My husband recently passed away, and I cannot afford sponsorship

[CanadaStrong1981]

My husband and I sponsored his mother and father last year. We understood the terms of 10 years, that we were financially responsible. They both live with us, even though it is very cramped and we haven't much income. My husband passed away 6 months ago, and he was the breadwinner. I work, but I do not earn as much. We have 3 children under 12 and we will need to move, as we cannot afford our current home without his income.

I can barely feed my 3 children on a reduced income.. I cant continue supporting 2 more grown adults, who are in their late 60's (and not working). We have never been on the best terms, and since my husbands death, it has been rough.

What are my options? I am certain that my in-laws would seek refuge with the welfare system if we move to a smaller house without private accommodations for them (we currently have a small guest apartment in the basement for them). I am looking at a 3 bedroom houses, as it is what i can afford on my salaries.

If they do leave and get assistance, my children and I would be homeless and forever in debt.

Has anyone else been in this situation? Is there a way to "un-sponsor" someone?

 

[scylla]

My husband and I sponsored his mother and father last year. We understood the terms of 10 years, that we were financially responsible. They both live with us, even though it is very cramped and we haven't much income. My husband passed away 6 months ago, and he was the breadwinner. I work, but I do not earn as much. We have 3 children under 12 and we will need to move, as we cannot afford our current home without his income.

I can barely feed my 3 children on a reduced income.. I cant continue supporting 2 more grown adults, who are in their late 60's (and not working). We have never been on the best terms, and since my husbands death, it has been rough.

What are my options? I am certain that my in-laws would seek refuge with the welfare system if we move to a smaller house without private accommodations for them (we currently have a small guest apartment in the basement for them). I am looking at a 3 bedroom houses, as it is what i can afford on my salaries.

If they do leave and get assistance, my children and I would be homeless and forever in debt.

Has anyone else been in this situation? Is there a way to "un-sponsor" someone?

Did you co-sign the application? Or did your husband sponsor them on his own?

Unfortunately it is not possible to un-sponsor someone. If you were a co-sponsor, then you are unfortunately financially responsible for them for 20 years from the time of landing (or possibly 10 years depending on when the application was submitted).

 

[CanadaStrong1981]

I am a co-signer. Our agreement was for 10 years, not 20.

What will happen if I have nothing to give? A single mother of 3 cannot support 7...

Please help us.

 

[Sharukh khan]

I am a co-signer. Our agreement was for 10 years, not 20.

What will happen if I have nothing to give? A single mother of 3 cannot support 7...

Please help us.

Im really sorry to hear that But just ask yourself
Would you leave them alone if they were your parents thanks

 

[CanadaStrong1981]

Im really sorry to hear that But just ask yourself
Would you leave them alone if they were your parents thanks

Yes, this is something that I struggle with. I do not have parents, so I find it hard to relate. I wish to think that if I had parents, they would assist and support their daughter in this time of her life. Get jobs, assist with childcare and chores. As it is I am the only one working, cooking, cleaning, and being the only child-care. Its so much, and they are so hard on me. Complaining constantly, and making me feel unworthy and not good enough. Its abusive..

 

[canuck78]

You need to have a frank discussion about your finances and your inability to support them. This is exactly why I caution people when sponsoring parents. It can be a very large financial commitment. Children should learn from this example and talk to their parents about the financial aspects of sponsorship and plans if it becomes unaffordable.

 

[scylla]

I am a co-signer. Our agreement was for 10 years, not 20.

What will happen if I have nothing to give? A single mother of 3 cannot support 7...

Please help us.

Unfortunately there's no way to get out of the financial obligation. It's legally binding.

It may make sense to sit down with a lawyer now to find out what will happen if they go on welfare and you do not have the funds to pay this money back to the government. There may be a way to defer the repayment to a later day if you have insufficient income.

This is going to make be sound like a bad person - but I will say it all the same since it sounds like you are in a bad situation, the grandparents are behaving very badly and you need to get some control back in this relationship. Are they close to your children (their grandchildren)? Is it important to them that they see them? If so, then once you are no longer all living together, you could let them know that they will need to support themselves either through working or through their own savings - and that they cannot rely on welfare. Although you'll no longer be living together, you will be happy to visit them so that they can see their grandchildren - but if they go on welfare this will no longer be possible.

 

[CanadaStrong1981]

Unfortunately there's no way to get out of the financial obligation. It's legally binding.

It may make sense to sit down with a lawyer now to find out what will happen if they go on welfare and you do not have the funds to pay this money back to the government. There may be a way to defer the repayment to a later day if you have insufficient income.

This is going to make be sound like a bad person - but I will say it all the same since it sounds like you are in a bad situation, the grandparents are behaving very badly and you need to get some control back in this relationship. Are they close to your children (their grandchildren)? Is it important to them that they see them? If so, then once you are no longer all living together, you could let them know that they will need to support themselves either through working or through their own savings - and that they cannot rely on welfare. Although you'll no longer be living together, you will be happy to visit them so that they can see their grandchildren - but if they go on welfare this will no longer be possible.

Yes, they only have a relationship with our youngest.. as they were only here for that child. Strange mean people.
I will have to wait and see.. This is bad news for me.

 

[CanadaStrong1981]

You need to have a frank discussion about your finances and your inability to support them. This is exactly why I caution people when sponsoring parents. It can be a very large financial commitment. Children should learn from this example and talk to their parents about the financial aspects of sponsorship and plans if it becomes unaffordable.

I have had many conversations with them about money, as did my husband when he was still with us.
I was looking for answers regarding withdrawing sponsorship, if they go on assistance. I can and will support them in house, however I cant afford to do so out of house.

 

[canuck_in_uk]

I am a co-signer. Our agreement was for 10 years, not 20.

What will happen if I have nothing to give? A single mother of 3 cannot support 7...

Please help us.

As explained above, it is legally binding and there is no cancellation.

If your in-laws claim welfare and you cannot afford to pay it all back at once, the government will simply take repayments from you in smaller amounts over a longer period of time.

 

[zardoz]

I have had many conversations with them about money, as did my husband when he was still with us.
I was looking for answers regarding withdrawing sponsorship, if they go on assistance. I can and will support them in house, however I cant afford to do so out of house.

Sorry to bring this up, but it's possible that this might also affect your ability to access welfare. You need to get some professional advice.

 

[canuck78]

If you in-laws are left with only welfare payments they may discover that they can’t survive and they may return home. I am sorry about your loss. Does your husband have any siblings? Perhaps they could consider caring for them. Have you approached them yet and explained that financially you are struggling to support your children. Do you attend church, mosque, temple, etc.? Perhaps a faith leader could provide support for you and help you approach your in-laws.