How long should I wait before proposing to marry

[naresh57]

In July 2013, I was introduced to a Chinese girl (now my spouse) by her sister in Canada for me to teach her English. Just 10 days after the introduction without the knowledge of the sister, I proposed to her but she refused. again after a month I proposed for the second time and succeeded. Two weeks after the she accepted my proposal to marry, the application she had submitted for a temporary caregiver visa to Canada got rejected due to poor English. After communicating regularly (sometimes twice a day )online, on the phone and after exchanging a lot of gifts etc. I married her last month in China. That was the first time I saw her face-to-face and we happily stayed in her house for a week before I got back to Canada. It was a "love at first sight" kind of a thing and now we find that we are a perfect match. I am wondering if CIC would consider my proposing to her in 10 days too early. Also although she gave me the word before the Nanny visa application was rejected, will the CIC think she found me as an alternative to obtain a visa.
Please advise.
Thanks and Regards

 

[QuebecOkie]

You are definitely going to raise some major red flags with CIC. Yes, they will see proposing within 10 days as a problem. They will also see marrying during the first in-person meeting as a problem. Add to that the fact that she just had another visa app rejected, and not only are you sure to get an interview, but I'm highly doubtful that CIC will view this as a genuine and ongoing relationship. Is there any way that you can go live with her in China for a while to establish an in-person relationship? Or is there a third country to which you both could go and live for at least six months, or better yet, a year, to show that you're a genuine couple?

 

[keesio]

In July 2013, I was introduced to a Chinese girl (now my spouse) by her sister in Canada for me to teach her English. Just 10 days after the introduction without the knowledge of the sister, I proposed to her but she refused. again after a month I proposed for the second time and succeeded.

...

I married her last month in China. That was the first time I saw her face-to-face and we happily stayed in her house for a week before I got back to Canada.

Wait a minute... are you saying you proposed (twice) without ever seeing her face-to-face?? And then you got married the first time you met her face-to-face??

Oh boy... you may be in for a rough ride. I would wait awhile before sponsoring her. Maybe go live with her for a year before applying. If you sponsor her now, it will look very suspicious to CIC.

 

[mikeymyke]

Honestly, I think you have two problems, and unfortunately, CIC only needs to discover one of the two problems to refuse your PR. Your marriage doesn't seem genuine, and it seems to have been done to enter Canada.

Not genuine because of quick proposal without meeting, marriage on first visit.
Marriage done for PR because sister is in Canada and was the one who introduced you to her (sister is a "pull factor" which shows a potential for the applicant to want to reunite with sister in Canada), and applicant attempted to apply to enter Canada before.

You will definitely get an interview, make no mistake about that. The most important thing you need to do is to address those two problems.

To counter the non-genuine part, you should live with your spouse for at least a year or more. Just simply going back to Canada and wait out a year isn't sufficient. It would help a lot too if your family could come to China one day on a family vacation and go visit her and her family. That will be a HUGE boost to your genuineness. I'm assuming none of your family attended the wedding right? In that case, having them visit her and her family at least once is very beneficial.

I won't lie though, I think you will have a hard time defending the "marriage for PR' part, because her history shows that she did apply to enter Canada before, and that her sister is in Canada already and her sis was the one who introduced you to her. Can't really change what happened in the past. I think to counter this, what you could possibly do is write a letter explaining that if your PR fails, you will go live with her in China. Make plans about what you will do in China, what she will do. Where you will live, what jobs you will do, etc.

 

[truesmile]

Ok here's a thought.

Help her with her English. Enough that she'll pass the English requirement to "get" that temporary care-giver visa. As soon as she arrives . . . file her application for PR, "inland". Of course this time she'd have to declare that she's married . . . to a Canadian.

What do you all think?


Incidentally, in our application we submitted a photo of our "proposal", and even labelled it "Re-enactment of Proposal". Of course, why would we do that in front of a camera, so we acted it out again just for the camera later. Just for consistency (consistency with the date on the photo), we put that down as our engagement date. No biggie, it wasn't off by much, but I suppose it could have been.

