Disabled Sponsor, Sweetheart in Togo

[keesio]

Going back on track... I'm afraid the OP will have a rough go with this sponsorship. There are so many red flags that it will be tough to convince CIC. They have rejected sponsorships for less.

 

[mikeymyke]

Yes it will be tough for her, but not impossible. I think one of the biggest things going against her is that she is unwilling and incapable of living with her spouse should his PR application fail, which is a possibility given the red flags. Most interviewers ask "What will you do should I refuse this application?" at the end of the interview.

 

[MissThea]

:'(Who said I was unwilling to live with my spouse?
HE IS NOT my spouse; he's my sweetheart.
And suppose I don't believe in blasted common law marriage. Suppose I think premarital sex is a sin? Do I have to go against my beliefs just to get ther person I love over to Canada?
And what's all this talk about getting sighted friend/family to help with a visit? I thought I'd already made it clear that I don't have family, and I sure as "censored word" don't have the money.
That's why I didn't go to Lome in the first place--because the loan I got was for $2500, and yes, I've sent a good deal of it to him. I've never sent anyone money before. I've said no lots of times, never sent my bank information to so-called people who need to send their money through a Canadian or US bank account.
Eugene Mathias is just one person I can't say no to.
I don't want to hear any more of this "unwilling" business. I can't go to Africa. I don't have the money, and I need the Ontario Health insurance card, because of my medications and health conditions. I have more going on than just blindness.
I'm beginning to find the whole thing overwhelming. I have depression, and coupled with isolation, blindness, and no family, I'm about as discouraged as you can get.
By the way, what's an op?
I gather it refers to the poster but what's the o stand for?
I'm just frustrated to tears. I can't deal with documentation without assistance. I wish I could live anywhere else but Canada. It's cold emotionally here, the volunteer societies for disabled people are dry wells, so I can't get the help I once might havegotten. I'm starting to stress out bc of my clinical depression, and the challenges just keep piling up on me.
Eugene tells me that there are no old people's homes in West Africa, because families take care of their own. If I didn't need OHIP, I'd ask to go there, because my family never took care of me, and I can't make friends because WheelTrans won't let me out into the community. They say I need an escort and I don't, and I can't find one. It's not that I haven't tried. I've been locked in my apartment for two years. I get phone calls from the distress center to see if I'm ok, and I have 2 friends on the planet, both of whom are also blind, have mental and/or other physical health challenges.
I don't know if I like the common law thing. It's not Biblical, and I try to live by the Bible. I would rather marry than commit fornication, and CIC shouldn't be in the kind of position to force me to do something I think is sinful.
It's not freakin' fair.
I am willing to help Eugene financially, emotionally, and now he is understanding me. The thing is, he's been in Nigeria for days and says the cue lines just to get into the Canadian Embassy are long--like, two weeks' wait. And he wants to be with me now--like flying carpet now, because he sees the challenges I'm going through in the other areas of my life, and he wants to be by me.
And this whole time issue is frustrating, too. Ppl are saying six weeks isn't time enough. Now you know that if I were talking about an African living in Toronto, where I live, and I said we met six weeks ago and were madly in love, what would you say? How blasted long does it take to fall in love? It happens when it happens. Whirlwind courtships are not uncommon. Attraction happens often instantly.
OK, I understand online love and offline love are two different beasts, but so is dating love and married love.
I mean, I read some of the CIC articles, and one of the quicker ways was, if your partner and you were same-sex, and you were afraid of persecution on that basis for your foreign partner.
Well, suppose a born again Christian thinks common law, living together before marriage, is a sin? What, I don't get the same rights to my beliefs like everyone else?
I have to "test drive" him first? Oh, please.
:'(Sorry if I sound like a bear with a sore butt. I'm just overwhelmed with the whole thing, and poor Eugene is trying to get the quickest visa possible, so he's now off to Ghana to the Canadian embassy there.
Canada's so freakin' bureaucratic. If I didn't HAVE to live here, I wouldn't.
Thea

 

[zardoz]

The "O" stands for "Original", basically meaning the person that raised the first post in a thread.

Apart from that, I really have nothing else to add to the discussion, except this...

CIC works to the letter and spirit of the law, as passed by Canadian legislators (IRPA and IRPR), the CIC Operational Manuals and established "case law". *Links provided below*

They are going to process any application based on the requirements that the law states. You are provided with a number of alternative sponsorship eligibility criteria, catering to as many cultural, legal and religious traditions as possible.

