:

I did it this way to have short, readable and specific correspondence to provide additional info on discrete topics (which were referenced in an overall table of contents).

Perhaps a bit different in our case as I didn't really feel the need to provide a 'relationship explainer' of any length (we have kids, etc).

They don't even ask for this letter, and you can send a complete strong application without it. If you were a conjugal couple I would understand why you need this, but as a married couple that have lived together it's not necessary.

The only thing I'd ask as a follow-up here is- does the math change at all if we haven't lived together and we don't have kids? We've been in a relationship for 5 years but probably spent less than 2 collectively together, and never more than 2-3 months at a time.

I really appreciate everyone's responses here. It looks like the consensus is that this needs to be shorter and less of a love story. That is the exact opposite of the impression I was getting from some websites and I think y'all might've saved us some embarassment haha

 

[armoured]

The only thing I'd ask as a follow-up here is- does the math change at all if we haven't lived together and we don't have kids? We've been in a relationship for 5 years but probably spent less than 2 collectively together, and never more than 2-3 months at a time.

I would focus primarily and specifically on the time you have spent together. A few months at a time several times over five years is not that bad.

Just go over the checklist and see what types of things they request - if you have decent 'coverage' in each of the types of examples you'll be pretty good.

Whether you need 'more' just depends, and you'll eventually have to make your own judgment.

 

[delzed]

I would focus primarily and specifically on the time you have spent together. A few months at a time several times over five years is not that bad.

Just go over the checklist and see what types of things they request - if you have decent 'coverage' in each of the types of examples you'll be pretty good.

Whether you need 'more' just depends, and you'll eventually have to make your own judgment.

Understood. Thank you for your help!