Writing task 1 - Letter , please review

[Meow25]

Dear Mr. Peter,

I am your new tenant, Tanya Murad, who recently moved into your house #456 on Bayview Street with my mother and my younger sister.

The reason I am writing this letter is to mention some of the difficulties we are facing regarding some of the furniture. We love the house and the neighbourhood is nice and friendly but indoors is not convenient as the bed in the master bedroom is cracked and making a lot of sound. I think one of the bedsteads may be broken. You may have noticed when we were signing the documents that my mother is a little overweight for her size and I am afraid that the bed may not be able to hold on to that for long.

Also, two of the chairs in the dining area are wobbly and makes the person sitting on them a bit nervous. Yesterday we had a visitor who refused to sit on that chair. Now you know we are new and have not been able to do any shopping yet.

It would be very nice if you could replace the bed and the chairs at your earliest convenience to avoid any unpleasant incident.

Looking forward to hearing from you soon,

Yours sincerely,

Tanya Murad.

 

[colegold100]

Hello Tanya,

Good attempt.

My observations are below:
This is a formal letter and I expect that the purpose of writing should always be in the first paragraph

- since you are given bullet points to write about, ensure to write about each points in separate paragraphs.

-You need to work on punctuations, salutations/greetings. For this letter, it should be “Yours faithfully,” because it is formal letter I believe (even though you didn’t share the question)

 

[Meow25]

Hello Tanya,

Good attempt.

My observations are below:
This is a formal letter and I expect that the purpose of writing should always be in the first paragraph

- since you are given bullet points to write about, ensure to write about each points in separate paragraphs.

-You need to work on punctuations, salutations/greetings. For this letter, it should be “Yours faithfully,” because it is formal letter I believe (even though you didn’t share the question)

Noted. Great, thanks.

 

[Jakev]

Hello Tanya,

Good attempt.

My observations are below:
This is a formal letter and I expect that the purpose of writing should always be in the first paragraph

- since you are given bullet points to write about, ensure to write about each points in separate paragraphs.

-You need to work on punctuations, salutations/greetings. For this letter, it should be “Yours faithfully,” because it is formal letter I believe (even though you didn’t share the question)

Beg to differ on the last part- if you know the name of whom you’re addressing to, closing it with a ‘Yours sincerely’ should work. Alternatively, should you don’t know the person whom the letter is addressed to, put ‘Yours faithfully’.