IELTS - Writing - For Band 7 or Above.
- Thread starter H0peAndFa1th
- Start date
apart from the second line "write from your heart .... " agree 100% with the rest. Agree 50% with the second lineIELTS does has some peculiarities in terms of how the introduction should be for example. So need to use some brain with the heart
Lol. I agree...very difficult to find the balance, at least to me.
Thanks to Priteesh for this real exam topic. Picking it up from there, @cansha - can you please review this when you get a chance?
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Shopping is the favorite pastime for most of the young people. Why do you think is that?
Do you think they should be encouraged to do some useful activities in their free time?
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Shopping has become an integral part of our life. Young people are more attracted to this than older generation and it has almost become their favorite hobby. While there are many reasons attributed to this drift, such as increased spending habit and peer influences, some people believe that they should be encouraged to spend their time wisely in other useful activities which I completely agree because time is the most precious thing in the world.
For one thing, the increased spending habit is one of the main reasons for this addiction towards shopping in our society. Comparing to the past, there are many job opportunities available in the market and most of them are ready to pay multi-folded package than usual. Our young people are now with handful of money not knowing when, where and how to spend. Moreover, they are easily getting influenced by their peers who might be doing window shopping almost every week, for no reasons. The recent survey conducted by SurveyMonkey.com on Bayshore Shopping Mall business in Kanata city, indicates that majority of their sales are coming from youngsters who might have just started their career this year.
Having said that, some people argue that our young society needs to be diverted and encouraged to spend their free time in more better and useful ways. I strongly agree with that, because the only thing that cannot be retrieved back is “the time”. Instead of spending time in shopping malls, we should encourage them to involve in physical activities such as sports and games or even honing their skill sets that can help in their career. For instance, for those in the software field, can spend their time in learning Artificial Intelligence which is growing very fast in today’s market.
In conclusion, while it is true that young people are getting attracted towards frequent shopping, they should be encouraged to spend their free times more wisely on activities that could help them to lead a more comfortable and healthy life.
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Shopping is the favorite pastime for most of the young people. Why do you think is that?
Do you think they should be encouraged to do some useful activities in their free time?
----------------------------------------------------------
Shopping has become an integral part of our life. Young people are more attracted to this than older generation and it has almost become their favorite hobby. While there are many reasons attributed to this drift, such as increased spending habit and peer influences, some people believe that they should be encouraged to spend their time wisely in other useful activities which I completely agree because time is the most precious thing in the world.
For one thing, the increased spending habit is one of the main reasons for this addiction towards shopping in our society. Comparing to the past, there are many job opportunities available in the market and most of them are ready to pay multi-folded package than usual. Our young people are now with handful of money not knowing when, where and how to spend. Moreover, they are easily getting influenced by their peers who might be doing window shopping almost every week, for no reasons. The recent survey conducted by SurveyMonkey.com on Bayshore Shopping Mall business in Kanata city, indicates that majority of their sales are coming from youngsters who might have just started their career this year.
Having said that, some people argue that our young society needs to be diverted and encouraged to spend their free time in more better and useful ways. I strongly agree with that, because the only thing that cannot be retrieved back is “the time”. Instead of spending time in shopping malls, we should encourage them to involve in physical activities such as sports and games or even honing their skill sets that can help in their career. For instance, for those in the software field, can spend their time in learning Artificial Intelligence which is growing very fast in today’s market.
In conclusion, while it is true that young people are getting attracted towards frequent shopping, they should be encouraged to spend their free times more wisely on activities that could help them to lead a more comfortable and healthy life.
Task 1 review request :
Q) You have just spent a week with a friend on holiday. When you got home, you realised you had left your wallet there.
Write a letter to your friend. In that letter:
-thank your friend for the holiday
-explain that you left your wallet in their house
-give them instructions on how to send it back to you
Ans)
Dear Gagan,
I wanted to once again thank you for the amazing trip we took to Switzerland together. It was a beautiful place and I had a lot of fun
visiting the various museums and trekking on the hills. However, I believe I left my wallet there.
We were at your house when I had taken my wallet out to show you some pictures of my kids. I think I placed the wallet on top of the little cupboard near the television when I took the pictures out, and then forgot to pick it back up.
Could I ask you to send it back to me? I believe you already have my home address, and the easiest way would be for you to courier it to me at that address. You can let me know the courier charges and I will reimburse you as soon as possible.
