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In case of dual intent, how to satisfy the visa officer for study permit

S

Sheena87

Star Member
Mar 27, 2019
88
25
GarimaB said:
Other half of SOP:

CONCORDIA UNIVERSITY



I have fulfilled all the criteria of my admission for my conditional offer letter from Concordia University, Montreal, Quebec for Master of Engineering Information System Security.

I wanted to choose a University that is reputed and would help me acquire skills that are professionally relevant in the market. During my research, I came across this course from Concordia University. Though my research slowed down due to my motherly obligation in the beginning and later due to official commitment, it was steady and in the right direction. I carefully went through the program structure and realized that it perfectly fits my needs. I also checked with the University alumni’s and current students about the university. I collected the information to make the best possible decision. I strongly believe that the well-rounded syllabus of this course will help me boost my knowledge and provide me real-time experience.



I got excellent feedback for the University and the course. This curriculum also suits my next level of the objective to get the expertise in this domain. I am especially interested in ‘Operating Systems Security’ and ‘Malware Defenses and Application-Security’ which are part of this course. I was very happy to secure admission in the course of my choice and I’m confident that it will add great value to my profile in the future.



ABOUT THIS COURSE



  • Duration: 2 Years
  • Level: Master’s Program – Master of Engineering Information System Security


CAREER OUTCOMES

This course will impart technical and managerial skills such as analytical thinking and leadership skills, Security Management Frameworks, and Innovative thinking. Furthermore, after completing my course, I will have the opportunity to be a Cyber Security Specialist, an Information Security Analyst, Director of Information Security, Senior Information Security Specialist-Network, Information Privacy Analyst, Information Security Architect, Senior Business Systems Analyst – Information Security, Senior Information Security Auditor, Manager - Information Security, Chief Information Security Officer, Chief Information Officer, etc. to quote a few roles.


RELEVANCE OF THIS COURSE TO MY ACADEMIC AND/OR EMPLOYMENT PROFILE



There are multiple reasons why I would like to pursue this course and work in this field.

To quote a few:
  • I am curious about the new technologies that are used in solving cybersecurity problems and learning about the tools that are developed to assist security professionals i.e. “Wireshark”, “John the Ripper” and “Tcpdump” used for network security; “Paros Prox”, “Nikto” used for scanning web vulnerabilities. Also, I want to garner skills to be quick in understanding the problem and applying the right technique to solve it as time counts a lot while dealing with cybersecurity problems.
  • Every role within IT has a cybersecurity aspect. Focusing on security as my primary role opens up a world of options. From security operations to risk assessments to application security to investigators to compliance to educator, there are as many roles within cybersecurity as lines of code running in your browser. That's a massive opportunity to stay engaged and challenged.
  • Demand for cybersecurity professionals is on the rise. “The US Bureau of Labor Statistics” reports that the industry will experience job growth of 31% between 2019 and 2029. That is a much faster rate than most other industries will experience.
  • According to a new McKinsey Global Survey of executives, “their companies have accelerated the digitization of their customer and supply-chain interactions and their internal operations by three to four years. And the share of digital or digitally enabled products in their portfolios has accelerated by a shocking seven years”. This means security professionals will not only solve today’s problem but of the future as well.
FUTURE SCOPE

It is a fact that no business can survive without Information security and cybersecurity, especially in the world that is so extensively digitally connected. On LinkedIn alone, there are more than 25000+ information security jobs posted in Canada and 20000+ posted in India right now and the job bank lists another 20000+ jobs. After completing the Masters program in Information System Security from Concordia, I am sure that I will be equipped to take on a role in India or Canada with more responsibilities and understanding of the domain. However, I do not want to have a myopic view only of India or Canada, hence I will explore opportunities worldwide.

As a student for 2 years, I am fully committed to add value to my portfolio and give back to the institution/society as much as possible. I want the duration of my studies to be filled with innovation, devotion, and community service. The scope of the domain is large, and I’m very confident that the choice of the Course, University, and the Country will open an array of opportunities for my career.

Thanking you for your time in going through this document and waiting for a positive reply from you.

Warm regards,

Garima
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Thanks for posting your SOP. I agree with what the others have said, there are far too many details. The VO has limited time to check every SOP, keep in mind that they handle numerous applications daily. Please mention specific points only. It doesn't read like your personal SOP, it has a generic feel. Like why do YOU want to study this course? The reasons you have given are common and not specific to you and your career. What are YOUR plans after returning to India? Etc. And do u have any experience in cybersecurity? If not, how will you convince VO that your proposed program will add value to your education and experience and thus facilitate career progression? Please focus on these points and also get GCMS notes. Hope this helps.
 
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W

wonderbly

VIP Member
Aug 26, 2020
3,882
3,088
GarimaB said:
Please find below my SOP for reference. I have written this SOP from a perspective that the Visa officer already knows that I have an active express entry profile.

STATEMENT OF PURPOSE​

INTRODUCTION

I, Garima ****, 30 years old, am a passionate young professional committed to learning and self-development. I am extremely passionate about Information Technology and Software domain especially data/information security. I am married and have a two-year-old daughter. My husband works for a multinational firm as a recruitment professional. He has been immensely supportive to pursue my dreams of higher education amidst all the challenges.

