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IELTS - Writing - For Band 7 or Above.

Vvek

Star Member
Jul 16, 2018
107
39
@cansha Please have a look at this also.
You recently organized an all-day meeting for your company, which took place in a local hotel. In their feedback, participants at the meeting said that they liked the hotel but they were unhappy about the food they were served.


Write a letter to the manager of the hotel. In your letter

· Say what the participants liked about your hotel

· Explain why they were unhappy about the food

· Suggest what manager should do to improve the food in the future

Write at least 150 words

You do not need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear sir or Madam,

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to you to express my dissatisfaction with the food that was served for lunch during an all- day meeting that was organized in your hotel on 23rd April.

After the meeting was concluded, we had a feedback session with the participants. They were all impressed by the modern infrastructure of your hotel and also the dining hall that was facing the lake. Apart from the scenic beauty inside and outside the hotel, conference room and seating arrangement in your hotel was one of the best in the town as claimed by the participants.

However, a lot of the participants were unhappy with the quality of food they were served, especially lunch. They felt that the dishes were stale and rather smelly. This made them feel rather unhappy since they were really expecting delicious food.

Although this is the only time we have encountered such an issue, this has made a very bad impression of your hotel among the attendees. It would be great if you could personally visit the main kitchen and see if the quality of the food has been compromised. As a manager, you should strictly instruct the purchasing and cooking departments to ensure quality of the foods purchased and prepared.

I hope you would consider my suggestions and I look forward to an excellent meal and hospitality in your hotel in our next meeting.

Yours faithfully,

Bibek Sigdel
 

demingeorge

Newbie
May 22, 2019
2
0
Dear @cansha Kindly delve into this essay and please let me know how I can improve.

Students are over loaded with home work nowadays from school. Rather than home work some believe that school should focus and give more time to other activities which will help them in their growth as by the over burden they lose their skill and abilities.
Do you agree or disagree?



Children are the building blocks of the future. It is essential that the children must receive their primary education by attending a school, therefore building their emotional and intelligent quotient to survive in this competitive world. However, despite their classwork, many teachers assign homework for them too, which I think is unnecessary because it is not only a burden for students, but also demotivates them to build their extra-curricular skills.

Nowadays, children are keener on being proactive on their skills and abilities despite of their hectic classwork. Children admire fame, talent and the success of many teenage artists, entrepreneurs, businessmen, etc. and therefore, they work hard to develop their skill. Even though education is a necessity, the school must support a child to escalate his skills by arranging multi-disciplinary clubs so that the students have a chance to showcase their skills and be confident to enhance it, since no one can predict who the next Steve Jobs or Michael Jackson is.

However, while most of the parents foresee their child’s skills and motivates them, some parents ignore their child’s extra-curricular talent and demotivate them to pursue a career in what they are passionate about. This trend is seen, perhaps, due to the fear of their child failing in this modern world. Furthermore, when a student spends the most time on their skills in spite of their failing grades, is a questionable scenario because the hectic educational practices not only help them to be intelligent, but also make them better in multi-tasking, time-management and stress.

To recapitulate, I think the school must provide students with challenging classwork along with other activities to develop their extra-curricular skills, avoiding the burden of doing extra homework.
 

Aruntocanada

Star Member
Feb 21, 2016
158
28
NOC Code......
0124
In many countries, the rich are becoming richer and poor are becoming poorer. Why is this a problem? What solutions are there to tackle this problem?

Economic gap between rich and poor is widened in numerous countries like never before due to uneven opportunities of education and business available for both these groups. There are certain ways namely high taxing and discounted education seems reasonable to address this concern.

To begin with, poor people cannot really afford higher education for their kids, which is usually expensive, hence their kids fail to secure a well paying job later in life. Furthermore, they cannot even invest funds in order to establish a business which can enable them to earn a decent income. Therefore, they continue to be stuck in the never ending cycle of poverty. Conversely, affluent people can usually afford best of the education for their kids which set a successful career path for them. Also, since they have huge sum of money at their disposal, they can invest in different businesses and can earn multi-fold returns.

