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Red flags in my relationship

flx2015

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Jul 27, 2015
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So here's the thing: my marriage is as genuine as it gets. My wife and I love each other, miss each other, etc... but we've only been together for 4 months, and there are things that many people probably won't understand about our marriage. I'm worried that the CIC might see these things as red flags.

1. Our marriage was arranged, and our relationship only began to develop a few days after our actual marriage.
2. Since our marriage was arranged, there was very little communication between us before the marriage.
3. The only time we've been together physically was when I flew over for the actual marriage, and even then, I was only able to stay for 10 days because that's all the time I was able to get off from my job.
4. I can't visit her because I can't get the time off, and she can't visit me because she's studying. We intend to apply for a TRV for her once she's done studying, but we all know how difficult it is to get one.
5. I filed my sponsorship application only a month after the wedding.

Now the wedding itself was done properly according to our customs. We had three functions with approx 150 to 200 guests, and we took lots of pictures. My parents, grandparents, and a few of my uncles attended. As per everyone's advice, I included proof of my visit. I also sent a month's worth of communication, from the day I left to the day I filed the application. I wanted to send in more communication logs after getting my SA because that's all I have to prove my relationship is genuine (I created a separate thread on that), but some of you are telling me not to send in anything unless they ask, and that they probably won't even read more than a few lines of the logs.

Are they going to scrutinize my application because of the circumstances explained above? I don't mind scrutiny because there's nothing to hide, but I just don't want them to take any longer than they need to. What do you guys think? Am I overthinking things here? And before anyone tells me that I need to go visit her, I'd like to mention again that I can't do that because I have a job and I can't get any time off.
 

mandiebraxton

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Mar 7, 2011
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So far as are arranged marriage is part of your culture, then this will not be 'unusual' in CIC's eyes. That said, in my opinion, you have sent as much evidence as you possibly can. Perhaps relationship support letters from both parents will be beneficial.

As to whether you send more proofs or wait until you are asked, is entirely your call. I don't see anything wrong either way. But remember CIC willl be looking out for ONGOING communication between the two of you after your marriage - that is if they ask for more proof of the relationship. Hope this helps. I wish you all the best.

*Mandie*
 

ginsengsamurai

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Jan 29, 2012
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I know that stuff like this is nerve wrecking, so I'll offer a little reflection to help ease your mind a tiny bit...

1. I met my wife at a chat room in May 2010.
2. We met in person in Germany in April 2012. I stayed for about 13 days.
3. We met again in person in Germany in September 2013. We got married and I stayed for about 11 days.
4. We sent her PR application in the end of July 2015, got AOR in the end of August 2015, then SA at the end of September 2015.
5. We were nearly worried sick that her application was going to be incomplete or because of our short in-person relationship, she will go for an interview. HOWEVER, on January 7th, 2016, she got DM and received her CoPR on the 12th.

Mind you, we sent:
- About 160+ photos. A mix of our wedding, hanging out, etc.
- About 400 pages total of chat logs, phone bills, text messages, emails, Whatsapp, etc.
- Photocopies of letters, postcards, gift/hotel receipts.
- Print-out records of money I sent her via Paypal.

Conclusion:
It's normal to go crazy and over-think things, but go to the mirror right now and tell yourself this: "Over thinking only adds stress. Things will happen when they happen. So wait until things happen, then deal with it then."

Reason being that there is nothing you can do until you're asked about it. So in the meantime, find something to keep your mind busy.
 

flx2015

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Thanks guys for the support. It means a lot to me.

It would help me put my mind at ease if I sent in more proof, because I just feel as if I didn't include enough with the original application. I've got hand written cards that we sent to each other, wire transfers that I sent to support her financially, and of course more communication logs between us. I don't know whether to send this right now or wait until they ask.
 

mandiebraxton

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Mar 7, 2011
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flx2015 said:
Thanks guys for the support. It means a lot to me.

It would help me put my mind at ease if I sent in more proof, because I just feel as if I didn't include enough with the original application. I've got hand written cards that we sent to each other, wire transfers that I sent to support her financially, and of course more communication logs between us. I don't know whether to send this right now or wait until they ask.
The response remains the same, it's entirely up you to you. ...if you already have file number etc then by all means send the additional proof if this will put your mind at rest. I feel like you will be creating more threads on this topic if you don't send the additional proof now .
*Mandie*
 

flx2015

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mandiebraxton said:
The response remains the same, it's entirely up you to you. ...if you already have file number etc then by all means send the additional proof of this will put your mind at rest. I feel like you will be creating more threads on this topic if you don't send the additional proof now .
*Mandie*
I guess I'll send it then. I know that there's no guarantee on whether this will help, but at least it'll put my mind at ease and maybe save some time for the VO.