If you object to any of those alternatives for personal religious reasons, you have the remaining options. If none of those is possible for whatever reasons, it is not fair to say "Canada's so freakin' bureaucratic".

Links.

IRPA - http://laws-lois.justice.gc.ca/eng/acts/I-2.5/
IRPR - http://laws.justice.gc.ca/eng/regulations/SOR-2002-227/
Operational Manuals - http://www.cic.gc.ca/ENGLISH/RESOURCES/manuals/index.asp
Case Law - https://www.canlii.org/en/ca/

 

[zardoz]

Going back on track... I'm afraid the OP will have a rough go with this sponsorship. There are so many red flags that it will be tough to convince CIC. They have rejected sponsorships for less.

Having read through the last post by the OP, the flags are glowing "scarlet" at the moment.

 

[Ellasg]

I know a few couples who sleep in different bedrooms, guess that's a matter of self-control.

 

[Obronibini]

:'(Who said I was unwilling to live with my spouse?
HE IS NOT my spouse; he's my sweetheart.
And suppose I don't believe in blasted common law marriage. Suppose I think premarital sex is a sin? Do I have to go against my beliefs just to get ther person I love over to Canada?
And what's all this talk about getting sighted friend/family to help with a visit? I thought I'd already made it clear that I don't have family, and I sure as "censored word" don't have the money.
That's why I didn't go to Lome in the first place--because the loan I got was for $2500, and yes, I've sent a good deal of it to him. I've never sent anyone money before. I've said no lots of times, never sent my bank information to so-called people who need to send their money through a Canadian or US bank account.
Eugene Mathias is just one person I can't say no to.
I don't want to hear any more of this "unwilling" business. I can't go to Africa. I don't have the money, and I need the Ontario Health insurance card, because of my medications and health conditions. I have more going on than just blindness.
I'm beginning to find the whole thing overwhelming. I have depression, and coupled with isolation, blindness, and no family, I'm about as discouraged as you can get.
By the way, what's an op?
I gather it refers to the poster but what's the o stand for?
I'm just frustrated to tears. I can't deal with documentation without assistance. I wish I could live anywhere else but Canada. It's cold emotionally here, the volunteer societies for disabled people are dry wells, so I can't get the help I once might havegotten. I'm starting to stress out bc of my clinical depression, and the challenges just keep piling up on me.
Eugene tells me that there are no old people's homes in West Africa, because families take care of their own. If I didn't need OHIP, I'd ask to go there, because my family never took care of me, and I can't make friends because WheelTrans won't let me out into the community. They say I need an escort and I don't, and I can't find one. It's not that I haven't tried. I've been locked in my apartment for two years. I get phone calls from the distress center to see if I'm ok, and I have 2 friends on the planet, both of whom are also blind, have mental and/or other physical health challenges.
I don't know if I like the common law thing. It's not Biblical, and I try to live by the Bible. I would rather marry than commit fornication, and CIC shouldn't be in the kind of position to force me to do something I think is sinful.
It's not freakin' fair.
I am willing to help Eugene financially, emotionally, and now he is understanding me. The thing is, he's been in Nigeria for days and says the cue lines just to get into the Canadian Embassy are long--like, two weeks' wait. And he wants to be with me now--like flying carpet now, because he sees the challenges I'm going through in the other areas of my life, and he wants to be by me.
And this whole time issue is frustrating, too. Ppl are saying six weeks isn't time enough. Now you know that if I were talking about an African living in Toronto, where I live, and I said we met six weeks ago and were madly in love, what would you say? How blasted long does it take to fall in love? It happens when it happens. Whirlwind courtships are not uncommon. Attraction happens often instantly.
OK, I understand online love and offline love are two different beasts, but so is dating love and married love.
I mean, I read some of the CIC articles, and one of the quicker ways was, if your partner and you were same-sex, and you were afraid of persecution on that basis for your foreign partner.
Well, suppose a born again Christian thinks common law, living together before marriage, is a sin? What, I don't get the same rights to my beliefs like everyone else?
I have to "test drive" him first? Oh, please.
:'(Sorry if I sound like a bear with a sore butt. I'm just overwhelmed with the whole thing, and poor Eugene is trying to get the quickest visa possible, so he's now off to Ghana to the Canadian embassy there.
Canada's so freakin' bureaucratic. If I didn't HAVE to live here, I wouldn't.
Thea

