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F8592

Newbie
Jun 26, 2022
3
0
1. We got married in Dec 2019. I came here in Canada In mid of April 2022. When I came here my relationship with my wife start upset because of her Family interference. I was living with my in laws in their basement and they keep pushing me for parties/family/marriages on daily basis and when i got tired from all this I said them I can not do it daily because i need to focus on my Job and health as well, they start mentally torturing me. He abuse me 2 to 3 times and always saying me, you have to do whatever we are saying. When ever I sit with them they keep pushing me to go with them. Many times they asked me why you are doing job after 5 o clock, you are ignoring us, How ever I am a finance person and late sittings are norm. These taunts and pushing me every time for things which I can not do, becomes a torture for me because every time they misguide my wife and she fight with me.. One day my father in law abuse me for not going with them on party and i got to much tortured on this thing and I slapped on my head and got concussion, This was the worst time in my life.. My wife asked me to give statement in hospital that I fell on the floor.

After few days of this I feel congestion in my chest and called my wife but she was on picnic with her parents and didn't picked up my call so i went to hospital on bus and reached there where doc diagnosed me that it was concussion. That day my father in law picked me from Hospital and dropped me at my Aunt house at 2 o clock in night, shout there and said now you live here. You always have panic attacks and you are a trouble for us.

Now they are saying i can not talk to my wife because I am mentally sick. This thing is torturing me and every day is just like a hell for me because i did everything for my wife and today she also left me all alone at home and hospital as well. I beg her that I am ready to get a home for us, but she refused. Her mother and father are interfering too much in our life which destroyed my relationship and yesterday she needs separation.


2. Last year when I was in my home country, I gave my Credit card number to my wife for shopping and my mother in law used my card and said it was a mistake and then keep trolling me that you must had a heart attack. Although its not possible to use Credit card of any one by mistake.


3. I came here in April 22 and my father in law filed my tax return of 2021 without my consent and asked me to sign on my tax return and said, you have to sign it and when i said no, he abuse me and again become a reason of fight between me and my wife because she always took their side. He mentioned in that tax return that I was taking WCB in 2021 however I came here in April 2022.

I tried a lot to tell my wife that this loneliness is killing me from inside but still she doesn't care and its a big pain for me right now. I am so depressed, going down and down, lost my weight from 76 to 70 kg in last few weeks. Living without her is killing me from inside. This whole situation is so much difficult for me. After all this torture she is saying "You have panic attacks that's why you hit yourself few times.". She never try to understand that her family is destroying our relationship. I also saw few unacceptable pictures of my wife which becomes reason of fight but I ignored it but she is saying she will do whatever she wants. I beg her to not to leave me like this, she can do anything she wants, just don't leave me bcz i can not live without her. I tried everything for my wife but now they are saying I did nothing in past 3 years. I am so much depressed, tired and tortured now.


I have few questions;

a) If I am male, Does it mean they can abuse, mentally torture me in any way? and my wife is female so I can not do anything?

b) My wife forced me to write letter to CRA that my tax return filing was just mistake by her accountant (Her father is also her tax accountant) and not intentional, otherwise CRA will create an issue for her father. Now is it a problem for me?

c) Can they put any claim on me and asked immigration to deport me, in case of divorce? or will it create any issue at time of citizenship?

d) Do I have to pay spousal support in case of divorce, I heard its 50%. I just came here, my wife left me alone at my aunt house. My parents are sick and need money for medicine. I need money for rent and food and travelling. If I will pay her 50%, I will have nothing for survival.

e) Do they calculate spousal support from start of marriage (Marriage was in pak) or when I reached Canada?

f) My wife gave consent to IRCC that she will provide me food and shelter for first three years but she have left me alone in difficult time. Now what should I do?

g) Do I need to inform CRA that we are separated? Does it fall under seperation?


I am new here, don't know where to go? where to seek help, so much depressed right now and need some help how to resolve these problems. any one who can guide me in detail please?
 
 

canuck78

VIP Member
Jun 18, 2017
52,479
12,660
1. We got married in Dec 2019. I came here in Canada In mid of April 2022. When I came here my relationship with my wife start upset because of her Family interference. I was living with my in laws in their basement and they keep pushing me for parties/family/marriages on daily basis and when i got tired from all this I said them I can not do it daily because i need to focus on my Job and health as well, they start mentally torturing me. He abuse me 2 to 3 times and always saying me, you have to do whatever we are saying. When ever I sit with them they keep pushing me to go with them. Many times they asked me why you are doing job after 5 o clock, you are ignoring us, How ever I am a finance person and late sittings are norm. These taunts and pushing me every time for things which I can not do, becomes a torture for me because every time they misguide my wife and she fight with me.. One day my father in law abuse me for not going with them on party and i got to much tortured on this thing and I slapped on my head and got concussion, This was the worst time in my life.. My wife asked me to give statement in hospital that I fell on the floor.

