Advice for a stressed out sponsor.

[AngelB]

Hey everyone.

The change in the regulations has put some extra stress on me, and considering I have an anxiety disorder I'm sure you can guess how I've been feeling the past few days. If you could lend some advice, thoughts or even just kind encouragement I would be very grateful. I feel so inexperienced with all of this in the end, and I just want to make sure I am not misunderstanding anything I read here.

I GREATLY appreciate anyone who takes the time to read this.

Here is my story. I am a 22 year old Canadian, graduated from college, currently working. In May of 2009 I met my husband. We developed a relationship quickly. He was in the Marine Corps at the time, but we spoke for hours every single day. Some days we barely hung up the phone, literally staying connected for hours on end. We also chatted online and texted back and forth. He visited me in August for two weeks, and we only grew closer after he left. We got engaged close to the one year mark, and about a month later he was finally released from the Marine Corps on an honorable discharge. He came to visit for three weeks, and we were married. He then returned to his home in Savannah (United States) for a month, and came back to live with me and my family for another 2 months. We also went on a two week family vacation at this time. Three months after marrying, we finally received all our police checks and sent the application off.

Our evidence included four letters of support, all our phones bills (we didn't include text messages, thinking it wasn't necessary. I wish I included them now. It was a HUGE stack), pictures from every period in our relationship, vacations, marriage, family dinners, fishing trips, etc. Travel itineraries. Receipts. Plans for the future, planned trips.

I cannot imagine life without my husband, much like many here, so the thought of Immigration making a mistake terrifies me. Everyone's human, right? Every system has its flaws. What do you think? Do you think I have anything to worry about? I guess my biggest concern is that they won't like us having only been together a year and a month before marrying. How can they truly see the love between us to know that we are as genuine as it gets?

I feel a little stupid for being so insecure about all this, because I know my relationship is genuine. Again, any words of wisdom are greatly appreciated. I am about to go visit my husband in the states, and he's coming back for several months in December. We're planning on gathering more evidence in case they ask for it. Always take pictures, open up a join account, etc.

Thanks everyone.

EDIT: Background info on my husband: 21, former U.S marine (NEVER DEPLOYED), no medical problems, no criminal background.

 

[HoneyBird]

You are in a strong position heather from what you have detailed. Plus your husband is from a visa exempt country so that great as well.
You have nothing to worry about except understanding that you have the same wait as all of us. Painful but true. The best thing you can do is keep occupied which is what I have been doing, getting my certificates ready and even thinking about enrolling in a class...

Whilst I know that there are horror stories here, please be reminded that there are also wonderful tales here and please also remember that many people who dont get through are the ones that most likely join forums like this to get answers to difficult questions...think about it and you will realise that lots of people that joined and posted in the monthly threads have never come back after a while, my guess its people like that who got through and never bothered to let any one know...the ones that stick around like me are the ones that are waiting and waiting and complaining.
So do not be put off by the forum..its like a support group for the waiters :0

 

[AngelB]

You are in a strong position heather from what you have detailed. Plus your husband is from a visa exempt country so that great as well.
You have nothing to worry about except understanding that you have the same wait as all of us. Painful but true. The best thing you can do is keep occupied which is what I have been doing, getting my certificates ready and even thinking about enrolling in a class...

Whilst I know that there are horror stories here, please be reminded that there are also wonderful tales here and please also remember that many people who dont get through are the ones that most likely join forums like this to get answers to difficult questions...think about it and you will realise that lots of people that joined and posted in the monthly threads have never come back after a while, my guess its people like that who got through and never bothered to let any one know...the ones that stick around like me are the ones that are waiting and waiting and complaining.
So do not be put off by the forum..its like a support group for the waiters :0

Awwe, thank you so much for the response. You are right, he is from a visa exempt country so I should be grateful that the chances of him being considered for marriage fraud are much smaller. That brings me some comfort now that I realize it. And yes, everyone waits the same. We all have to endure the process. I am grateful for all the kind people I have met here and their sage advice. Thanks again. :3

 

[HoneyBird]

In many ways you are also lucky that he is
1. So close to you
2. Can visit you often
3. Phone calls cheap



Think about the hardships many face here..those with spouses in lets say India or Africa and you will see how lucky you are....there is no way you will get rejected. Trinidad where I am from example has a 30% rejection rate compared to Buffalo's 5%? And you will see how lucky you are as both of you are from 1st world countries..

Heather! lastly remember, only have positive vibes for your application. If you think negative things...a visa officer looking through your papers might twitch his nose at the same time you are having that negative thought and see something wrong...so only positive vibes girly!

 

[AngelB]

In many ways you are also lucky that he is
1. So close to you
2. Can visit you often
3. Phone calls cheap



Think about the hardships many face here..those with spouses in lets say India or Africa and you will see how lucky you are....there is no way you will get rejected. Trinidad where I am from example has a 30% rejection rate compared to Buffalo's 5%? And you will see how lucky you are as both of you are from 1st world countries..