I know a few couples who sleep in different bedrooms, guess that's a matter of self-control.

wow you took a loan and a chunk of it is sent to him already ? It appears you are not financially independent yet, why are you taking it so hard on yourself ? Was he not surviving before he met you 6 weeks ago? I know you may hate this but I think you are moving too fast. It different if you met the person in Canada . You have few problems so try not to add to it . Taking a loan and sending it to a guy you've never met can be sucidal . I wish you lived anywhere close to my family in Canada , I am could be willing to have them meet you to help you with any documentation you may need. And trust me Canada has one if the best systems place for disables . Out of 100 % it just one percent or less that are cared for by thier families and there's nothing to aid them write or use computer like you are doing now . Africa and for that matter Togo is one if the worst places for disables. 99 percent of them are often beggers on the streets . Life is difficult for them . Let assume your husband will be willing to be there for you etc , you need to have plans as to how it going to be because it obvious he can't afford to take care of you since he has started to depend on you financially after just six weeks . Take it easy and maybe try to find others like you to socialize more and just take it a day at a time . I can host your husband in Ghana if he ever needs a place to stay whiles he sorts out things with the embassy. To at least save on hotel cost , food etc. just incase he need to sleep over. I don't know what he can posiblily find out at the embassy as everything is on thier website . Nigerians deal with the Ghana embassy so I didn't know they still had an embassy there . Do you meet the requirement to sponsor ? Plz am begging you , no matter the situation your sweetheart is going through take it easy because he was doing ok without you for years . I don't know what reasons he gives you for the money , but time can take care of everything . If you rush you may crush . And hey maybe if you can take it easy a bit you can wait Untill towards the end of the year my wife and son are planning a trip to Ghana , we can work something out. You come to Ghana and your sweetheart can meet you here or we can take you to the boarder since Ghana and Togo shares boarder.you will have enough time to save up money and also gather more evidence of communication to prove your relationship is genuine . This require lots of patience . There's no simple or fastest way to get a visa to Canada . I would have been there by now . You need to prove so much ties to even get visitors visa . I don't know what your man is coming to Ghana for because it useless to me . Every info he needs is online . Unless he's going to file for a visa . Plzz don't be upset I am not judging you or blaming you, I know you know what you are doing , just need to take it easy . Do not go into dept over someone you haven't met yet . If he has the visa already and you are buying him ticket online that fine . You found a way to get a loan when you didn't have the money am sure whatever it is he should be able to find the money too. Sorry but this are just my views . Take a deep breath and take it easy . I tried sending you a private message but it won't let me . Let get talking

 

[on-hold]

On a practical note, the Canadian embassy in Nigeria doesn't cover Togo:

The High Commission of Canada in Abuja offers a number of services to both Canadians and other citizens. In addition, the High Commission covers the countries of Equatorial Guinea and São Tomé and Principe.

Obronibini is right, Eugene should be applying in Ghana. Look, I know you think I'm a jerk and you might be right, but I want you to think about one thing -- the fact that your fiance told you he needed $4,800 to apply for a visa. This is not true, and the fact that he gave you this figure means that there are only three possibilities:

1) a third party told him that and he believed it. If this is the case, then he is an almost unbelievable fool -- people in the developed world are very familiar with the standards and procedures for applying for visas. If he works around a hotel, he has easy access to this kind of information.

2) a third party told him that is what it would cost to get a fake visa, or a forged passport, or something -- if this is the case, he is dishonest.

3) he's cheating you himself.

I agree completely that Canada is a cold and isolating country -- instead of searching for companionship in West Africa, though, have you considered trying to find some sort of pen-pal society in a place where there is good support, like Scandinavia or the Netherlands? It wouldn't surprise me at all if some European countries have more advanced social organizations where you could meet people. These friendships would be more natural than one that is based on an initial advertisement and subsequent money transfers.

 

[Obronibini]

On a practical note, the Canadian embassy in Nigeria doesn't cover Togo:

The High Commission of Canada in Abuja offers a number of services to both Canadians and other citizens. In addition, the High Commission covers the countries of Equatorial Guinea and São Tomé and Principe.

