+1(514) 937-9445 or Toll-free (Canada & US) +1 (888) 947-9445

Anybody taking IELTS in Aug?

oltan

Newbie
Jul 28, 2009
9
0
Hi,

Please rate my essays Cambridge I practice test i task I & II. My aim is to score band 8. My previous score was 6.5.and I need 7.

________________________________________________----
The first chart shows us why adults pursue education and it is in percentage. The pie chart shows how the cost of this education should be paid.

According to first chart, adults pursue education mainly because of interest that is 40%, and secondly to obtain qualifications which is 38%. Around 22% of elders study as they think this study will be helpful for their present job. Elderly people decide to study to get job promotion. This is more or less equal to people who study just to enjoy, which is 20%. 9% of people study for changing their jobs in future. Only 9% of people study to meet people.

The pie chart shows that the individual is primarily responsible for the cost of education, which comes around 40%. The employer and the taxpayer 35% and 25% share remaining 60% of the cost respectively.
_____________________________________________

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need
music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the
International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

In this modern world there are various kinds of music. Music carries a very important role in everyone’s life. Each and every action is involved with sounds and music such as boiling water, shaking of leafs in the trees and water waves in the sea. Without music or sound we cannot live a life and it makes this world a beautiful place to live. Every region has its own music and it is definitely different from international music. Personally, I believe traditional music is very important than the international one as it maintains individuality and more vital for the society to revive in this fast world.

Traditional music usually explains about the particular region’s culture and customs. In this way one community can maintain their individuality and have their own uniqueness. For example, in my country there are various kinds of music such as classical music and karnatic music. These are definitely different from global music such as rap, pop or jazz and they leave the mark with originality. In this way, the society is prevented from extinction and will be able to survive for years. However in international music, there is no uniqueness and everything is the same..

On the other hand, international music acts as a passport to many countries. We can utilize this music to bring nations together and avoid cultural differences. This is a major plus point with global music. While listening to international music people can have variety of experiences and expose themselves to different cultures and traditions.

To conclude, though there are many kinds of music in this world, traditional music is better than anything else as it is unique and helps the society to survive against all odds.
 

djboom

Member
Jul 26, 2009
12
0
Here are the corrected sentences.

In this way, the tradition is prevented from extinction and...

While listening to international music people can expose themselves to different cultures and traditions.

To conclude, music is a part of everyday life. Traditional music should be given more importance and other

types of music should not be ignored.