 

[Obronibini]

In July 2013, I was introduced to a Chinese girl (now my spouse) by her sister in Canada for me to teach her English. Just 10 days after the introduction without the knowledge of the sister, I proposed to her but she refused. again after a month I proposed for the second time and succeeded. Two weeks after the she accepted my proposal to marry, the application she had submitted for a temporary caregiver visa to Canada got rejected due to poor English. After communicating regularly (sometimes twice a day )online, on the phone and after exchanging a lot of gifts etc. I married her last month in China. That was the first time I saw her face-to-face and we happily stayed in her house for a week before I got back to Canada. It was a "love at first sight" kind of a thing and now we find that we are a perfect match. I am wondering if CIC would consider my proposing to her in 10 days too early. Also although she gave me the word before the Nanny visa application was rejected, will the CIC think she found me as an alternative to obtain a visa.
Please advise.
Thanks and Regards

teach her English online ? Cic may assume her sister had a motive to get you guys together for her sister to gain pr, especially since she has just been refused . I've seen case like this that was refused , that was a different native though , just do what others have said etc provide more proves of g relationship

 

[alicia13]

Honestly, I think you have two problems, and unfortunately, CIC only needs to discover one of the two problems to refuse your PR. Your marriage doesn't seem genuine, and it seems to have been done to enter Canada.

Not genuine because of quick proposal without meeting, marriage on first visit.
Marriage done for PR because sister is in Canada and was the one who introduced you to her (sister is a "pull factor" which shows a potential for the applicant to want to reunite with sister in Canada), and applicant attempted to apply to enter Canada before.

You will definitely get an interview, make no mistake about that. The most important thing you need to do is to address those two problems.

To counter the non-genuine part, you should live with your spouse for at least a year or more. Just simply going back to Canada and wait out a year isn't sufficient. It would help a lot too if your family could come to China one day on a family vacation and go visit her and her family. That will be a HUGE boost to your genuineness. I'm assuming none of your family attended the wedding right? In that case, having them visit her and her family at least once is very beneficial.

I won't lie though, I think you will have a hard time defending the "marriage for PR' part, because her history shows that she did apply to enter Canada before, and that her sister is in Canada already and her sis was the one who introduced you to her. Can't really change what happened in the past. I think to counter this, what you could possibly do is write a letter explaining that if your PR fails, you will go live with her in China. Make plans about what you will do in China, what she will do. Where you will live, what jobs you will do, etc.

This seems to be excellent advice.
OP's story seems like a textbook case of marriage fraud without making some serious amendments before applying.

 

[Kysorb]

I am only going to ask this cause I think its gonna matter for you later.

you said "Married her in China"

Now, after having recently done this I know this is no local court house thing. You have to go to the Canadian Embassy and get a letter stating you have no impediments to marriage and they only do that on Tuesday and Thursday from 1:30 to 3:00. (this is not even a joke)

Next. you have to travel to the Chinese person's hometown as all paperwork for a Chinese citizen must be registered through their home town always. And from experience i know they only process foreigner applications on certain days at certain times when the Moon, Mars, and Saturn are in perfect alignment. (this is a joke, but again its on certain days VERY SLOWLY)

Not to mention you need the Hukou file for your spouse which traditionally is held on to by her parents until it is time to "give her away".... Again from experience, there are very generalized two kinds of Chinese Parents... The visa hunter kind who believe that anywhere but here is better, and the much more common OH MY GOD YOU ARE STEALING MY GOOD TRADITIONAL CHINESE DAUGHTER AND TAKING HER TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD kind. Knowing this, if you actually got her Hukou without them flipping the farm over when they first heard their daughter wanted to marry a lao wai I think you seriously need to ask yourself about the situation you are in and if even though you asked her to marry you if indeed it is not you being taken advantage of.

That might hurt to hear and and it's rather tough to say... and I'm sorry, but someone needs to tell it to you.

 

[truesmile]

This sure is an interesting one. All comments factoring in, does your work lend itself to being away for say a year at a time? I'm sure you don't question anyone's motives here. BUT since quite a few have suggested that you will need to live together for about a year, it seems like a good reason to say to her, our application does not look good, I need to come and live there for a year first. And gauge her reaction to that idea.