FAMILY DETAILS
Being in a joint family, I have sufficient funds to support my studies in Canada as my husband is associated with **** (MNC) on the post of Senior Recruiter and earning annually 24, 50,000 INR. Apart from that, my father-in-law is a retired government servant and lately, he is on pension and getting annually 6,00,000 INR. My family and husband will look after my daughter because amid this pandemic it is not safe to take her along with me, also she is not vaccinated. As my husband is working with an MNC as a Talent Acquisition professional, he knows the value of affiliated education thus he is encouraging me for my higher studies. After completing my studies I can broaden up the horizon of my knowledge and work opportunities.

I have already paid one-year tuition fees i.e. $15,250 and GIC for $10,000 my living expenses. The receipt of Tuition Fees and GIC is attached with my visa file for reference.

ACADEMIC BACKGROUND

I have always been fascinated by technology and how it has affected the lives of people across the world. Subsequently, when the time came for me to decide on my career during my higher secondary school, I opted for engineering. I completed my undergraduate studies in Electronics and Communication Engineering from *** in 2013 with honors and an aggregate of 77.80% across the four years of my Bachelors of Technology.

Following are my academic qualifications:

Course​
Year​
College/School​
Comments​
IELTS​
2020​
-8 bands
B Tech Electronics and Communication Engineering​
2013​
******77.8% Hons
Higher Secondary School​
2009​
******81.6% in Physics, Chemistry, Mathematics, English and Hindi
Secondary school​
2007​
******91.6% in Physics, Chemistry, Biology, Mathematics, History and Civics, Geography, Computer Science

Apart from academics, I was always involved in various extracurricular activities like sports events, dance competitions, dramatics, volunteering for teaching drives and spreading environment related awareness in rural areas. Such participation taught me skills like teamwork, leadership, and social work.

WORK EXPERIENCE AND CURRENT ACTIVITIES: (Total work experience-7.5+ YRS)
  • A Software Org : Project Lead cum Software developer
  • Project Lead cum Senior Software Engineer (1st Aug, 2020 till date)
  • Senior Software Developer (4th Sep, 2018 to 31st July, 2020)

  • A Software Org : Senior Software Engineer
  • Senior Software Developer (1st July, 2016 to 31stAug, 2018)
  • Software Developer (5th Oct, 2015 to 30th June, 2016)

  • A Software Org: Software Engineer
  • Software Developer (1st April, 2014 to 11th Sep, 2015)
  • Graduate Engineer Trainee (19th Aug, 2013 to 31st Mar, 2014)
During the 7th semester of my B-Tech, I was hired by XXXXX as a trainee in September 2012 in a campus placement drive. Unlike the norm in India, I decided to work after my graduation instead of going for higher studies.

I joined XXX in August 2013 after the completion of my studies. This marked the start of a new chapter in my life as my decision-making, time-management, and interpersonal skills shot up to the next level. The recent development in my career is that I was given the opportunity to lead the team and got promoted to Project Lead in August 2020. I wish to stay in the Information Technology sector for as long as I can see myself grow and learn.

INCEPTION OF THOUGHTS TO GAIN EXPERTISE IN INFORMATION SECURITY

I have gained experience in multiple technologies and solved varied range of complex problems to develop outstanding software for organizations. But an intriguing question always remained intact in my mind about the security of real-life information systems. As a developer, I closely monitored how a banking system works and its data security-related concerns. My interest grew multifold in this space as my research went deep. I tried my best to get into the role of information system security but could not get it due to my educational limitations. However, looking at my genuine interest and hard work, my project manager gave me a role in which I could pursue my interests in this field at XXX. This work was beyond my working hours. I was responsible for checking that the coding standards are followed religiously to keep the data security intact. I also conducted training sessions for the team on information security. However, this was not enough for my quest to become an expert in this field.

On 17th May 2019, I became the proud mother of a daughter and went on maternity leave. This leave allowed me to revisit my career and introspect on my growth. I realized that after my B-Tech, I had never thought of shaping up my career. I just went with the flow. Like any other engineering student, getting a campus offer was the only objective that I successfully got with XXXX.

After that, I worked day and night to understand the coding world and to be successful in my role. This was the first time in my life, I was looking at my career with a broader perspective and started looking for options to enhance my career by enrolling in some courses in Information System Security. I particularly wanted an institution that is relevant in the context of globalization.

CRYSTALLIZATION OF THOUGHTS TO PURSUE THIS COURSE

I have watched multiple YouTube and LinkedIn videos to stay abreast of the latest development in this space and am impressed by the amount of good information. I am also curious to make some solutions to tackle security threats during rapid technology changes or advancement. I am confident that my experience of understanding complex systems for application development will help me to excel in this course. I have been a bright student throughout my academics and scored well in Science. My ability to make actionable insight out of data, building products/processes from scratch, and ability to deliver in extraordinarily complex/intense timelines would help me to become a master in this domain.

WHY CANADA?

