Advice needed

[mizzdanish]

I definatly could use some advice and I figured this was the best place to get it concidering most of you know how this process can be.
I have been married almost 3 years, my husband has been gone over 2 back to grenada. We have a 2 year old daughter together and only were married 7 months before he was asked to leave the country. This process is horrible as you all know but for me it's been a nightmare. I have travelled 3 times to bring my child to see her father. I have been treated with disrespect literally every time. On all 3 trips I've seen messages to and from girlfriends of his, inappropriate pictures on his phone, he blackened my eye last trip.
I want to cancel this sponsorship and divorce him but I guess my conflict is- is that fair to my daughter? He is a doting father to her every time we come although he has never helped with one red cent since her birth.
Should I let him come so my little one has a father or quit while I'm ahead?

 

[PMM]

Hi

I definatly could use some advice and I figured this was the best place to get it concidering most of you know how this process can be.
I have been married almost 3 years, my husband has been gone over 2 back to grenada. We have a 2 year old daughter together and only were married 7 months before he was asked to leave the country. This process is horrible as you all know but for me it's been a nightmare. I have travelled 3 times to bring my child to see her father. I have been treated with disrespect literally every time. On all 3 trips I've seen messages to and from girlfriends of his, inappropriate pictures on his phone, he blackened my eye last trip.
I want to cancel this sponsorship and divorce him but I guess my conflict is- is that fair to my daughter? He is a doting father to her every time we come although he has never helped with one red cent since her birth.
Should I let him come so my little one has a father or quit while I'm ahead?

1. Do you really want your daughter to grow up watching her father beat up her mother every so often, carouse with other women, live off you? If you answer that question with a NO, cancel the application. If you answer YES, I pity you and your daughter.

 

[mizzdanish]

I thank you for your blunt response, that is what I needed to hear right now. His family is all making me feel guilty about my daughter not having a father but your right. I believe its best to cancel it.

 

[scylla]

Also consider this: He gets PR, comes here, leaves you and then goes on social assistance. He won't have conditional PR which means you will be financially responsible for him for three years (without being able to cancel his PR) and will have to repay all of the money he receives in social assistance. Are you in the position to pay tens of thousands extra for the next three years to repay any social assistance he takes? What would this do to your life and your daughter's life?

Cancel the application immediately. You and your daughter deserve better.

 

[canuck_in_uk]

1. Do you really want your daughter to grow up watching her father beat up her mother every so often, carouse with other women, live off you? If you answer that question with a NO, cancel the application. If you answer YES, I pity you and your daughter.

Perfect response PMM.

 

[Mapleson]

It breaks my heart that you might feel guilty from the opinions of people that condone adultery and battery. As a stepfather, I know the type and the impacts on my daughter. He is a genetic contributor, but he is no real father. A father places his children ahead of his own pleasure. The sooner you move on, the sooner your daughter may have a father figure.

Good luck and be brave.