Are Canadians frightened by immigrants who don't fit stereotypes?

[jokulhaup]

I'm a new immigrant but I'm not new to Canada. I've spent all my adult life here (9 years and counting).

When I first came to this small Prairie city from my native country of India, I thought "Wow, everyone is so nice and friendly and welcoming here!". In a few years, I realized that the niceness was usually fake. I also began to notice subtle incidents of racism. In the past nine years, I never made a single Canadian friend. I know what you're probably thinking: "this guy needs to get out of his Indian cultural shell". Well, that is precisely my point. I was never very Indian to begin with, and I never associated with the Indian community. I don't have Indian friends either, but I do have non-Indian, non-Canadian friends, and a spouse who is from the EU. In other words, local people are unable to pigeonhole me (and especially, us) into a certain ethnic, political, national, or religious group. I have deduced that people need to be able to classify someone using their own preconceived notions before being able to interact with them naturally.

Have other immigrants observed this? Do any Canadians want to tell me if my theory is correct? I'm not trying to rile anyone up, btw.

 

[Leon]

I have heard people say that in some towns, people just stick with the friends they made in school and if you didn't go to school with them, you will never find your way into the group. Some towns are just strange that way.

 

[amikety]

I'm a new immigrant but I'm not new to Canada. I've spent all my adult life here (9 years and counting).

When I first came to this small Prairie city from my native country of India, I thought "Wow, everyone is so nice and friendly and welcoming here!". In a few years, I realized that the niceness was usually fake. I also began to notice subtle incidents of racism. In the past nine years, I never made a single Canadian friend. I know what you're probably thinking: "this guy needs to get out of his Indian cultural shell". Well, that is precisely my point. I was never very Indian to begin with, and I never associated with the Indian community. I don't have Indian friends either, but I do have non-Indian, non-Canadian friends, and a spouse who is from the EU. In other words, local people are unable to pigeonhole me (and especially, us) into a certain ethnic, political, national, or religious group. I have deduced that people need to be able to classify someone using their own preconceived notions before being able to interact with them naturally.

Have other immigrants observed this? Do any Canadians want to tell me if my theory is correct? I'm not trying to rile anyone up, btw.

I'm American and for the most part, I agree with you. People are nice... but yeah...

On the other hand, many ethnic groups chose to seclude themselves, pretend to not speak English/French, and are just as racist back to other racial groups.

 

[jokulhaup]

On the other hand, many ethnic groups chose to seclude themselves, pretend to not speak English/French, and are just as racist back to other racial groups.

Agreed. I have always avoided coming across as one of "these people" (besides, it's not in my personality to act like this) but I feel that most people assume I am going to behave this way just because of where I'm from, and so don't give me a chance to prove otherwise.

 

[amikety]

Agreed. I have always avoided coming across as one of "these people" (besides, it's not in my personality to act like this) but I feel that most people assume I am going to behave this way just because of where I'm from, and so don't give me a chance to prove otherwise.

Well, there are plenty of actually nice people that don't care about race in Canada too, so just stick to those people. Canada's dealing with a lot of growing pains, but we'll figure it out.

 

[PMM]

Hi

Well, there are plenty of actually nice people that don't care about race in Canada too, so just stick to those people. Canada's dealing with a lot of growing pains, but we'll figure it out.

Most people make their friends with people they have grown up, friends of friends or co-workers. A lot of friendships are based on shared experiences, and develop over a long period of time. I doubt if anyone walks out of the house in the morning and says that "I am going to make a new friend today". The odd thing most of the "ethnics" that I meet are the elderly when I go to the pool in the mornings. I don't consider them friends as such, but more along the line of acquaintances as we have a shared experience at the pool. We have limited conversations (language barrier) but everyone is polite and I do have some discussions with their experiences in Canada and their travels. I find it interesting at the pool that is the elderly who make the effort to communicate with me, rather than the younger people.

 

[firhill]

Re: Are Canadians less accepting of immigrants who don't fit stereotypes?

I guess to get a true answer to this question, "Canadians" and "immigrants" would have to be defined.

With Canada being such a "new" country, I'm not sure there is such a thing as a stereotypical Canadian as many first or second generation Canadians may still be influenced by the social lifestyle of their own immigrant family.

 

[Immi_advisor]

Ok, here's my opinion of that: I am in many ways what's considered to be a "true" Canadian with generations living here. Lots of my friends are not Canadians and I'm enjoying that. In many ways it's an eye opening experience. Different backgrounds, different traditions.
Overall, most of the people I know are positive about immigrants and are more than willing to grab a few beers on Friday night no matter of the race and colour.

 

[Drea]

I'm a new immigrant but I'm not new to Canada. I've spent all my adult life here (9 years and counting).

When I first came to this small Prairie city from my native country of India, I thought "Wow, everyone is so nice and friendly and welcoming here!". In a few years, I realized that the niceness was usually fake. I also began to notice subtle incidents of racism. In the past nine years, I never made a single Canadian friend. I know what you're probably thinking: "this guy needs to get out of his Indian cultural shell". Well, that is precisely my point. I was never very Indian to begin with, and I never associated with the Indian community. I don't have Indian friends either, but I do have non-Indian, non-Canadian friends, and a spouse who is from the EU. In other words, local people are unable to pigeonhole me (and especially, us) into a certain ethnic, political, national, or religious group. I have deduced that people need to be able to classify someone using their own preconceived notions before being able to interact with them naturally.

Have other immigrants observed this? Do any Canadians want to tell me if my theory is correct? I'm not trying to rile anyone up, btw.

I know what you mean, Jokaulhaup. I'm Indian too, but I've grown up and lived in various other places my whole life. I'm fluent in English and French, but not my native language. I don't have any Indian friends, I don't look or talk like an Indian. I have no knowledge of Bollywood or cricket or anything like that. So the number one question people ask me is "Where are you really from?"

But you're right, people want to know where you are from so that they can figure you out. Especially here, where there are so many ethnic and cultural groups, people want to put you in a category so that they will feel comfortable with how to behave with you and consquently, the world will still be in order.

I see myself as a citizen of the world. I always have. And I appreciate the multiculturalism and diversity in Toronto. If I experience any racism (which is far less in Toronto than it is is Europe), I don't dwell on it. And as a result, I think I draw open-minded and worldly people to me.

You should appreciate your own worldliness and don't let the petty things bother you! ;D

 

[amikety]

I know what you mean, Jokaulhaup. I'm Indian too, but I've grown up and lived in various other places my whole life. I'm fluent in English and French, but not my native language. I don't have any Indian friends, I don't look or talk like an Indian. I have no knowledge of Bollywood or cricket or anything like that. So the number one question people ask me is "Where are you really from?"

But you're right, people want to know where you are from so that they can figure you out. Especially here, where there are so many ethnic and cultural groups, people want to put you in a category so that they will feel comfortable with how to behave with you and consquently, the world will still be in order.

I see myself as a citizen of the world. I always have. And I appreciate the multiculturalism and diversity in Toronto. If I experience any racism (which is far less in Toronto than it is is Europe), I don't dwell on it. And as a result, I think I draw open-minded and worldly people to me.

You should appreciate your own worldliness and don't let the petty things bother you! ;D

Great attitude! +1