I'd be thankful if you could do this for me.
Yours truly,
Abhishek
Q) You have just spent a week with a friend on holiday. When you got home, you realised you had left your wallet there.
Write a letter to your friend. In that letter:
-thank your friend for the holiday
-explain that you left your wallet in their house
-give them instructions on how to send it back to you
Ans)
Dear Gagan,
I wanted to once again thank you for the amazing trip we took to Switzerland together. It was a beautiful place and I had a lot of fun
visiting the various museums and trekking on the hills. However, I believe I left my wallet there.
We were at your house when I had taken my wallet out to show you some pictures of my kids. I think I placed the wallet on top of the little cupboard near the television when I took the pictures out, and then forgot to pick it back up.
Could I ask you to send it back to me? I believe you already have my home address, and the easiest way would be for you to courier it to me at that address. You can let me know the courier charges and I will reimburse you as soon as possible.
I'd be thankful if you could do this for me.
Yours truly,
Abhishek
@H0peAndFa1th & @cansha
Please review. Thank you in advance
Money spend on marriages is increasing day by day. While some critic argue that such spending are crucial for expanding social networking, others disagree and feels that money should be spend more effectively. Personally, I am in agreement with latter statement.
On the one hand, it is evident that wedding parties are a perfect platform to grow your social networking. Thus, organising big marriage parties often attract some of the well-known personalities of the societies. This, in turn will help to build new relationship, which can lead to new business opportunities. For instance, a recent case study has revealed that such parties have resulted in two in ten of the biggest construction joint venture in Britain since 1995. Hence, it is understandable why many are opting to spend a huge portion of their wealth on marriages.
On the other hand, world is suffering from various social and environmental issues which require huge funding to eradicate them. Although, governments around the globe are allocating budget to tackle these problem, it is not yielding desired result and rate of progress is very slow. Therefore, it is important that individuals also contribute towards this. History also shows us the same, which is why all religion in the world prioritise charity as an important aspect of it. So, it is vital that people use their money for a reasonable case.
To sum up, despite the fact that huge money spend on marriages can result in more opportunities, which can lead to making even more money, I believe people should use money for better causes.
Please review. Thank you in advance
Money spend on marriages is increasing day by day. While some critic argue that such spending are crucial for expanding social networking, others disagree and feels that money should be spend more effectively. Personally, I am in agreement with latter statement.
On the one hand, it is evident that wedding parties are a perfect platform to grow your social networking. Thus, organising big marriage parties often attract some of the well-known personalities of the societies. This, in turn will help to build new relationship, which can lead to new business opportunities. For instance, a recent case study has revealed that such parties have resulted in two in ten of the biggest construction joint venture in Britain since 1995. Hence, it is understandable why many are opting to spend a huge portion of their wealth on marriages.
On the other hand, world is suffering from various social and environmental issues which require huge funding to eradicate them. Although, governments around the globe are allocating budget to tackle these problem, it is not yielding desired result and rate of progress is very slow. Therefore, it is important that individuals also contribute towards this. History also shows us the same, which is why all religion in the world prioritise charity as an important aspect of it. So, it is vital that people use their money for a reasonable case.
To sum up, despite the fact that huge money spend on marriages can result in more opportunities, which can lead to making even more money, I believe people should use money for better causes.
Hi all
can you guys help me to check on this essay if you have a time
Scientists agree that many people are eating too much junk food and it is damaging their health. Some people think that this problems can be solved by educating people to eat less junk food. Other people believe that education will not work.
Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion.
Fast food consumption is one of the factors that may cause health problems to individuals according to scholars. While some people think that education may not help in reducing the amount of junk food people eat. I believe it is the key to help people eat healthier diet.
On the one hand, educating people will result in raising their awareness. By informing them about the junk food bad ingredients and reservation items added to those meals, a lot of people will think twice before purchasing it. For example, health authorities in Dubai sponsored an ad campaign, which told the viewers about the drawbacks of junk foods such as obesity, as a result many citizens stopped going to the fast food chains. Not only that, but education will teach parents and gurdians how to prepare a healthy meals, which will also reduce the junk food consumption.
On the other hand, those who consider that education is not a solution, argue that other measures might be needed to tackle this problem. Firstly, authorities have to reduce the number of fast food outlets in each community. As a result people will minimize their visits to such restaurants. Moreover, governments and businesses should work together to provide fresh organic meals at an affordable price, which helps in lowering people dependency on junk food.