After working for two multinational organizations (XXX and XXX) and a small setup (XXXX) for 7+ Yrs., the desire for pushing my limits and staying relevant in the IT industry has been motivating me for a very long time. I wanted to choose an environment that can bring a global perspective to my thought process. I wanted a place where I can meet people from different parts of the world and can build a strong alumni network. This course in Canada will give me that edge to open gates worldwide.

I learned through research that the students in Canada are driven to challenge conventional thinking in their search for innovative answers that can influence the world. A competitive environment pushes them to become explorers. They seek insights that spread knowledge and make a difference. This culture makes them highly collaborative and gives them an opportunity to work with communities, industry, government, and non-profits to solve problems that affect people’s daily lives. They become mentors, motivators, and debaters. This helps them become the leaders of the future.

Canada is one of the leading nations in the world in the cybersecurity space. “Comparitech” and “CyberDB” have ranked Canada in the top five countries in the cybersecurity space. This means that not only will the Canadian market give me first-handexposure to this domain but also make me employable in highly competitive and prestigious firms across the world. Apart from career and growth, the welcoming nature of Canadians made my intent to study there stronger.
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I'm glad you posted your SOP cos I was stumped why your near-perfect application was rejected. This SOP right here, is the reason why. You completely shot yourself in the foot. For someone with IELTS score of 8 and going for a Master's degree, this SOP is terrible. It lacks originality and flow. Also, you went way overboard with details. I'm pretty sure the VO didn't read a third of it.

Trim it down and keep it simple. No irrelevant information. Not more than 2 pages. 2.5 pages max.

Good luck!
 
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orwell46

Hero Member
Apr 29, 2020
250
104
singh@1234 said:
seriously? do you really think VO will your birth and family details. This SOp is very poor, no wonder you had a reject
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If you think the sop is poor, please offer constructive criticism and solutions to the problem. Every applicant here is staking their future and hard earned money for a better future. Please don't be an insensitive jerk.

@GarimaB as noted by others above, let your SOP be a story which helps the vo to obtain a mental sketch of another human being he is never going to meet. You can add the biographical information in the form of a separate resume. Also, you are applying under sds right? No need to mention your in laws income, seems you are trying too hard to please.
Also, have you considered taking your family along? To me it's unreasonable that a mother will leave a two year old toddler behind to spend two years overseas. I don't think adding your dependants will necessarily lead to a refusal. Many have been successfully on this forum including @wonderbly
 
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S

singh@1234

Star Member
Jun 12, 2021
181
59
orwell46 said:
If you think the sop is poor, please offer constructive criticism and solutions to the problem. Every applicant here is staking their future and hard earned money for a better future. Please don't be an insensitive jerk.

@GarimaB as noted by others above, let your SOP be a story which helps the vo to obtain a mental sketch of another human being he is never going to meet. You can add the biographical information in the form of a separate resume. Also, you are applying under sds right? No need to mention your in laws income, seems you are trying too hard to please.
Also, have you considered taking your family along? To me it's unreasonable that a mother will leave a two year old toddler behind to spend two years overseas. I don't think adding your dependants will necessarily lead to a refusal. Many have been successfully on this forum including @wonderbly
Click to expand...
m sorry about that. i take my words back
 
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GarimaB

Full Member
Sep 11, 2021
22
4
Naturgrl said:
Don‘t use the word “Crystallization of thoughts” and then go on to say you watched Youtube videos to keep up to date with the field. You want to take a Masters so Youtube should not be used as the basis for your research.
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Point noted!
 
G

GarimaB

Full Member
Sep 11, 2021
22
4
singh@1234 said:
seriously? do you really think VO will your birth and family details. This SOp is very poor, no wonder you had a reject
Click to expand...
Thanks for the critical feedback!
I would appreciate if you would help me with some points that I should mention in my re-application SOP. The family details I had added were to show that I have good family ties!
 
S

singh@1234

Star Member
Jun 12, 2021
181
59
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GarimaB

Full Member
Sep 11, 2021
22
4
orwell46 said:
If you think the sop is poor, please offer constructive criticism and solutions to the problem. Every applicant here is staking their future and hard earned money for a better future. Please don't be an insensitive jerk.

@GarimaB as noted by others above, let your SOP be a story which helps the vo to obtain a mental sketch of another human being he is never going to meet. You can add the biographical information in the form of a separate resume. Also, you are applying under sds right? No need to mention your in laws income, seems you are trying too hard to please.
Also, have you considered taking your family along? To me it's unreasonable that a mother will leave a two year old toddler behind to spend two years overseas. I don't think adding your dependants will necessarily lead to a refusal. Many have been successfully on this forum including @wonderbly
Click to expand...
Thanks for your valuable insight @orwell46!
It is quite reasonable to leave my child behind in good care of my husband, grand parents and other family members as moving to a new place with a kid that too in COVID situation did not seem quite right to me. I care for my family and vice-versa. They have taken care of my child since I was working and they supported me and my ambition all through. Also, I mentioned this as I would return back to my home country to my kid and family, maybe not correctly framed my intentions.

I look forward to getting constructive feedback from you guys so that I can go through the re-application and turn out successful!
Any points you guys add is appreciated!
 
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