IELTS - Writing - For Band 7 or Above.

[Hannan Khan]

See, you should start looking at questions logically, you should answer the question directly, it should not be left for the examiner to understand your position, your position must be clear in the essay. Why are you giving the another solution when they are asking for opinion on if cycle is best solution? If it is not explain it why and if you believe it is best solution explain why.

I see your point. I should have probably added one or two lines refuting the claim of bicycles being the best solution.

But look, I don't agree when you say that we cannot present the best option which in my essay was public transport. This is much related to a question I posted to a native IELTS teacher. It was:

If one agrees fully to the opinion essay is it required to write the other side's narrative as well? Or do we just need to support our opinion with 2 ideas in two BPs?

And I quote the teacher here:

"I think the other members have explained it well. Is it required? No. Should you? Probably, depending on your goals & ability. Certainly it's possible to do well in TR just discussing one side; it's certainly easier. If you look in the band descriptors, it talks about supporting and extending "positions“ or " main ideas" up to Band 7. Then it switches to a judging the "response" in band 8. A fully developed response would need to refute the reasons for disagreement".

In a nutshell, if you are aiming for a higher band, it is advisable to mention the side you do not agree with but with a crafty denial. But do I have the same question here? May be not. However, this is what I was thinking while writing this essay. Anyway that's me getting entangled in IELTS tantrums.

Thank you all for your intellectual input.

 

[velocityblood]

I see your point. I should have probably added one or two lines refuting the claim of bicycles being the best solution.

But look, I don't agree when you say that we cannot present the best option which in my essay was public transport. This is much related to a question I posted to a native IELTS teacher. It was:

If one agrees fully to the opinion essay is it required to write the other side's narrative as well? Or do we just need to support our opinion with 2 ideas in two BPs?

And I quote the teacher here:

"I think the other members have explained it well. Is it required? No. Should you? Probably, depending on your goals & ability. Certainly it's possible to do well in TR just discussing one side; it's certainly easier. If you look in the band descriptors, it talks about supporting and extending "positions“ or " main ideas" up to Band 7. Then it switches to a judging the "response" in band 8. A fully developed response would need to refute the reasons for disagreement". My understanding of the essay is, it is two direct questions. I will answer one in each body paragraph. If it was an opinion essay I would need to elaborate the reason behind disagreement or agreement. I would never add a whole body paragraph, just to introduce something, which I am not asked for. Moreover, see the band descriptors below. May be I am wrong but my senses tell me to answer both the questions directly.

Band 8: TR: 1). Sufficiently addresses all parts of the task 2). Presents a well developed response to the question, with relevant, extended and supported ideas.

Band 7: TR: 1). Addresses all parts of the task. 2) Presents a clear position throughout the response. 3). Presents extends a support the main ideas, but there may be tendency to overgeneralize and/or supporting ideas may lack focus.

I don't think that it should be left to the examiner to judge the position.

In a nutshell, if you are aiming for a higher band, it is advisable to mention the side you do not agree with but with a crafty denial. But do I have the same question here? May be not. However, this is what I was thinking while writing this essay. Anyway that's me getting entangled in IELTS tantrums.

Thank you all for your intellectual input.

Thanks Hanan, for enlightenment, this is a healthy discussion and surely I will learn something out of it.

 

[tbamrah]

wow use of Latin, there

but, its little vague, broad, narrow it down a little, so it will put less stress on reader's mind.

TA is not so good.


this is same as para 1, but with better TA,

I see it as REPEAT.



despite, great language, it would end up 6.5, because of messed up TA

Para 1
Police, lawmen, judges, lawyers
bind by oath,
bind by constitution,
constitution treat equally
mistreatment/corruption dealt with serious jail term and fines.


Para 2
Doctors
bind by oath
neglect can cost license, jail term
reputation conscience
considered as next to GOD, or GOD you can meet
illness/injury/accident never discriminate basis on caste/creed/race etc etc

this will present better picture, must re-write this essay.

Thank you, very insightful.Now that I see it, I completely screwed the task achievement.

 

[tbamrah]

@H0peAndFa1th @cansha

Please evaluate this letter.

You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your work.



Write a letter to the shop or company which supplied the equipment .

In your letter

Describe the problem with the equipment

Explain how this problem is affecting your work

Say what you want the shop or company to do.


Dear Sir/Madam,


I am writing this letter to inform you about the malfunctioning of the printer that I purchased from your shop last week.


