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help for letter of explanation-I proper editing to qualify my application.

F

fordjour

Guest
FACTORS THAT HAVE INFLUENCE MY CAREER DECISIONS, PLANS AND
WHY I WANT A STUDY PERMIT
I write to your High Commission (Visa Section) to apply for a study permit for a period of twenty-four (24) months to enable me to pursue a Master’s of Business Administration (MBA) course in University Canada West.
As a teenager, I was fortunate to stay with a guardian, who was a fish –monger and operated small-scale financial services. I used to go to the customers houses and stall to collect their daily deposits and, gave out money to those who had finished their monthly deposits. At that formative age, I learnt a lot about operating very simple traditional financial services. This arouses my desire to learn and operate financial services. Going through this learning curve, I have come to appreciate the fact that, sometimes one needed more than the physical cash to be more competitive in business environments and business administration.
To help me achieve my aim, I first entered Teacher Training College to acquire the skills of imparting and the psychology of dealing with all kinds of people. Also, I remembered my Economic Master in Secondary School days, had told me once that,” teachers are most patient, good listeners and solution oriented people due to our training”. I have grown to understand him. Teaching is very interesting field, imparting knowledge and seeing them succeed in both business and school environments have been a source of happiness to me. I love to teach. It has exposed me to behavioral attitudes of the individual.
I had read Management and Sociology as undergraduate, which were combination of business administration and the study of societal worldview. I also, took courses at the Ghana Stock Exchange, under the following modules: Introduction to investment, Fundamentals of Finance and Financial Markets, Investments Analysis and Portfolio Management, Corporate Finance, Securities trading and Investment Advisory Techniques and Legal and Regulatory Framework and Supervision. In bid to try to be understood investments, portfolio management and legal regulations of financial industries in Ghana. I had courses in International Strategic Management, Leadership, and International Strategic Human Resources Management at Chibs and Associates Consulting Nigeria Limited and Business Education Exams Council Ghana (BEEC) respectively. I have work in banking industry as Direct Sales Agent, where I interacted face to face with customers, who want do to business with the bank. I gave banking advice and opened accounts .This afford the chance to learn banking activities that pertains in Ghana. I had took an appointment at the Nhyira Art Arcade earlier, as an International Trade Officer and ,my basic duty was to diligently finalized contracts with foreign partners and buyers to the monetary benefits to both parties. I have carted these paths to try to mould myself for my future career plans.
Moreover, self-satisfaction cannot rule out in my final career decision and also monetary rewards are crucial but, opportunity to learn and, job prospects will be satisfied to me. I have nursed and nurtured this opportunity to learn new skills and possess up –to speed information about modern business administration and adopt the fast –changing business skills, enrich my experience, explore my interest to improve myself and enrich my research skills in the business environments to make more knowledgeable and productive.
Upon completion, I will come back to Ghana and starts working in financial services industry as an entrepreneur, financial analyst or a consultant. In my private time, I will try to continuously up-date myself through short courses, so that, I will become more competitive, to gather enough managerial and analytical skills and experience. I seriously envisage owning a consulting office in Ghana.
I strongly believe that, studying in Canada will smooth my career path, deepen my requisite expertise and broaden my perspectives in business administration.
Thank you.
Yours faithfully,
 

rosoc

Member
May 3, 2011
13
0
Category........
Visa Office......
Mexico D.F.
Job Offer........
Pre-Assessed..
App. Filed.......
July 11, 2011
Doc's Request.
July 22, 2011
Med's Request
None
VISA ISSUED...
August 3, 2011
LANDED..........
If god permits, August 24, 2011
A very good and heartfelt SOP. I would suggest one thing, explain why you chose Canada West as the University of choice. For example, in my case I chose Queen's because one professors expertise that is not available at other universities. Other than that, pretty good, good luck!
 