In conclusion, although other measures might assist in tackling this problem, I believe that education is vital to reduce junk food consumption, because well informed individuals can take the actions to limit their fast food intake.
can you guys help me to check on this essay if you have a time
Scientists agree that many people are eating too much junk food and it is damaging their health. Some people think that this problems can be solved by educating people to eat less junk food. Other people believe that education will not work.
Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion.
Fast food consumption is one of the factors that may cause health problems to individuals according to scholars. While some people think that education may not help in reducing the amount of junk food people eat. I believe it is the key to help people eat healthier diet.
On the one hand, educating people will result in raising their awareness. By informing them about the junk food bad ingredients and reservation items added to those meals, a lot of people will think twice before purchasing it. For example, health authorities in Dubai sponsored an ad campaign, which told the viewers about the drawbacks of junk foods such as obesity, as a result many citizens stopped going to the fast food chains. Not only that, but education will teach parents and gurdians how to prepare a healthy meals, which will also reduce the junk food consumption.
On the other hand, those who consider that education is not a solution, argue that other measures might be needed to tackle this problem. Firstly, authorities have to reduce the number of fast food outlets in each community. As a result people will minimize their visits to such restaurants. Moreover, governments and businesses should work together to provide fresh organic meals at an affordable price, which helps in lowering people dependency on junk food.
In conclusion, although other measures might assist in tackling this problem, I believe that education is vital to reduce junk food consumption, because well informed individuals can take the actions to limit their fast food intake.
Actually the last part of the reading section was senseless.. many options can fit in anywhere. There were many general option and anyone can fit in.. I have scored 9 thrice.. and read English all my life. and suddenly these guys have rated me 6.5. I am furious. This system is a fake and a scam to snatch money from people
Good things are your English and Grammar has no issues. Rest suggestions are above. Also, read other essays and work on your phrasing. The last line though good is a bit difficult to read in first go.
For one thing, the increased spending habit is one of the main reasons for this addiction (seriously that bad eh? Don't like this word here) towards shopping in our society. (Now society) Agree with the points don't like the phrasing. Firstly, 'for one thing" is breaking your flow. Come straight to point unless the opening phrase adds to your flow.
Comparing to the past, there are many job opportunities available in the market and most of them are ready to pay multi-folded package than usual.
Like the argument here
Our young people (Don't like phrases like these) are now with handful of money not knowing when, where and how to spend. Why do you use phrases like our young people and all. Sounds like a senior person / parent complaining. This is an essay. It sounds preachy in my opinion. You are writing an essay and not a social commentary. This sentence sounds so judgemental like oh look at these young people they don't know what they are doing? Personally, I think such uses should be avoided. You can disagree.
Moreover, they are easily getting get influenced by their peers who might be doing window shopping almost every week, for no reasons. Google window shopping. It doesn't entail spending money. So not so bad thing
The recent survey conducted by SurveyMonkey.com on Bayshore Shopping Mall business in Kanata city, indicates that majority of their sales are coming from youngsters who might have just started their career this year.
I agree with the points but not the word choices and phrasing. I think your message is being muddled because of that.
See last two lines had some substance. Now imagine the point in the third line is actually in the opening line. Then you spend one line on benefits of sports and then one line on honing skills for future. Or may be one line on hobbys etc. Do you think that will be a better para? Right now first two lines are words with no value add to your essay apart from word count.
Weak conclusion!
Overall, I don't see any issues with language usage or Grammar. But, the task response is not coherent and concise. Again, you have good points but I don't know why you are not spending time in explaining those points in better detail. I think you can write much better than this. Please spend some time organize your thoughts and think about task response. Trust me if you nail down task response rest of the criteria take care of themselves.
All the best!
@cansha and everyone. Please feedback for below essay.
MANY WORKING PEOPLE GET LITTLE OR NO EXERCISE WHETHER DURING THE WORKDAY OR IN THEIR FREE TIME, AND HAVE HEALTH PROBLEMS AS A RESULT.
WHY DO MANY WORKING PEOPLE NOT GET ENOUGH EXERCISE?
WHAT CAN BE DONE ABOUT THIS PROBLEM?
