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As promised - an update. APPROVED! My spouse recently had their hearing. It took about 45 minutes and the approval was pretty much open and shut with little to no questioning.

HAVE FAITH for anyone else in the same situation, and SCREW YOU to those who discouraged us.
 
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As promised - an update. APPROVED! My spouse recently had their hearing. It took about 45 minutes and the approval was pretty much open and shut with little to no questioning.

HAVE FAITH for anyone else in the same situation, and SCREW YOU to those who discouraged us.

I'm very happy to hear this, for both of you! It took 2+ years but in the end things worked out and that's amazing.

For everyone else reading this - complex cases such as this should ALMOST ALWAYS be referred to a competent lawyer. Don't try and DIY it yourself when your fall outside "normal" immigration applications.

To @ConfusedOntarian - I wish you and your spouse the very best. Welcome to a life free of worrying about immigration hassles :)
 
If the United States and Canada have an agreement, your friend must apply for refugees in the United States if you are in the United States! Marriage and reunion, you guarantee your spouse this is the fastest way!