Obronibini is right, Eugene should be applying in Ghana. Look, I know you think I'm a jerk and you might be right, but I want you to think about one thing -- the fact that your fiance told you he needed $4,800 to apply for a visa. This is not true, and the fact that he gave you this figure means that there are only three possibilities:

1) a third party told him that and he believed it. If this is the case, then he is an almost unbelievable fool -- people in the developed world are very familiar with the standards and procedures for applying for visas. If he works around a hotel, he has easy access to this kind of information.

2) a third party told him that is what it would cost to get a fake visa, or a forged passport, or something -- if this is the case, he is dishonest.

3) he's cheating you himself.

I agree completely that Canada is a cold and isolating country -- instead of searching for companionship in West Africa, though, have you considered trying to find some sort of pen-pal society in a place where there is good support, like Scandinavia or the Netherlands? It wouldn't surprise me at all if some European countries have more advanced social organizations where you could meet people. These friendships would be more natural than one that is based on an initial advertisement and subsequent money transfers.

hmm I was just researching . I don't know what he's coming to Ghana to enquire because everything is online . Even with 10,000 dollars it will still be difficult to get visa . Those people in Ghana are called " connection " men they forge document to try to prove that have ties to your country , they can get you bank statement saying you have so much money in your account , they can get you some documents true dubious means . Sending money to a guy within six weeks can be one of the most dangerous things ever. One will wonder how he was surviving without you . At least he didn't die . Even if she send the whole 2500 he can't get visa with that alone . Not even 10k. To travel you need passport then you download the forms , full them out and pay the fees which is cheap. When you are granted visa you pay for your ticket and there you go . I know she may be upset but I sense something's doesn't add up . Anyone in Africa will love a woman who after just six month send him Even 50 dollars a week so much . And make all sort of promises . You can only know what you are told . Unless you spend time with someone they may look or seem all good and innocent . Because that's someone's monthly salary . The op think her problems will be over because Eugene will be there to help her in every means posible since she's alone with no one . So she's trying all she can to get him
There but it doesn't work out like that .!i just pray for the best for the op

 

[on-hold]

Here are some links:

http://togo.usembassy.gov/webwarn.html

These scams vary from advance-fee scenarios where the targeted person is led to believe they can attain something of very great personal value (financial reward, a romantic relationship, etc) in return for a small up-front monetary amount, to e-mail solicitations from strangers who need funds for immediate medical care. The Embassy has also received reports of scams involving the purchase of passports or visas for online friends to come to the United States, and private adoption solicitations.


Apparently Togo has recently become a new centre for Internet scams -- people have become wary of Nigeria.

http://agustinetutut.blogspot.ca/2013/08/african-nation-of-togo-becomes-hotspot.html


And here is web site where you can check the email address you're using, to see if anyone has reported it as the source of a scam.

http://www.romancescam.com/

 

[mikeymyke]

So then tell me, if and when the interviewer asks Eugene, "If we refuse your application, what would you do?" then what will he say? That you will live with him in Africa? But that will be a lie wouldn't it?

 

[kafka khaos]

And suppose I don't believe in blasted common law marriage. Suppose I think premarital sex is a sin? Do I have to go against my beliefs just to get ther person I love over to Canada?

The bible actually recommends it is better to not be married, and especially for divorced women to not get remarried:

1 Corinthians 7

8 Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. 9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

10 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.

And what's all this talk about getting sighted friend/family to help with a visit? I thought I'd already made it clear that I don't have family, and I sure as "censored word" don't have the money.
That's why I didn't go to Lome in the first place--because the loan I got was for $2500, and yes, I've sent a good deal of it to him.

Sounds like a scam to me. Don't send him any more money.

I'm beginning to find the whole thing overwhelming. I have depression, and coupled with isolation, blindness, and no family, I'm about as discouraged as you can get.

Sponsoring someone is a huge undertaking. You don't even qualify to sponor this guy. You've already been told the only way to get this guy to Canada (otherthan faking passports and visas) and it isn't going to be easy.

I'm just frustrated to tears. I can't deal with documentation without assistance. I wish I could live anywhere else but Canada. It's cold emotionally here, the volunteer societies for disabled people are dry wells, so I can't get the help I once might havegotten. I'm starting to stress out bc of my clinical depression, and the challenges just keep piling up on me.

If you go to church then you will find lots of people willing to help you in ever aspect of your life. There are also usually lots of new immigrants at church (or that has been my experience) who actually know the system pretty well. Most Canadians in your church wont know what a "PR" is or which countries are "visa exempt" but the new immigrants will know all that stuff.

Eugene tells me that there are no old people's homes in West Africa, because families take care of their own.