The printer has been giving me two distinct problems. It skips a line randomly while printing, leaving a blank space, additionally sometimes the ink leaves patches on the paper, rendering the words unable to understand, which is unacceptable in my field of work.


Being a writer for a local TV company, my work-life is getting disturbed by these issues because the scripts get distorted while printing . Although I own a traditional typewriter as well, being out of practice is giving me hard time and I am unable to meet with my deadline.


I would like for you to exchange my faulty product with a new one as it is within the warranty period. My current model is MK201, which I believe is no longer in the market, but an improved MK202 is being sold by the company for the same price, so I recommend that you upgrade it to the improved model.


Thank you for your consideration.

Yours faithfuly,

Ross Gellar

 

[tbamrah]

@H0peAndFa1th @cansha please evaluate this essay. Thanks in advance

In many countries, people are moving away from rural areas and towards urban areas.


Why do you think that is?


What problems can this cause?

Population from under-developed areas are migrating to metropolitan cities in many nations. The primary cause of such kind of attitude is money and the major issue this raises is a stand-still development in their native lands.


Principle motive behind this approach is monetary. As big cities are a central hub for big enterprises, employment opportunities are comparetively more than backward areas. More the opportune a person is, the more he/she can earn, and the more you earn, the more you can spend, hence it indirectly boosts the standard of living as well. According to a recent survey conducted in the national capital of India, it was found that more than 80 percent of the labourers were migrated from their homelands in an attempt to earn more money.


The main issue with this mentality is that it hits the growth of the area that the migrants earlier belonged to. As the working class has moved to a different place, there is nobody to do the jobs and employers are running out of business because they no longer have the man-power to carry out their work. This inturn affects the economy of the land which goes further down with a halt at the development of the area. For example, in India more than 400 vilages and small disctricts are suffering from labour shortage which is directly affecting their gross domestic production.


In conclusion, more and more men and women are settling in a distant, more developed area in many countries, in persuit of opportunies to make more money. The major problem this brings is the development of their states back home is coming to a stop slowly.

 

[velocityblood]

Guys, look at this letter, I think luck is going to be really a factor in the journey of IELTS exam. Despite spelling mistakes, this guy managed to get 7 bands in letter. There is clearly an overuse of the Linking devices and still.... I don't know

https://imgur.com/a/UPNUA5E

 

[velocityblood]

@H0peAndFa1th @cansha @artificial.nocturne

Guys, today I thought of going through some band 7 essays and letters and found this. If writing simple things is so cool? After reading this I am confused what exactly the fuck they want in writing?

Essay topic: Due to availability of mobiles people think that there is no need to go to cinema for movie. Some people say that to enjoy the movie really going to theatre is preferable.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.

I don't see anything from our favorite "The list" here.

https://imgur.com/a/CAhTiZ8

 

[blueshark]

@H0peAndFa1th @cansha @artificial.nocturne

Guys, today I thought of going through some band 7 essays and letters and found this. If writing simple things is so cool? After reading this I am confused what exactly the fuck they want in writing?

Essay topic: Due to availability of mobiles people think that there is no need to go to cinema for movie. Some people say that to enjoy the movie really going to theatre is preferable.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.

I don't see anything from our favorite "The list" here.

https://imgur.com/a/CAhTiZ8

@velocityblood I have on more example of an essay like this. Its in Cambridge English Ielts 11 General Training Book. Test 4, Writing Task 2 . Page no 136.

 

[H0peAndFa1th]

@H0peAndFa1th @cansha @artificial.nocturne

Guys, today I thought of going through some band 7 essays and letters and found this. If writing simple things is so cool? After reading this I am confused what exactly the fuck they want in writing?

Essay topic: Due to availability of mobiles people think that there is no need to go to cinema for movie. Some people say that to enjoy the movie really going to theatre is preferable.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.

I don't see anything from our favorite "The list" here.

https://imgur.com/a/CAhTiZ8

LOL,
do you really think that can fetch 7 ?
with that many "I" in an essay ?
examiner comments are genuine, but write something like that at your own risk,
beside that, many here used to write much better essay than that, but still got 6.5 repeatedly,
why is that ? I wonder,
IELTS is an elaborated scam. << it is run by private companies for profit, ielts is a product, candidates are buyer.
I repeated that many times, that this essay is 7, but examiner will not give it 7.

best of luck, brother, it is a shit show.

