CHC, Islamabad Spouse Sponsorship Timeline 2009 -2010

[sabii]

unfortunately i have seen plenty of folks who have married within family and have had massive fights/headaches/sourness/divorces...

your partner truly is a googly, you can make a good guess that how the person will be... but you never know how they will turn out to be...

I think there is no perfect/guaranteed way of finding a top notch partner... its all about luck, ur partner can turn out to be the devil or an angel... however what you can do to decrease the chances of them being evil or increase the chances of them being an angel is by...

1. Do not pick a partner on I WILL CHANGE HIM/HER, this fails massively... and a lot of desi ppl make this very mistake... you cannot change a person for who they are... for example and putting it very bluntly, you can dress up a donkey real nice, but it will remain a donkey... so think hard about their personality, attributes, attitude, traits... make sure they are on par with ur education, work, life style, habbits etc...

2. We all spend our lives 20+ years in a particular way... and somewhere in the back of our heads prefer it to be that way going forward... however, once married you have to realize, you will have to give up somethings, and you will have to adopt a few things, you can't stand out there like a stone and not accept any change, or fights/break ups will occur... the other person wants their space and activities or life style to be carried out a bit too...

3. Respect, Trust, and Honesty + Give a little bit of personal space despite being married, we desi folks are like leeches, and just cling on and want to know every damn bit of detail... take a chill pill, let them be themselves or by themselves for a bit once a while... ignore little stuff...

4. Talk to your partner and be open about things... communicate openly about how and where do you expect to be in your life etc... this helps out believe it or not... we folks dont do this at all... my wife for example at first was like what the hell are you on about... but then she got the idea, and it helped a bit...

5. Do not involve family members into your married life... yes have their blessings and thoughts here or there, but make your decisions with your spouse in mind first...

6. I think we assume (or family pressures/jokes/banters) that once we are married there has to be a baby... NO... just coz you are married it does not mean have a baby right away... discuss with your partner... wouldnt you want to go out for movies/vacation/work/education/etc etc before you go the baby route... dont have a baby for the sake of having a baby, be ready to raise them first... often a lot of marriages break coz couple wasnt really ready to raise a baby...

once you keep these things in mind... you could avoid lot of big headaches...

i told my wife, i am already very happy in my life as it is... and with you coming in to it, i dont want to make a soap opera out of it, i want to be happier... and vice versa... I THINK SHE GOT IT (here is hoping lol)

veryyyyyyyyy true and well said! +1 for you

 

[sabii]

no one knows..........its a surprise

i hopeee it will be a quick surprise..i get it soon InshaAllah

 

[sabii]

2010 Forum people aganist CHC I, staffs.

hahahaha

 

[R.Mujgani]

for u see its most likely remed +ppr

I wish it was bhai, but its more background checking sheets to fill in
the guy told ma husband that they are doing background checks on him n need more information about him being in Kabul and Karachi,,, n he received it todai, so now i have one week to finished it all n send it to ma hubby for signature n he send it to Islamabad


please pray that the next request i get is PPR+REMED
AMEEN

 

[tofan-ram]

FINALL CONCULISON ISS

IS A BIG GAMBLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

JUST PRAY TO ALLAH EVERYDAY DAT U GET D BEST LIFE PARTNER , BOTH LOVE N RESPECT EACH OTHERRRRRRRRR................

thanks everyone for such useful advice... I just analysis and overview everyone comments, but it's seems that it's impossible to predict where you end up because it's difficult to understand someone personality "in my personal opinion" in short period of time..There are many other factors which belind the individual to see the personality and I am sure everyone know what i mean by factors ;D. To understand someone indepth, one must spend time with her/his before moving on,but it's kind of contradicting the Muslim view regarding this....so I am totally agree with you it's a big Gambling......

 

[tofan-ram]

unfortunately i have seen plenty of folks who have married within family and have had massive fights/headaches/sourness/divorces...

your partner truly is a googly, you can make a good guess that how the person will be... but you never know how they will turn out to be...

I think there is no perfect/guaranteed way of finding a top notch partner... its all about luck, ur partner can turn out to be the devil or an angel... however what you can do to decrease the chances of them being evil or increase the chances of them being an angel is by...

1. Do not pick a partner on I WILL CHANGE HIM/HER, this fails massively... and a lot of desi ppl make this very mistake... you cannot change a person for who they are... for example and putting it very bluntly, you can dress up a donkey real nice, but it will remain a donkey... so think hard about their personality, attributes, attitude, traits... make sure they are on par with ur education, work, life style, habbits etc...