Very true. And the disabled people who don't have a family to take care of them get left on the street to beg or die.

I don't know if I like the common law thing. It's not Biblical, and I try to live by the Bible. I would rather marry than commit fornication, and CIC shouldn't be in the kind of position to force me to do something I think is sinful.
It's not freakin' fair.
I mean, I read some of the CIC articles, and one of the quicker ways was, if your partner and you were same-sex, and you were afraid of persecution on that basis for your foreign partner.
Well, suppose a born again Christian thinks common law, living together before marriage, is a sin? What, I don't get the same rights to my beliefs like everyone else?

Yes the CIC rules on homosexuals are ridiculous. But that's a different discussion.

Life isn't fair. No one is promised anything in this world. Especially not a buff dark-skinned lover from an exotic land. Our own Lord was crucified on a cross in the most painful and humiliating way. You are thinking about Buddhism or something where good things happen to good people and bad things happen to bad people. That's not Christianity. Read the Book of Job. Read the Gospels.

If you are not regularly attending a church i encourage you too. I'm sure friendly church members would be happy to pick you up and drop you off at home if needed. Speak to the pastor/priest about helping you find someone to help you attend. It's really not a big deal.

And lastly, if you read this far, Eugene is scamming you. So continue to enjoy the "lovey dovey chats" if you want, but don't send him a penny more.

 

[Koifish76]

Miss thea, I hope you do take these fellow posters advice which is to be careful. Anytime money is requested before meeting in person, I would suggest knowing the person at least for a lot longer than 6 weeks. I hope you have the strength and courage to make the right decisions, as painful as they seem. God bless you.

 

[Koifish76]

Here are some links:

http://togo.usembassy.gov/webwarn.html

These scams vary from advance-fee scenarios where the targeted person is led to believe they can attain something of very great personal value (financial reward, a romantic relationship, etc) in return for a small up-front monetary amount, to e-mail solicitations from strangers who need funds for immediate medical care. The Embassy has also received reports of scams involving the purchase of passports or visas for online friends to come to the United States, and private adoption solicitations.


Apparently Togo has recently become a new centre for Internet scams -- people have become wary of Nigeria.

http://agustinetutut.blogspot.ca/2013/08/african-nation-of-togo-becomes-hotspot.html


And here is web site where you can check the email address you're using, to see if anyone has reported it as the source of a scam.

http://www.romancescam.com/

:'(. I have done more research myself. It's a shame reading some stories and it happens a lot more than I thought.

 

[Mrs_Canuck]

While this is an old bulletin, the facts are the same and can be found here:
http://www.antifraudcentre-centreantifraude.ca/english/Bulletin%202012-01_Romance%20Scam.html

Generally, Romance scams involve the victim and the fraudster meeting through a social networking site. The fraudster will gain the trust of the victim through displays of affection. While the fraudster is usually located in a far away country, eventually want to meet the victim in person. It is at this time the fraudster will advise they can't afford to travel and will seek assistance from the victim in covering travel cost. Other variations include the fraudster presenting situations of emergency/ urgency, such as a sick family member, and seeking financial assistance from the victim for various costs.

* In a short amount of time that you have known him, figures of money have already been mentioned. Including the amount of a "visitor visa" wherein he "would have come to visit you."


Wiki-how: How to Avoid an Online Romance Scam
http://www.wikihow.com/Avoid-an-Online-Romance-Scam

Stop any and all communication, and report them, if they ask for money for any reason. They often claim they are in the hospital and the doctor will not perform the operation they need until you send them money. They could also say that they're so in love that they need to see you, but they need money to come visit you.

I still feel uncomfortable asking my husband for money. We share bank accounts, and leases, we live together, he is my life partner. Good-hearted people with honest intentions will never suggest or ask for money from you to continue the relationship - especially if you've only known each other for 6 weeks.

All these facts are available to you through a quick google search. All we are imploring you to do is to be smart; do NOT be afraid to ask tough questions. Refuse to give him money and see how he reacts. This is your life, this is your money and the loans are going against you, not him. Have FRIENDS question him and speak with him and do a little digging for you. Be curious, be suspicious until you can prove it otherwise.

Step back and look at this situation as if you were a third-party; look at this as if a friend was in your shoes right now and ask yourself how you would see the situation.

If anything, be frustrated and upset and ask these questions that we are suggesting to prove us wrong about your sweetheart.