A large number of employees lack enough exercise, which is considered to be main cause for health issues. Although hectic work schedule is cited as main reason while there are numerous solutions that need to be implemented to tackle these health issues.
One of the primary reason for lack of sufficient exercise is the busy life style. Nowadays, many people, lead a sedentary lifestyle by sitting in front of computer for long hours. Also, they do spend lot of time sitting in cab to commute to their offices. So they hardly find leisure time to devote to their health. Me and my wife, for instance, spend atleast 10 hours in office everyday, inspite of taking care of our child and doing household chore. Secondly, lack of awareness is another major reason. People do not realize the importance of exercise until they experience an health issue.
However, these issues can be circumvent by adopting to healthy life style. One can allocate just 30 minutes in his day and do intense workout. Secondly, employers should conduct awareness sessions for their employees, encourage sports and organize sports competition among their workers. For example, Rolls- Royce, an organization conducts physical stretches to their employees from their work station every one hour and found that there is substantial effect like weight and cholesterol reduction in obese employees.
To conclude, sedentary life style is the main culprit for many health issues so One has to devote atleast half an hour everyday for intense physical work out to circumvent these health issues.
MANY WORKING PEOPLE GET LITTLE OR NO EXERCISE WHETHER DURING THE WORKDAY OR IN THEIR FREE TIME, AND HAVE HEALTH PROBLEMS AS A RESULT.
WHY DO MANY WORKING PEOPLE NOT GET ENOUGH EXERCISE?
WHAT CAN BE DONE ABOUT THIS PROBLEM?
A large number of employees lack enough exercise, which is considered to be main cause for health issues. Although hectic work schedule is cited as main reason while there are numerous solutions that need to be implemented to tackle these health issues.
One of the primary reason for lack of sufficient exercise is the busy life style. Nowadays, many people, lead a sedentary lifestyle by sitting in front of computer for long hours. Also, they do spend lot of time sitting in cab to commute to their offices. So they hardly find leisure time to devote to their health. Me and my wife, for instance, spend atleast 10 hours in office everyday, inspite of taking care of our child and doing household chore. Secondly, lack of awareness is another major reason. People do not realize the importance of exercise until they experience an health issue.
However, these issues can be circumvent by adopting to healthy life style. One can allocate just 30 minutes in his day and do intense workout. Secondly, employers should conduct awareness sessions for their employees, encourage sports and organize sports competition among their workers. For example, Rolls- Royce, an organization conducts physical stretches to their employees from their work station every one hour and found that there is substantial effect like weight and cholesterol reduction in obese employees.
To conclude, sedentary life style is the main culprit for many health issues so One has to devote atleast half an hour everyday for intense physical work out to circumvent these health issues.
Some people believe that it is important to spend money on big wedding parties. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Thank you @cansha . I agree with all your comments, very valid and makes more sense when I read the essay again. For some reason, I am just "filling" the essay and I am finding myself doing the same thing even in talking these days. I need to learn on making crisp and concise points. I don't know how on earth I am gonna PLAN it all under exam conditions.
Hi @cansha and @H0peAndFa1th,
Can you please evaluate this and suggest me some mistakes which I need to improve.
Some people believe that it is important to spend money on big wedding parties. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Although spending enormous money on lavish marriage parties believed to be essential in this modern world, there are others who do not agree with this. In my opinion, instead of wasting money on expensive wedding celebrations, people should save it for their financially stable future.
It is considered that large wedding parties often require the considerable amount of money which could have been used in securing the future and I agree. If most of their wealth has been utilized in celebrating their wedding events, they can face diverse financial crises in the situations, such as uncertain deadly diseases, accidents and losing a job. Moreover, some couples tend to plan their family and have a child just after a few years of marriage, so if they have saved enough money, instead of spending on a wedding reception, expenses of child care and education would not be the issue for them, and they can easily live their stable life.
However, some think that huge marriage celebration is crucial for them since such events mostly come once in a lifetime. This is why they prefer to make their relatives, friends and family members happy by throwing lavish parties on this memorable day. In addition to this, it is also thought that social respect can be gained when individuals invite their peers to celebrate their happiest moment of the life. This can be exemplified by the eastern countries, such as India, where couples generally spend millions of rupees on their wedding receptions.
To summarize, while people may vary in their views, I believe that preserving money rather than spending on huge marriage celebrations stand a better chance for the trouble-free future.
277 Words
Thanks,
Can you please evaluate this and suggest me some mistakes which I need to improve.