2. We all spend our lives 20+ years in a particular way... and somewhere in the back of our heads prefer it to be that way going forward... however, once married you have to realize, you will have to give up somethings, and you will have to adopt a few things, you can't stand out there like a stone and not accept any change, or fights/break ups will occur... the other person wants their space and activities or life style to be carried out a bit too...

3. Respect, Trust, and Honesty + Give a little bit of personal space despite being married, we desi folks are like leeches, and just cling on and want to know every damn bit of detail... take a chill pill, let them be themselves or by themselves for a bit once a while... ignore little stuff...

4. Talk to your partner and be open about things... communicate openly about how and where do you expect to be in your life etc... this helps out believe it or not... we folks dont do this at all... my wife for example at first was like what the hell are you on about... but then she got the idea, and it helped a bit...

5. Do not involve family members into your married life... yes have their blessings and thoughts here or there, but make your decisions with your spouse in mind first...

6. I think we assume (or family pressures/jokes/banters) that once we are married there has to be a baby... NO... just coz you are married it does not mean have a baby right away... discuss with your partner... wouldnt you want to go out for movies/vacation/work/education/etc etc before you go the baby route... dont have a baby for the sake of having a baby, be ready to raise them first... often a lot of marriages break coz couple wasnt really ready to raise a baby...

once you keep these things in mind... you could avoid lot of big headaches...

i told my wife, i am already very happy in my life as it is... and with you coming in to it, i dont want to make a soap opera out of it, i want to be happier... and vice versa... I THINK SHE GOT IT (here is hoping lol)

Amazing points and thanks for you inputs......

 

[tofan-ram]

There are so many theories about marriage; but I will put it in the light of Holy Quraan and Hadith.

1. We have created men and women and made them a `libaas`clothes for each other. Means each spouse would know the weaknesses of the other and they must not bring it in open.

2. You marry someone who is pious `mohsenaat`.

3. At the time of marriage disclose everything without asking; did not ask did not tell is forbidden. This is the same Aaayah which are recited when nikaah is performed.

Hadith:

4. Marry someone who is equal to you. (Marrying too high in status or too low in status can cause problems).

5. Marrying cousins is not preferred.

My Tips:
i. Never fight at night time.. go to bed without any pressure..
ii. Do not criticize your partner, however talk about something you did not like without offending him/her.
iii. Do not hold bad stuff/feelings in the heart, speak-out.. as in the end it may explode big time.
iv. Behave as friends.
v. and raise kids ASAP, kids help couples stay together.

If nothing works and the damage is beyond repair walk away sooner than later. Settle thing amicably; lawyers will rip u apart.

Thanks....It's difficult these days to find someone who really follow his/her believes in contest of Islam....They pretend, use and act for his/her advantage to achieve what they are really looking for.... If everyone follows what's mentioned in Holy Quraan than we wouldn't have such issues which we face these days.....

 

[tofan-ram]

Based on my personal experience and observation, Sab say bahtar life partner woo hay joo ya to ap k realtives may say hoo ya jannay walay jinhain ap 10-15 saal say jantay hoon. Jannay waloon may shadi karnay ka faida ap larki or us kay ghar waloon koo pahlay say jantay hain.

Buhar sari pareeshanion say bach jata hay admi agar loog dakhay bhalay hoon too....Dont think only about the life partner think that you are going to attach a family....

One thing I can say about marriage in a family is that you not marry her/his, but everyone else in the family and i am sure not everyone is prefect in that family......BTW thanks for point

 

[missingmyjaan]

i hopeee it will be a quick surprise..i get it soon InshaAllah

it is indeed the best surprise ever you never know when it can come

 

[emanzaib]

do you have to send a flight itinenery with the passport?

it is indeed the best surprise ever you never know when it can come

 

[missingmyjaan]

do you have to send a flight itinenery with the passport?

nope

 

[emanzaib]

oh ok.. inshallah your hubby with get his PPR back before ramadan

nope

 

[sabii]

oh ok.. inshallah your hubby with get his PPR back before ramadan

yea, and it will be missingmyjan's best Eid ever.....isnt it exciting wowww i am soooo excited for u

 

[missingmyjaan]

yea, and it will be missingmyjan's best Eid ever.....isnt it exciting wowww i am soooo excited for u

alhamdulillah, thank youuuuuuu, im soooo happy
i hope and pray that you and emanzaib get PPRs soooon before ramadan. Ameen.!

 

[emanzaib]

ameen sumameen.. so preparations must be started on your end of hubby's arrival that's really exciting.. enjoy the time.. as the previous months have been very difficult.

alhamdulillah, thank youuuuuuu, im soooo happy
i hope and pray that you and emanzaib get PPRs soooon before ramadan. Ameen.!