 

[velocityblood]

LOL,
do you really think that can fetch 7 ?
with that many "I" in an essay ?
examiner comments are genuine, but write something like that at your own risk,
beside that, many here used to write much better essay than that, but still got 6.5 repeatedly,
why is that ? I wonder,
IELTS is an elaborated scam. << it is run by private companies for profit, ielts is a product, candidates are buyer.
I repeated that many times, that this essay is 7, but examiner will not give it 7.

best of luck, brother, it is a shit show.

Can't imagine, cohesiveness where the fuck is it in this essay and that examiner found the rare vocabulary also? They have given 7 band just to show to students that writing such a bullshit can fetch 7, so that, candidates get attracted to the shit and then the game begins, they award fucking 6 and 6.5.

 

[H0peAndFa1th]

Can't imagine, cohesiveness where the fuck is it in this essay and that examiner found the rare vocabulary also? They have given 7 band just to show to students that writing such a bullshit can fetch 7, so that, candidates get attracted to the shit and then the game begins, they award fucking 6 and 6.5.

if that essay is band 7,
then some of your essays are band 9 , and most of your essays are 8.5

let us settle at 8, that you are not writing any essay less than 8 bands.

when was the last time, you heard of someone getting band 9 in writing ?
or even 8.5
or even 8
or even 7.5

most of us here, who are migrating, files in processing, processed in last 3-4 years,
all had 7 bands in writing, at least 95 to 99 % of them ( I mean more than 90%)

most of us, who are failing are constantly getting 6.5 - Why ?
plus
when other scores are like :
Reading 9 - Listening 9 - Speaking 8.5 - Writing 6.5
Reading 9 - Listening 8.5 - Speaking 8 - Writing 6.5
Reading 9 - Listening 8 - Speaking 7.5 - Writing 6.5

Reading 8.5 - Listening 9 - Speaking 8 - Writing 6.5

you get the picture, It is a shit show

 

[velocityblood]

What would a band 9 essay look like? Anyone having a band 9 essay with real analysis?
Anyone tried this website? Official feedback by Cambridge IELTS examiners
http://ieltsprogresscheck.com/shop-general-training/

 

[akh136]

The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000 there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads.

Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It's no secret that we have seen a significant explosion in the number of cars being used worldwide and it has had its impact on the way world travels. In Britain, for instance, the first car was observed over a century ago, in 1888, and by the turn of the
millennium their number had already crossed 29 million. In this essay, I discuss how we need to incentivize the usage of alternate methods of transportation and how introduction of few international laws can aid this process.

The rapid increase in the number of cars worldwide has also resulted in many adverse effects; pollution and congestion to name a few. A good way to stem this would be to make the public transport more accessible and comfortable for masses. People, in general, tend to use cars because they feel the public transport is not quick enough and doesn't offer the same amount of comfort as private cars do. To overcome this hurdle, many countries now have dedicated corridors for rapid transit systems which allow for speedy commute. However, a lot of such systems go unutilized due to their high cost or limited routes. If these two problems can be looked into, a good number of people will start using public transport. This will not only result into less pollution as a metro, for instance, can accommodate hundreds of people at a time whereas it would require tens of cars to do the same but also reduce congestion considerably.

Another way to curtail the growth in number of cars would be to enforce international laws. A study published in NY Times stated how the developed nations , in spite of their low population, have more number of cars as compared to developing and highly populous countries such as India or China. International laws should be introduced to limit the production of cars in a country in accordance to its population. Laws can also be placed to ensure the transfer of technology so that poorer nations can build efficient rapid transport systems.

In conclusion, it can be said that developing the public transport infrastructure and enforcement of certain laws to curb the production of cars and allow for sharing of technology can go a long way in ensuring that people start using alternate methods of transportation.


@H0peAndFa1th @cansha @artificial.nocturne
Please share your review guys. My second essay, still trying to figure out correct structures for different kind of essay questions. Your inputs are needed.

 

[marosa]

What would a band 9 essay look like? Anyone having a band 9 essay with real analysis?
Anyone tried this website? Official feedback by Cambridge IELTS examiners
http://ieltsprogresscheck.com/shop-general-training/

I assume it's meaningless to target band 9.

 

[velocityblood]

I assume it's meaningless to target band 9.

Agree bro, but many who are targeting for 7 are ending getting 6/6.5 except a few like @H0peAndFa1th (though I believe in his recent attempts he targeted more than 7) so better to target more.