I apologize if I'm posting in the wrong forum.
I have been in Canada since 2009. I came here with my common-law wife from the Caribbean. She is a PR. Before making this move, we'd been living in the Caribbean for more than a year, so she told me that we would need a place to stay for a couple days until we secure an apartment, then we can apply for my PR, etc. She made it seem so easy. I have a distant cousin here that arranged a room for us to share an apartment with others (not with my cousin, himself). I sold my car and other business assets to come here and start a life. When I got here it was on a visitor visa, of course.
We stayed in the person's apartment for two months before getting kicked out because my wife did not seem interested in finding a job. I'm going to make a very long story short and say that in 11 years, this woman has never worked a full time job and seems to have grown comfortable living on EI/social. We have been struggling together - from sleeping on the floor on a blow-up bed in a tiny room, to having our apartment and furniture and appliances and lots of stuff now - and I have been undocumented all this time. We have had three kids since and am not ashamed to say that I have had done various (full time) work dishonestly to support my family - some for a few years straight. In terms of trying to get my papers, we had been to a lawyer once in maybe 2011 but nothing has started because she won't get off assistance. There is always some excuse: she need to do some school course, nobody is hiring, etc.
I am currently a student at the tuition-free (because this is what I can afford) American online university - University of the People. I am pursuing a Bachelor of Science degree in Business Administration, and I am doing very well academically. I am an aspiring entrepreneur and there are products I want to try to launch but, being in my situation, I cannot even start a business. Thinking about these things makes me depressed and stressed and I can feel my health deteriorating. Even as I write this I can feel my heart palpitating, as it has been doing for almost three months now.
Lately, we have been fighting a lot. From my frustration I have told her a lot of hurtful things - like how she is not motivated enough to get a job and file for me - and other issues from the past. I take responsibility for my hurtful words but I am approaching my 40s and I just feel like I am getting older and going nowhere. I have no bank account of my own, no type of insurance or annuity, no career, no social or professional network, I am just like an undocumented housewife. Our fighting has gotten to the point that It feels like it is over and I am considering leaving.
My options:
I am sorry for the long post, I tried cutting out many details. I don't know if many other people would put up with what I have, but can anyone offer some advice. I would like to get my life together, and it would appear that my wife can not help.
Thanks for reading.
I have been in Canada since 2009. I came here with my common-law wife from the Caribbean. She is a PR. Before making this move, we'd been living in the Caribbean for more than a year, so she told me that we would need a place to stay for a couple days until we secure an apartment, then we can apply for my PR, etc. She made it seem so easy. I have a distant cousin here that arranged a room for us to share an apartment with others (not with my cousin, himself). I sold my car and other business assets to come here and start a life. When I got here it was on a visitor visa, of course.
We stayed in the person's apartment for two months before getting kicked out because my wife did not seem interested in finding a job. I'm going to make a very long story short and say that in 11 years, this woman has never worked a full time job and seems to have grown comfortable living on EI/social. We have been struggling together - from sleeping on the floor on a blow-up bed in a tiny room, to having our apartment and furniture and appliances and lots of stuff now - and I have been undocumented all this time. We have had three kids since and am not ashamed to say that I have had done various (full time) work dishonestly to support my family - some for a few years straight. In terms of trying to get my papers, we had been to a lawyer once in maybe 2011 but nothing has started because she won't get off assistance. There is always some excuse: she need to do some school course, nobody is hiring, etc.
I am currently a student at the tuition-free (because this is what I can afford) American online university - University of the People. I am pursuing a Bachelor of Science degree in Business Administration, and I am doing very well academically. I am an aspiring entrepreneur and there are products I want to try to launch but, being in my situation, I cannot even start a business. Thinking about these things makes me depressed and stressed and I can feel my health deteriorating. Even as I write this I can feel my heart palpitating, as it has been doing for almost three months now.
Lately, we have been fighting a lot. From my frustration I have told her a lot of hurtful things - like how she is not motivated enough to get a job and file for me - and other issues from the past. I take responsibility for my hurtful words but I am approaching my 40s and I just feel like I am getting older and going nowhere. I have no bank account of my own, no type of insurance or annuity, no career, no social or professional network, I am just like an undocumented housewife. Our fighting has gotten to the point that It feels like it is over and I am considering leaving.
My options:
- Stay with my distant cousin for a while until I figure things out. He has a house now and is doing OK.
- Move to Chatham-Kent where I have an uncle (my mom's brother). He is going through a nasty divorce and is unemployed for the past month due to COVID
- Go stay at a shelter
- Go back to the Caribbean when it's clear to travel. I might die of shame and don't know if I can afford the ticket.
- Try to work things out and hope she looks for a job soon
I am sorry for the long post, I tried cutting out many details. I don't know if many other people would put up with what I have, but can anyone offer some advice. I would like to get my life together, and it would appear that my wife can not help.
Thanks for reading.
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