After few days of this I feel congestion in my chest and called my wife but she was on picnic with her parents and didn't picked up my call so i went to hospital on bus and reached there where doc diagnosed me that it was concussion. That day my father in law picked me from Hospital and dropped me at my Aunt house at 2 o clock in night, shout there and said now you live here. You always have panic attacks and you are a trouble for us.

Now they are saying i can not talk to my wife because I am mentally sick. This thing is torturing me and every day is just like a hell for me because i did everything for my wife and today she also left me all alone at home and hospital as well. I beg her that I am ready to get a home for us, but she refused. Her mother and father are interfering too much in our life which destroyed my relationship and yesterday she needs separation.


2. Last year when I was in my home country, I gave my Credit card number to my wife for shopping and my mother in law used my card and said it was a mistake and then keep trolling me that you must had a heart attack. Although its not possible to use Credit card of any one by mistake.


3. I came here in April 22 and my father in law filed my tax return of 2021 without my consent and asked me to sign on my tax return and said, you have to sign it and when i said no, he abuse me and again become a reason of fight between me and my wife because she always took their side. He mentioned in that tax return that I was taking WCB in 2021 however I came here in April 2022.

I tried a lot to tell my wife that this loneliness is killing me from inside but still she doesn't care and its a big pain for me right now. I am so depressed, going down and down, lost my weight from 76 to 70 kg in last few weeks. Living without her is killing me from inside. This whole situation is so much difficult for me. After all this torture she is saying "You have panic attacks that's why you hit yourself few times.". She never try to understand that her family is destroying our relationship. I also saw few unacceptable pictures of my wife which becomes reason of fight but I ignored it but she is saying she will do whatever she wants. I beg her to not to leave me like this, she can do anything she wants, just don't leave me bcz i can not live without her. I tried everything for my wife but now they are saying I did nothing in past 3 years. I am so much depressed, tired and tortured now.


I have few questions;

a) If I am male, Does it mean they can abuse, mentally torture me in any way? and my wife is female so I can not do anything?

b) My wife forced me to write letter to CRA that my tax return filing was just mistake by her accountant (Her father is also her tax accountant) and not intentional, otherwise CRA will create an issue for her father. Now is it a problem for me?

c) Can they put any claim on me and asked immigration to deport me, in case of divorce? or will it create any issue at time of citizenship?

d) Do I have to pay spousal support in case of divorce, I heard its 50%. I just came here, my wife left me alone at my aunt house. My parents are sick and need money for medicine. I need money for rent and food and travelling. If I will pay her 50%, I will have nothing for survival.

e) Do they calculate spousal support from start of marriage (Marriage was in pak) or when I reached Canada?

f) My wife gave consent to IRCC that she will provide me food and shelter for first three years but she have left me alone in difficult time. Now what should I do?

g) Do I need to inform CRA that we are separated? Does it fall under seperation?


I am new here, don't know where to go? where to seek help, so much depressed right now and need some help how to resolve these problems. any one who can guide me in detail please?
I am sorry you are going through this. You must leave the situation. It is pretty clear that your spouse has taken the side of her parents. Once you leave you need to contact CRA and disclose that you were forced to sign a tax return with threat of violence even though you knew it was wrong and that you fear others may have falsified tax returns using your FIL as the accountant. If you feel unsafe moving out of the home I would suggest calling the police so they can be present when you take your belongings. If you have friends in Canada I would suggest you stay with them when leave your marriage. If you don’t friends or family you can stay with one of the domestic violence charities may find you a place to stay if you don’t have enough money to find a place to stay right away. if you are able to rent a new apartment or room on your own that would be your first option. If you continue to be abused get a restraining order from the police. Keep records like screenshots of text exchanges, keep any messages that are threatening, take pictures if injured, etc. Whether you will owe spousal support will depend on how long you have been married and whether your spouse works. It is unlikely to be 50% given the length of your marriage and the fact that your spouse seems to live with their family. If you receive welfare in the 3 years since getting PR your spouse must repay the government. Welfare is not a lot of money and is very difficult to live on. You should work if at all possible.

Although I am sure getting remarried isn’t your primary though but you should be aware that you don’t qualify to sponsor another spouse for 5 years since you got PR.
 

jfrancis85

Member
Jun 23, 2022
18
12
As someone who works for the Government of Canada (I won't say which agency). You need to contact them and report that you signed this under duress.
 

Phalos

Champion Member
Jun 19, 2020
2,566
1,293
One day my father in law abuse me for not going with them on party and i got to much tortured on this thing and I slapped on my head and got concussion, This was the worst time in my life..
Never slap yourself in the head.
I beg her to not to leave me like this, she can do anything she wants, just don't leave me bcz i can not live without her. I tried everything for my wife but now they are saying I did nothing in past 3 years. I am so much depressed, tired and tortured now.
Once you have to beg your wife not to leave you- you know 100% she has less than zero respect for you as a man and your marriage is basically over. You now must raise yourself of the floor and put many kilometers between you and her forever. Forget about her existence (You won't pay any spousal support and thank your guardian angel she is not pregnant - which by the way needless to say you must never sleep with her again or she might get pregnant and then you will be paying child support forever and never be cut loose from her family).
Speaking from experience here.