You are right. I only want to be safe. Even though I cannot come directly, one thing is certain I will not be a liability to Canada. I will contribute to any place that offers me safety.
If I cannot find safety by the end of this year, a lot will be at stake, including my life, because suicide may feel like the only option. I cannot allow my family to feel ashamed just because of who I am, and I cannot bear the pressure from society and my family to get married. That pressure is too heavy, and without safety, I may not survive.
I have a small business here, so I am not hungry. But even as the company grows, I can no longer breathe freely. The expectations keep increasing. Imagine being forced to marry someone you do not love, while being unable to express your true sexuality. In my society, that would bring shame, or worse, I could be stoned, imprisoned for 14 years, or even killed. I have seen people like me exposed; many eventually died, and even then, their families were left to face the shame from the community.
I am sharing this in case anyone can offer me a genuine solution that is better than the plan I have imagined for myself.
Thank you to everyone for your support.