Some people believe that it is important to spend money on big wedding parties. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Although spending enormous money on lavish marriage parties believed to be essential in this modern world, there are others who do not agree with this. In my opinion, instead of wasting money on expensive wedding celebrations, people should save it for their financially stable future.
It is considered that large wedding parties often require the considerable amount of money which could have been used in securing the future and I agree. If most of their wealth has been utilized in celebrating their wedding events, they can face diverse financial crises in the situations, such as uncertain deadly diseases, accidents and losing a job. Moreover, some couples tend to plan their family and have a child just after a few years of marriage, so if they have saved enough money, instead of spending on a wedding reception, expenses of child care and education would not be the issue for them, and they can easily live their stable life.
However, some think that huge marriage celebration is crucial for them since such events mostly come once in a lifetime. This is why they prefer to make their relatives, friends and family members happy by throwing lavish parties on this memorable day. In addition to this, it is also thought that social respect can be gained when individuals invite their peers to celebrate their happiest moment of the life. This can be exemplified by the eastern countries, such as India, where couples generally spend millions of rupees on their wedding receptions.
To summarize, while people may vary in their views, I believe that preserving money rather than spending on huge marriage celebrations stand a better chance for the trouble-free future.
277 Words
Thanks,
Last edited:
Don’t worry. It will happen. Its a very common thing. We do it subconsciously. I did it when I was preparing. Many others on this forum. Eventually many of us figured it out. All that matters is focus. I have said this many times before in this forum but will say it here again. The key to writing is not writing essays again and again for practice. Its important to understand the task response. So spend time reading first and then just spend time learning to Organize thoughts. And once you have done that do not time yourself for first few essays. We use fillers when we are underprepared and we want to wrote an essay with a clock over our head. Its a natural reaction to make sure at least we complete the word count. You have an advantage. You don’t seem to have any grammar issues. All the best!
@cansha & @H0peAndFa1th
Please review
Many people think that it is important to spend a lot of money for wedding celebrations. Other Disagree. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
Money spend on marriages is increasing day by day. While some critic argue that such spending are crucial for expanding social networking, others disagree and feels that money should be spend more effectively. Personally, I am in agreement with latter statement.
On the one hand, it is evident that wedding parties are a perfect platform to grow your social networking. Thus, organising big marriage parties often attract some of the well-known personalities of the societies. This, in turn will help to build new relationship, which can lead to new business opportunities. For instance, a recent case study has revealed that such parties have resulted in two in ten of the biggest construction joint venture in Britain since 1995. Hence, it is understandable why many are opting to spend a huge portion of their wealth on marriages.
On the other hand, world is suffering from various social and environmental issues which require huge funding to eradicate them. Although, governments around the globe are allocating budget to tackle these problem, it is not yielding desired result and rate of progress is very slow. Therefore, it is important that individuals also contribute towards this. History also shows us the same, which is why all religion in the world prioritise charity as an important aspect of it. So, it is vital that people use their money for a reasonable case.
To sum up, despite the fact that huge money spend on marriages can result in more opportunities, which can lead to making even more money, I believe people should use money for better causes.
Please review
Many people think that it is important to spend a lot of money for wedding celebrations. Other Disagree. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
Money spend on marriages is increasing day by day. While some critic argue that such spending are crucial for expanding social networking, others disagree and feels that money should be spend more effectively. Personally, I am in agreement with latter statement.
On the one hand, it is evident that wedding parties are a perfect platform to grow your social networking. Thus, organising big marriage parties often attract some of the well-known personalities of the societies. This, in turn will help to build new relationship, which can lead to new business opportunities. For instance, a recent case study has revealed that such parties have resulted in two in ten of the biggest construction joint venture in Britain since 1995. Hence, it is understandable why many are opting to spend a huge portion of their wealth on marriages.
On the other hand, world is suffering from various social and environmental issues which require huge funding to eradicate them. Although, governments around the globe are allocating budget to tackle these problem, it is not yielding desired result and rate of progress is very slow. Therefore, it is important that individuals also contribute towards this. History also shows us the same, which is why all religion in the world prioritise charity as an important aspect of it. So, it is vital that people use their money for a reasonable case.
To sum up, despite the fact that huge money spend on marriages can result in more opportunities, which can lead to making even more money, I believe people should use money for better causes.