icecool222

Hero Member
Aug 1, 2010
378
16
fordjour said:
FACTORS THAT HAVE INFLUENCE MY CAREER DECISIONS, PLANS AND
WHY I WANT A STUDY PERMIT
I write to your High Commission (Visa Section) to apply for a study permit for a period of twenty-four (24) months to enable me to pursue a Master's of Business Administration (MBA) course in University Canada West.
As a teenager, I was fortunate to stay with a guardian, who was a fish –monger and operated small-scale financial services. I used to go to the customers houses and stall to collect their daily deposits and, gave out money to those who had finished their monthly deposits. At that formative age, I learnt a lot about operating very simple traditional financial services. This arouses my desire to learn and operate financial services. Going through this learning curve, I have come to appreciate the fact that, sometimes one needed more than the physical cash to be more competitive in business environments and business administration.
To help me achieve my aim, I first entered Teacher Training College to acquire the skills of imparting and the psychology of dealing with all kinds of people. Also, I remembered my Economic Master in Secondary School days, had told me once that,” teachers are most patient, good listeners and solution oriented people due to our training”. I have grown to understand him. Teaching is very interesting field, imparting knowledge and seeing them succeed in both business and school environments have been a source of happiness to me. I love to teach. It has exposed me to behavioral attitudes of the individual.
I had read Management and Sociology as undergraduate, which were combination of business administration and the study of societal worldview. I also, took courses at the Ghana Stock Exchange, under the following modules: Introduction to investment, Fundamentals of Finance and Financial Markets, Investments Analysis and Portfolio Management, Corporate Finance, Securities trading and Investment Advisory Techniques and Legal and Regulatory Framework and Supervision. In bid to try to be understood investments, portfolio management and legal regulations of financial industries in Ghana. I had courses in International Strategic Management, Leadership, and International Strategic Human Resources Management at Chibs and Associates Consulting Nigeria Limited and Business Education Exams Council Ghana (BEEC) respectively. I have work in banking industry as Direct Sales Agent, where I interacted face to face with customers, who want do to business with the bank. I gave banking advice and opened accounts .This afford the chance to learn banking activities that pertains in Ghana. I had took an appointment at the Nhyira Art Arcade earlier, as an International Trade Officer and ,my basic duty was to diligently finalized contracts with foreign partners and buyers to the monetary benefits to both parties. I have carted these paths to try to mould myself for my future career plans.
Moreover, self-satisfaction cannot rule out in my final career decision and also monetary rewards are crucial but, opportunity to learn and, job prospects will be satisfied to me. I have nursed and nurtured this opportunity to learn new skills and possess up –to speed information about modern business administration and adopt the fast –changing business skills, enrich my experience, explore my interest to improve myself and enrich my research skills in the business environments to make more knowledgeable and productive.
Upon completion, I will come back to Ghana and starts working in financial services industry as an entrepreneur, financial analyst or a consultant. In my private time, I will try to continuously up-date myself through short courses, so that, I will become more competitive, to gather enough managerial and analytical skills and experience. I seriously envisage owning a consulting office in Ghana.
I strongly believe that, studying in Canada will smooth my career path, deepen my requisite expertise and broaden my perspectives in business administration.
Thank you.
Yours faithfully,

very good SOP but you can try to make it a little shorter, because you see visa officers are very busy, so you should concentrate on the main points and remove the rest.
 
L

lala2010

Guest
Hi I wasn't sure if you wanted it checked for grammatical errors but here you go:

FACTORS THAT HAVE INFLUENCE MY CAREER DECISIONS, PLANS AND
WHY I WANT A STUDY PERMIT

I am writing to your High Commission (Visa Section) to apply for a study permit for a period of twenty-four (24) months to enable me to pursue a Master's of Business Administration (MBA) course in University Canada West.

As a teenager, I was fortunate enough to stay with a guardian who was a fish –monger and operated small-scale financial services. I used to go to the customers homes and stalls to collect their daily deposits; as well as, give out money to those who had finished their monthly deposits. At that formative age, I learnt a lot about operating straightforward traditional financial services. This arose my desire to learn about and eventually operate financial services. Through my experience, I have come to appreciate, one needs more than capital to be competitive in business environments and business administration.

To date, I have taken several proactive steps to achieve my goal. To begin with, I entered teacher-training college to acquire the skills of imparting and the psychology of dealing with all kinds of people. My motivations to purse this track was my economics teacher in secondary school told me, “teachers are most patient, good listeners, and solution oriented people due to our training.” I entirely agree. Teaching is a very interesting field; I have the privilege to impart knowledge, see students succeed (in both business and school environments), and have been exposed to various behavioral attitudes of individuals. Teaching has been a great source of happiness to me.

However, I am now prepared to take the necessary steps to achieve my goal. I would like to combine my teaching experience with my undergraduate degree in Management and Sociology. This program focused on business administration and the study of societal worldview. As well, I have participated in classes at the Ghana Stock Exchange, under the following modules: Introduction to investment, Fundamentals of Finance and Financial Markets, Investments Analysis and Portfolio Management, Corporate Finance, Securities trading and Investment Advisory Techniques and Legal and Regulatory Framework and Supervision. In bid to try to be understood investments, portfolio management and legal regulations of financial industries in Ghana. I had courses in International Strategic Management, Leadership, and International Strategic Human Resources Management at Chibs and Associates Consulting Nigeria Limited and Business Education Exams Council Ghana (BEEC) respectively.

To further exemplify my work experience pertinent to studying for an MBA, I have experience working in the banking industry as Direct Sales Agent, where I interacted directly with customers. This role allowed me to use my knowledge to give banking advice, assists clients with their needs and to learn first hand banking activities in Ghana. Additionally, I held the position of International Trade Officer at the Nhyira Art Arcade. While there, I diligently finalized contracts with foreign partners and buyers that monetarily benefited both parties. As demonstrated, I have been steadily following a paths to lead my to my future career goals.

One crucial piece to the puzzle, is obtaining an MBA from a reputable university. Your positive decision for my student visa would bring me self-satisfaction, an opportunity to learn, and job prospects, which would not otherwise be made available to me. I have taken advantage of all opportunities given to me to learn new skills, adopt up to date information about modern business administration, gain experience, and explore my interests all in the aim of being a knowledgeable and productive business person.
Upon completion of my MBA, I am coming back to Ghana to starts working in the financial services industry as an entrepreneur, financial analyst, or consultant. With my MBA in hand, I will have more competitive managerial and analytical skills. These skills will directly benefit numerous people in Ghana as I envision myself owning a consulting office in Ghana.
As demonstrated, I am a motivated business professional, looking to improve my current situation and that of my country. I sincerely feel that in Canada will create an upward trajectory for my career path, deepen my expertise and broaden my perspectives in business administration.

Thank you.
Yours truly,