Non accompanying Children ... HELP!

[Misplaced Brit]

I have three children who are at home in the UK. They are not going to be part of my sponsorship application. When I booked my flight to Canada, I signed away my parental rights to them under pressure from my ex's lawyer, because it was agreed that I would be staying in Canada.

I know I have to put them on my application form, even though I have no parental rights over them and though they're not dependent on me for anything, financially or otherwise, but my ex will not allow them to have a medical done. I have tried to talk to him about the medicals and have received no response from him, I got my daughters Grandmother to talk to him on my behalf, and all he would say is 'They're not having a medical. Why should they?' She explained that it was for my immigration application, but he refused point blank. She told me there was no chance of changing his mind.

So now what do I do? From everything I have read, it's entirely possible that immigration may refuse my application because my ex will not allow the kids to be tested. I need advice!!

 

[Misplaced Brit]

Just as a FYI - I've emailed several immigration lawyers for a little advice too. I'm wondering whether I'll even have to put the kids on my application, given that I have no parental rights to them at all, and they're not dependent on me. With this weekend being Thanksgiving, and most places closed tomorrow, I'm not expecting to hear anything until Tuesday at least.

 

[x5-452]

Sorry you are going through this and all I can do is give suggestions.
If your ex is dead set in not allowing the kids to have medicals, then get a written statement from him stating this fact. Have him notarize it. Keep this letter with you for future references. Keep any emails or letters you send to anybody regarding the fact that you were trying really hard to get this done for your kids. If the time comes that something happens and the kids want to be with you, you have these documents in hand to appeal your case. Just keep trying hard and see what other answers will help you out in this situation. I'm sure you are not alone in this type of issue.

 

[Misplaced Brit]

Thanks for the suggestion. I can call my daughters Grandmother and ask her to try and get a letter from him stating that he has refused to allow the kids to have a medical. I like that idea, though I may have to send it in later than my application, which we're hoping to get sent in by the end of this week. Still, so long as it gets sent in, that's the main thing.

I'm also going to see what the lawyers I've emailed have to say. they are immigration lawyers so they should have some suggestions at least!

Thanks though!

 

[x5-452]

Another suggestion would be that you indicate on your application that you have kids but the other parent will not allow you to perform medicals. This way you have already alerted immigration that you've told them of your situation. If they pull your file up in the future they can see that you had this stated in your application.

 

[Misplaced Brit]

I can do that, but apparently, it's not enough to just state to immigration that he won't allow them to have a medical. According to some posts I've read, their attitude is 'too bad!'

I've just spoken to my daughters Grandmother who is going to try and get in touch with him now and ask him to get a notarized letter stating that he won't have them tested. Hopefully he'll agree to that at least.

 

[x5-452]

I wish you luck! This is the least he can do.
Have you asked your ex what would happen to the kids in the event something happens to him?

We were worried about what my wife's ex would say about letting their daughter have the medicals and luckily he agreed. I was a bit optimistic he would agree to it since i get the vibe he's a bit of a jerk. But luckily he agreed. My wife made it clear to him that he needs to think about what would happen if something happens to him and what would happen to their daughter and who would take care of her. I hope your ex can just try to rational with you and think about the kids and not himself.

 

[Misplaced Brit]

Unfortunately, my ex is a HUGE jerk and rarely thinks about anyone other than himself. However, I can't fault him where the kids are concerned. He is a good father, and for that, I'm thankful.

I just got a text from my Daughters Grandmother, who has informed me that he is going to write a letter and give it to her so that she can send it to me. I'm grateful that he has agreed to that, at the very least.

 

[matthewc]

However, I can't fault him where the kids are concerned. He is a good father, and for that, I'm thankful.

If that's true, and he really wants to put the interests of the kids above all, he needs to ask himself very, very carefully "what would happen if I was killed in a car accident next year, and there was nobody else around to look after the kids?"

Probably his answer would be that his parents will look after them, or someone else. But what if they weren't able to?

What this is about, is preserving a right - the right for you to be able to sponsor them to Canada in future if the need arises. The kids need to be examined now so that the door to you being able to take care of them isn't closed. It doesn't mean he's giving up custody; it doesn't mean he's saying they will ever move to Canada (quite likely from the sounds of it they never will). All it is, is making sure that if some unthinkable sequence of events happens, and you need to step back in to the situation and be there for your children at least the possibility is there. If the meds aren't done now, that won't be an option. Ever.

If he's a good father, IMO he'll get the medicals done.

 

[eyeoftheocean]

If there are complications with your ex refusing to Notarize the letter , don't worry , CIC have ways around it.
You will land before the kids would anyway if your ex was to cooperate with you .