Please help - REASONS FOR APPEAL ?

[cantleyangel]

Hello everyone,
I am a new member to this site but have been reading a lot and I have learned really interesting things. I am really hopeful that you guys can help me.

Here's our story... My future husband Patrick and I met in 2001 online in a chat site and remained friends since. We both had our lives at that time. I was in a another relationship, married, that was doomed from the start. To make a long story short, in 2005 my mariage has over. The divorce was finally granted August 2007.

So... back up a bit, in May 2006, Pat and I became closer and finally exchanged our true feelings. We have been together ever since.

I am trying to sponsor Pat as a conjugal partner because we never met in person, we are not common law or married... We provided the Embassy with what we thought was sufficient evidence; emails, pictures, letters from family members, msn messages, photocopies of letters in the mail, packages and money transfers from both sides from back in 2006 to 2008... The Embassy refused saying that Pat was just looking for canadianship (which could not be further from the truth). We talk everyday, many times a day. Can anyone please help ? What can we provide more ? I am appealing but my time is running out...

Thanks so much for all your help.
Lynn

 

[GK]

So you have never lived together, never met and you are not married. Believe me, it won't fly. I'm sorry to break the news.

You best path to success is to either meet and get married, or live together for minumim of 12 months. Then you can sponsor him.

 

[canthai]

cantleyangel,
Sorry but GK's right. Proving that you are conjugal partners is impossible unless you two cannot EVER physically be together due to impassable conditions. Check out this thread for a better explanation...

http://www.canadavisa.com/canada-immigration-discussion-board/-t6105.0.html

canthai

 

[Lois Lane]

Your best bet would be to spend as much time as possible with him. Travel to visit him a couple of times if possible. Get married and then reapply as a spousal application.

The best of luck!

 

[cantleyangel]

Hi everyone,

Thanks so much for your advise. I really appreciate it. Then I guess appealing would be a waste of time? Well, we are planning to visit this December. So like you mentionned, this is the start on the right road.

Do you know what reasons would be acceptable to provide when Sponsoring your family member? ex; including pictures, letters from family members acknowledging our relationship,...

Thank you.
Lynn

 

[Empenguin]

Hi,

I'm curious-- what photos can you you provide so far as evidence if you haven't met him? They certainly can't be photos of the two of you together, and that's what you will need.

As others have said, get married, or live together for a year. Best of luck!

 

[RobsLuv]

I don't agree at all with the "just jump in and marry him so you can sponsor him" bit. Where is this guy from? How come you guys have never met, in all this time? I just don't get it.

 

[Empenguin]

I do echo RobsLuv's sentiments. I didn't mean "just go and get married or live together" as a means for immigration, rather, those are technically the two paths that are possible. It definitely is unusual, and a concern that he wants to immigrate to Canada, even though you two have never met.

 

[cantleyangel]

Hi again,
I understand your concerns. Here's the story )
We met online back in 2001 and kept in touch through the years. Pat is from Cameroon. We had our separate lives then, both in relationships. I got married here in 2003 to my ex, was a disaster from the get go, separated "emotionally" 2005 - meaning there was no more love.

Pat and I became closer over the years - from the day we met I knew he was different. In may 2006, we both expressed our desires and love to be together. Either he was coming here to Canada or I was gonna try to go to Cameroon, but I have children with another father so... I was going through a very messy divorce with an ex doing everything to complicate things and I was on disability leave due to extreme anxiety attacks because of him. I finally got my divorce in Aug 2007. Because of the attacks, I could not travel and because the divorce was not finalized, Pat and I thought best for him not to come at the time. Then we applied for the visa, and waited for an anwser... and time went on and here we are.

I hope this clears it up!
Lynn

 

[RobsLuv]

The bottom line, Lynn, is that you really don't know this person. God forbid he has "courted" you for no reason other than to get a ticket to Canada. I'm sorry, because I know that might seem really insensitive of me, but you have to know that such things happen all the time.

I met my Love online. too, so I am not unfamiliar with or skeptical about the possibility that you can know someone better having met them online than you'd ever know them meeting them at a local bar or in a class or at church. But my now-husband and I always knew that we could not possibly make a commitment to each other until we met in person - chemistry is a really important part of a relationship. We also both had children from our previous marriages and we were always careful to consider the impact a potential relationship between us would have on them. They had to come first. Up until we finally met in person, and I got to really observe his character and integrity, had my future husband proposed the idea of trying to sponsor me to Canada, I would have flat out refused. And I would never have asked him to put himself out there trying to sponsor me to Canada until we knew for sure that we had a relationship that was going to work for the long haul.

In filing a sponsorship application, you're committing to your government that you will support and be responsible for this person for three years after he comes to Canada - whether he stays with you or not. If he comes to Canada and doesn't like where you live or what you look like, he can bail in a second, apply for social assistance, and leave you holding the bag! You may sincerely believe you can trust him enough that he won't do that - but he can't possibly have given you enough reason to trust him that much. I'm sorry, but seriously, this looks like the classic set-up and, bottom line, you and this man do not have a relationship that qualifies him as a family class applicant. He is not your family - and he is not your conjugal partner. If he really wants to come to Canada to be with you, he should apply as a Skilled Worker or a Business Class entrepeuner. He could have been working on that all this time and been here by now, instead of expecting you to go out on a limb for him to get him to Canada the easy way.

Honestly, I say this with all the compassion in the world because I totally "get" where you're coming from. You are sincerely and totally in love with someone who (finally) treats you with respect and makes you feel wonderful - but that's really easy to do from within a computer. You are lucky things worked out the way they did. Don't waste your time or your money on an appeal - and as much as it's going to hurt, don't waste any more of your life on this person, no matter how compelling, $exy, and seemingly compassionate he seems. For now, he is only someone who lives in your computer and he has not been required to completely reveal himself to you. Get some counseling first, to make sure that you're emotionally healthy enough to be making such a commitment. If you can't do it for yourself, do it for your kids. It's their life, too.