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Adjusting to life in Canada..

angryrectangle

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Jun 7, 2013
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Hello,

So my husband and I arrived in Canada in December and I have to say it’s been hard! I’d been living outside the country for a while, and it’s the first time for my husband in Canada.

He’s been feeling really frustrated lately due to feeling sort of left out in social situations. He speaks perfect English, but since he’s never lived here before he sometimes feels like we’re talking about things or making jokes that he doesn’t really get. Since we’re spending a lot of time with MY old friends, they’re also often talking to me more than him, as they’ve known me for longer.

As I said he’s feeling a bit down, and a bit socially frustrated.

I feel like it would be a good thing for him to make some of his own friends, or to go out without me.
I’m sure this situation has happened with some of you guys. Any advice? I don’t want him to feel left out every time we go out. :(
 

sohaib1

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Jan 28, 2015
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tell him visit resturants shops etc and talk with people. There are also place where new immgrants to canada go and you have to introduce to yourself. there is a lot out there
 

Sheps

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Apr 29, 2014
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I am not sure where you live, but I know in Winnipeg they have the "Global Welcome Center" to help people adjust and just socialize. Look for places like that where you are, additionally, you might want to check out community centers focused on his culture.

Again, here in Winnipeg, they have the MJCCC (Manitoba Japanese Canadian Community Center) which I used to work right beside. I think there are other places to. My wife is in the same boat and I encourage her to go out and spend time with the friends she made at the University here (she is on a student visa currently, waiting for PR).

The other thing, is it will take time for him to get used to it. Maybe try to get your friends to include him more, or just do the "did you know my husband did X" and see if you can steer the conversation towards something his is interested in. If you have any guy friends, maybe suggest they go out for a drink with your husband (coffee, beer, whatever). He will need to make his own friends, but it will just take time I am afraid.

Is he working right now?
 

Mapleson

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Hello,

I'm a native Canadian, but I've spent a third of my life in other countries. If he doesn't get the cultural references, he can either ask or write it down and look it up later. I've found that people are very friendly and willing to explain their culture, especially when someone is showing a desire to learn.

Besides meeting other immigrants, does your husband have any hobbies?

Beyond all that, winter is a hard time to move here, not because it's cold, but because people spend more time indoors and away from more casual encounters. Whatever your husband likes, there will be a group that has similar interests in your area.

I'm sure if you say where you live, there are a ton of local resources that people will point out to you.

PS: The Library is a great place to meet people!
 

angryrectangle

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Sheps said:
I am not sure where you live, but I know in Winnipeg they have the "Global Welcome Center" to help people adjust and just socialize. Look for places like that where you are, additionally, you might want to check out community centers focused on his culture.

Again, here in Winnipeg, they have the MJCCC (Manitoba Japanese Canadian Community Center) which I used to work right beside. I think there are other places to. My wife is in the same boat and I encourage her to go out and spend time with the friends she made at the University here (she is on a student visa currently, waiting for PR).

The other thing, is it will take time for him to get used to it. Maybe try to get your friends to include him more, or just do the "did you know my husband did X" and see if you can steer the conversation towards something his is interested in. If you have any guy friends, maybe suggest they go out for a drink with your husband (coffee, beer, whatever). He will need to make his own friends, but it will just take time I am afraid.

Is he working right now?
He's not working yet, and I think this is part of the problem. He's going to start working soon, but from home.

I know he likes all my friends and generally has fun with them, and I've been trying to encourage him to go out with them without me. I know it's hard, though, since he feels like they are more my friends than his.

Good ideas, though! I'll try to bring up more stories of his when we're out with other people.

Thanks :)
 

bigredmoose

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What about volunteering somewhere?
 

gsize

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angryrectangle said:
He's not working yet, and I think this is part of the problem. He's going to start working soon, but from home.

I know he likes all my friends and generally has fun with them, and I've been trying to encourage him to go out with them without me. I know it's hard, though, since he feels like they are more my friends than his.

Good ideas, though! I'll try to bring up more stories of his when we're out with other people.

Thanks :)
Best to keep him busy. He can volunteer for now. Maybe take some courses for newer immigrants. Or google 'meet up ' groups He will meet many good people.

Any relationship requires time for adjustment and certainly when its not your culture. Give him time


not sure if working from home is the best idea for you guys. He needs to get out of the house. Best wishes !
 

surleplateau

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Sep 13, 2013
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Look for community centers and/or volunteer organizations where he can participate, join a class, meet other people. Also look into Meetup.com for meetup groups in your area. There's probably one for newcomers.

It's difficult to move somewhere completely different and leave your comfort zone behind. He may even feel a bit of anxiety from the big change. But that's all part of the deal when someone immigrates to a new country. Be gentle and considerate, but do get him out of the house and involved in the community. The worse thing he could do it stay home all day or rely only on you (and your friends) for his social outlet.
 

angryrectangle

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Thanks for all the suggestions, guys!

I've told him that it's a pretty big thing to move half way across the world to a brand new country, and that I think it'll get better/easier with time. I just don't want him to get discouraged in the meantime :)

I also think it's probably better if he started working outside the house.. I don't think being at home all day helps!
 

gsize

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angryrectangle said:
Thanks for all the suggestions, guys!

I've told him that it's a pretty big thing to move half way across the world to a brand new country, and that I think it'll get better/easier with time. I just don't want him to get discouraged in the meantime :)

I also think it's probably better if he started working outside the house.. I don't think being at home all day helps!
it is somewhat normal for new immigrants to have 'ups and downs' It will get easier just keep encouraging him with baby steps. That's what I did, and things are working well for us (arrived 1 year ago)