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Live In Caregivers! Know your rights!

lucybear05

Star Member
Mar 17, 2012
105
3
These kinds of posts make me sad. We have a live-in caregiver. We try to treat her very fairly. I HOPE we do that. But when I read posts like this it makes me wonder what she really thinks of us. These kinds of posts make me wonder if all live-in caregivers secretly hate their employers. I don't want a caregiver who hates me and resents me. Ugh, this just makes me feel awful about the whole system, and want to hire a Canadian instead or put my child in daycare.

I obviously think it's appalling if employers ask their caregiver to work but do not pay them, or make them works tons of overtime, etc. But honestly, not all employers are like that, and I feel like there is a serious, sweeping hatred by caregivers of all employers. That's how I read so many of these posts anyway.

And I find it interesting the complaints about overtime. After following this board, I am now totally paranoid about giving my nanny extra hours. When she started with us, the agreement was that she would work 10 hour days (with fully paid breaks), 5 days per week. She was happy with that, though she made a couple of comments about "oh, my previous employer have me more hours". But I didn't want to offer more hours, because I was paranoid I would be seen as an employer "demanding" that she work a ton of hours. So we stayed at 10 hours per day/50 hours per week. My son naps for 2.5 hours every afternoon. I have only one child. She has been told to take a lengthy break during that time, and then use the rest of the time to do light housekeeping and laundry. So I think that sounds fair, and she seemed happy with that agreement. We get home at 530 every evening to relieve her and take our child. She is supposed to be done at 530 every day. Nonetheless, she REGULARLY works 30 minutes to up to 2 hours after that, cleaning or doing laundry of whatever, and then charges us. When we told her we were worried she was working so hard, she said she had to work that much to get everything done. I told her she doesn't need to do laundry every 5 days, and she doesn't need to clean the whole house top to bottom every week. I have repeatedly told her not to worry about cleaning too much, and things can always get done another day, and just relax. But she doesn't seem to listen. Now, we live in a tiny house. We have one child. We have one bathroom for our use, and the other bathroom is totally hers and we never use it. We have a tiny little kitchen. She doesn't cook or grocery shop (other than to make lunch for my son, and every now and then I will ask her to chop some vegetables or something).

But since so many people on this board complain about how evil employers are, I thought to myself "Oh, well she needs the time, and she is stressed out about not getting everything done, so I guess if she insists she wants to work longer, she can." So low and behold, she charges us probably 55 hours per week. And this week, she said she wanted to go to service canada to ask about her SIN card. I said sure, which day. She chose a day and I made other childcare arrangements so she could go. She took 2 hours off that morning and went out to a service canada office. Well, sure enough, the night just before that, she suddenly had so much cleaning to do, that she worked 2.5 hours extra. Coincidence? I don't think so. So by Tuesday end of day, she had scrubbed the whole house and done every bit of laundry. I ask myself, "what else is she going to do during her 2.5 hour nap-breaks for the rest of the week?" There isn't anything else to do for the week. So I presume she is taking like a 2 hour break, with pay.

Now, I don't complain. I let her do that. I pay her more than I want to or planned to pay for a nanny. She takes whatever hours she wants, and we pay her for them. I don't question it.

Sorry for the rant, but the bottom line is this. I don't think live-in caregivers are all poor, down-trodden, vulnerable and taken advantage of them. I think some of them, including my nanny, are very smart, savvy, find ways to get paid extra, etc. I don't for a minute think my nanny would let me take advantage of her in anyway.

I think my nanny is great with my child. I value her greatly. I treat her well (though from reading these kinds of posts, god only knows what she actually might think of me; maybe she hates me). I don't think she is vulnerable. She is smart, and knows exactly what she's doing.

SOME EMPLOYERS ARE GOOD EMPLOYERS!
 

lucybear05

Star Member
Mar 17, 2012
105
3
Oh, and one more story about "making them work overtime". The other night, my husband and I needed to go to an evening meeting. Heaven forbid I ask my nanny to work overtime (since everyone on this board seems to think we employers are so awful and treat our nannies like slaves). So I asked my mom to come over and watch my child.

Well, when I told my nanny, I could tell she was shocked and upset. She said, "Well, I could watch him. You didn't ask me." I told her she works too much already and she should have a break, and my mom doesn't mind coming over for 2 hours. I guess when my mom was over the nanny came and talked to her, and was asking why I didn't ask the nanny, and going on and on about how she could have watched my child.

So this kind of crap just confuses me. We are evil if we ask them to work extra, but we are evil if we don't. Apparently, we can't win.

OK, rant over.
 

jhearylee

Newbie
Sep 6, 2012
3
0
In my case. I am asked for over time without pay. Which is not fair. My overtime is not only 2 hrs it 2 days without pay and it happened twice.
 

job_seeker

VIP Member
Jul 27, 2009
4,539
83
Bank the hours. Document what you did for those extra days and either charge them for overtime or ask extra time off.

jhearylee said:
In my case. I am asked for over time without pay. Which is not fair. My overtime is not only 2 hrs it 2 days without pay and it happened twice.
 

job_seeker

VIP Member
Jul 27, 2009
4,539
83
Your nanny is lucky to have you. But you can also stand pat on what you agreed upon. If she worked more hours when you're already there then just tell her to do whatever the following day. You can even make a list of what needs to be done on a day and if she didn't finish it then carry whatever was not done over to the next day. Maybe she had you around her little finger and that is not acceptable too.

lucybear05 said:
Oh, and one more story about "making them work overtime". The other night, my husband and I needed to go to an evening meeting. Heaven forbid I ask my nanny to work overtime (since everyone on this board seems to think we employers are so awful and treat our nannies like slaves). So I asked my mom to come over and watch my child.

Well, when I told my nanny, I could tell she was shocked and upset. She said, "Well, I could watch him. You didn't ask me." I told her she works too much already and she should have a break, and my mom doesn't mind coming over for 2 hours. I guess when my mom was over the nanny came and talked to her, and was asking why I didn't ask the nanny, and going on and on about how she could have watched my child.

So this kind of crap just confuses me. We are evil if we ask them to work extra, but we are evil if we don't. Apparently, we can't win.

OK, rant over.
 

lucybear05

Star Member
Mar 17, 2012
105
3
Thanks jobseeker. Yes, I don't know where the balance is, and we are having trouble with that. On the one hand, I never want to do anything that would be taking advantage of her, or treating her badly, or stressing her out. She is taking care of my child, so I want her to be 100% happy. But on the other hand, I don't want to be taken advantage of either. We are trying to find the right balance between the two, and I would say that has been our only challenge in having a live-in caregiver.