Heather! lastly remember, only have positive vibes for your application. If you think negative things...a visa officer looking through your papers might twitch his nose at the same time you are having that negative thought and see something wrong...so only positive vibes girly!

You are absolutely right! SO many people go through so much stress in their own processes, and have to struggle harder because of where they came from. I had no idea Buffalo's rejection rate was that small. I hope it doesn't change much with these new regulations. Thanks again, and I will take your advice about the positive thinking.

 

[HoneyBird]

i read somewhere that 5% is the rate. you may want to double check to make sure!

 

[kelKel]

Angel based on the information you've sent in you will have absolutely no problem. The fact you're both from visa exempt countries is a bonus as well. Believe me I know how you feel. I have severe anxiety as well and this has almost driven me over the edge Nothing is 100% in this but I don't think you have anything to worry about! K

 

[AngelB]

Angel based on the information you've sent in you will have absolutely no problem. The fact you're both from visa exempt countries is a bonus as well. Believe me I know how you feel. I have severe anxiety as well and this has almost driven me over the edge Nothing is 100% in this but I don't think you have anything to worry about! K

Thank you so much, kelKel. Your words are very comforting. Being inexperienced here, It REALLY helps to hear these kinds of words from others.

 

[kelKel]

No problem. I'm new to this as well and am so worried about every little tiny thing. As someone older and wiser has told me. Basically once you send the application it is no longer in your control and in the hands of someone else so you have to try your best to forget about it (easier said then done). Our app won't be sent out until tomorrow and I really have to just let go because I still need to function and enjoy my life.

One foot in the past and one in the future means you're sh*****g on the present!

 

[kamal225]

Hello Angelb'
I will be telling you a big fat lie to say dont you worry and dont you care since i do care a lot and i feel your stress
however as others said to you you are very close to each others where you can see each other if you want almost every weekend and calls are cheap. in my situation only calls cost me a fortune where you pay half your income only on calls forget about any other expenses to follow the application.
you said you have send them a lot of proof for your relation so DONT YOU WORRY normally in your case even interview is waived and if they need to question more or have any doubts then they will ask for an interview and if there will be any stay calm and give more proof about how genuine your relation is.

try to stay focus on your future and stay busy I mean more school better job and so on and all the best and soon hopefully you will be together. all the best

 

[AngelB]

Hello Angelb'
I will be telling you a big fat lie to say dont you worry and dont you care since i do care a lot and i feel your stress
however as others said to you you are very close to each others where you can see each other if you want almost every weekend and calls are cheap. in my situation only calls cost me a fortune where you pay half your income only on calls forget about any other expenses to follow the application.
you said you have send them a lot of proof for your relation so DONT YOU WORRY normally in your case even interview is waived and if they need to question more or have any doubts then they will ask for an interview and if there will be any stay calm and give more proof about how genuine your relation is.

try to stay focus on your future and stay busy I mean more school better job and so on and all the best and soon hopefully you will be together. all the best

Thank you for your words. We actually are not close, and have been visiting every few months. He is over 1000 miles away by car, and we both work. It's definitely not easy. In case it helps anyone, Skype offers amazing deals on calling, including something called a Skype-To-Go number. Check it out if your phone bills are crazy!

 

[angelbrat]

Keep strong......aim for light at the end of the tunnel.....keep seeing your lives together when all this over.

The whole process is a stress minefield from start to finish.......

Good luck, from what you have told us, I don't foresee any problems for your approval.

 

[AngelB]

Keep strong......aim for light at the end of the tunnel.....keep seeing your lives together when all this over.

The whole process is a stress minefield from start to finish.......

Good luck, from what you have told us, I don't foresee any problems for your approval.

Thank you so much for your input and advice! I will work hard to keep the vision of us together at the forefront of my mind.

 

[spacey]

Angel, couldn't help but read and sympathize I am a real worrier with anxiety!
What you are feeling is normal and I am sure every sponsor on the thread as felt or is still feeling. I have been through this before with me being the applicant to the UK and wish I could say it felt different this time around. You have a great case, with what sounds like lots of evidence...
Only repeating what has already been said but chin up and hopefuly very soon will be able to breathe that sight of relief!

 

[AngelB]

Angel, couldn't help but read and sympathize I am a real worrier with anxiety!
What you are feeling is normal and I am sure every sponsor on the thread as felt or is still feeling. I have been through this before with me being the applicant to the UK and wish I could say it felt different this time around. You have a great case, with what sounds like lots of evidence...
Only repeating what has already been said but chin up and hopefuly very soon will be able to breathe that sight of relief!

Thank you for the supportive words, spacey. Anxiety is a very difficult thing to deal with, and sponsors and applicants alike seem swamped with it! I am starting to really feel better since everyone seems to agree that I shouldn't have any problems. Thank you!