And yeah I know I'm posting way too much due to my constant state of worry. Sorry for that. :p
 

Aquakitty

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Mar 21, 2011
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You've done everything you can do and it's out of your hands now. I found it was better just to not look at ecas and forums for a while. You have to wait for them to respond so obsessing over it doesn't do much good.
 

F.M

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Nov 16, 2015
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flx2015 said:
So here's the thing: my marriage is as genuine as it gets. My wife and I love each other, miss each other, etc... but we've only been together for 4 months, and there are things that many people probably won't understand about our marriage. I'm worried that the CIC might see these things as red flags.

1. Our marriage was arranged, and our relationship only began to develop a few days after our actual marriage.
2. Since our marriage was arranged, there was very little communication between us before the marriage.
3. The only time we've been together physically was when I flew over for the actual marriage, and even then, I was only able to stay for 10 days because that's all the time I was able to get off from my job.
4. I can't visit her because I can't get the time off, and she can't visit me because she's studying. We intend to apply for a TRV for her once she's done studying, but we all know how difficult it is to get one.
5. I filed my sponsorship application only a month after the wedding.

Now the wedding itself was done properly according to our customs. We had three functions with approx 150 to 200 guests, and we took lots of pictures. My parents, grandparents, and a few of my uncles attended. As per everyone's advice, I included proof of my visit. I also sent a month's worth of communication, from the day I left to the day I filed the application. I wanted to send in more communication logs after getting my SA because that's all I have to prove my relationship is genuine (I created a separate thread on that), but some of you are telling me not to send in anything unless they ask, and that they probably won't even read more than a few lines of the logs.

Are they going to scrutinize my application because of the circumstances explained above? I don't mind scrutiny because there's nothing to hide, but I just don't want them to take any longer than they need to. What do you guys think? Am I overthinking things here? And before anyone tells me that I need to go visit her, I'd like to mention again that I can't do that because I have a job and I can't get any time off.
u are super worried. if i start worrying than i will see my case as the case full of red flags. You are married in Pakistan and they know the culture nd customs of each country u dont have to worry about it. i am married to my second cousin but i never dated nor talked to my czn our married was arranged and just like your case i saw my partner on my marriage day because of our religion nd traditions.. nd than applied after one month of our marriage.. its pretty normal for them to have such cases.
I just missed that link but thats on this website when one of the forum member has attached the link where one has an interview with the immigration officers and he tells about different visa offices how they work and how they see cases. in that interview they clearly said that we know in which country which traditions and customs are followed and we find red flags in those cases where the customs are not followed. i will try to search that and will send to you
 

flx2015

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F.M said:
u are super worried. if i start worrying than i will see my case as the case full of red flags. You are married in Pakistan and they know the culture nd customs of each country u dont have to worry about it. i am married to my second cousin but i never dated nor talked to my czn our married was arranged and just like your case i saw my partner on my marriage day because of our religion nd traditions.. nd than applied after one month of our marriage.. its pretty normal for them to have such cases.
I just missed that link but thats on this website when one of the forum member has attached the link where one has an interview with the immigration officers and he tells about different visa offices how they work and how they see cases. in that interview they clearly said that we know in which country which traditions and customs are followed and we find red flags in those cases where the customs are not followed. i will try to search that and will send to you
Thank you but I think it would be better if I didn't go reading more threads like that. You're all right in that I'm worrying too much over this.

Aquakitty also has a good point; it may be best if I avoided ECAS and these forums for a while. I come here when I'm feeling relaxed/hopeful, but then sooner or later I always manage to find another post that gets me thinking. :-\
 

mcbeth

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Aug 30, 2014
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I had many more red flags in my application for my Russian wife than you have and we were approved with zero problems.

Our application had the following red flags for example; met online, 3 months for first meeting which lasted 1 week, 3 months till marriage and honeymoon which lasted 1 week, only 12 photos sent, no emails sent, no Skype logs sent, some but not all boarding passes sent, and very brief answers on all application pages.

I have never flown to Russia to meet her family, her family never came to meet me anywhere, no family members attended the wedding, etc. As I said above, zero problems. Never was asked for more proof even though the case notes mentioned a lack of information, and there was no interview, my wife was simply approved.

It's easy for all of us to say do not worry, those of us who are finished have all been there, but the case will go how it's going to go no matter what you say or do about it.