To address this concern, Government must apply high taxes rate to the rich group of people and utilize that collected surplus fund to provide concession on studies for poor kids. This will help them to acquire relevant study and certification to secure a well paying profession. Additionally, they should chart out and execute loan schemes particularly for poor audience to propel any business they wish to setup which will help people who are willing to start a small business such as cafes, grocery store etc and can lead to decent income.

In conclusion, poor group can neither afford higher education nor invest in businesses to improve their financial situation, however government can elevate tax rate for rich people and pump that money for discounted studies and encourage people by funding to start small business. These resolutions are quite effective as it will make wealthy group to contribute more towards society and poor ones can capitalize on new opportunities available to become financially sound.

Dear All - please share your feedback if this can get 7?

Thanks
 
Last edited:

cansha

VIP Member
Aug 1, 2018
6,675
5,853
Hi @cansha I know you might be extremely busy these days, but I would really appreciate if you could have some thoughts over my essay. I have been trying to figure out the structure and have been a silent follower of this thread. This is the first essay I have written after taking into consideration the suggestions provided in this thread. I would also be thankful if you could provide an estimated band score based on your experience. I am witing the exam on 24th of July.

Some people say that we can see films on our phones or tablets, there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema.

Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
.
Welcome to this thread! Good to know that you have followed the thread and incorporated feedback already in writing. So let's review the essay.

Topic is nice!


People have different preferences regarding the modes on which movies can be watched. Some are of the opinion that films can be watched on our phones or tablets instead of cinema halls, while others feel that watching movies in a film hall can be more enjoyable. Although it is sometimes fine
to watch movies on a mobile phone, I believe that it can never meet the level of enjoyment that can be achieved in a cinema.
Okay good intro.

On the one hand, those who prefer to watch films on a phone might argue that it is the most cheapest most is redundant when you say cheapest and convenient means.
This may be because they do not have to visit expensive cinema halls and can watch movies wherever they like. So I like ideas in both sentences but I think it would be better if you wrote them as your arguments and not third party arguments. For example, the use of may be in this sentence. It makes reader feel like you are shooting in the dark and not making an argument.

For example, people can watch movies while commuting, lying in a bed or even in a bathroom. What they need is just a mobile phone with sufficient charge and a movie downloaded in the phone. As a result, they can watch an entire movie without wasting any money and productive time which does not seem to be possible in cinema halls. It got a little repetitive by the last line but still the idea is clear to me. So good.

On the other hand, others including myself, believe that movies should be watched in cinema halls because they are specially designed to make film watching experience extremely pleasurable. In other words, Seems like you have not been following my feedback. Point 2.2 https://www.canadavisa.com/canada-immigration-discussion-board/threads/ielts-writing-for-band-7-or-above.540392/page-90#post-7568485
cinema halls are often equipped with high-definition massive screen and extra-ordinary I get the idea but not really the right word choice sound system, which aids in movie watching experience. These modern technologies and equipment are not available in mobile phones. Therefore, people tend to feel satisfied after watching movies in a multiplex so your argument won't be true for single screen? cinema halls as it brings complete value for money. Slight issues but ideas is very clear. So good.

In conclusion, although watching movies on mobiles and tablets are quite cheap and does not take dedicated time, It does take dedicated time but yeah I know what you want to say that you don't have to stick to show schedule but this point wasn't really crystal clear even in your BP I do feel that it is not entirely enjoyable. In order to get the most out of the movies, I firmly believe that it should be watched on a big screen with surround sound See you don't mention surround sound in your BP. Now do you expect reader to know that when you say extra ordinary sound it means surround sound?? which is only possible in cinemas.

There are issues in the essay but they are not really glaring. This could be written a little bit tighter but overall it was an easy read. I'm not sure was it because the topic was relatively easier. In any case arguments made sense and the flow was good. We will have to see some more topics to know whether you are able to do that in more challenging topics.

But you crossed the most difficult hurdle in this one i.e. making sense and Task Response. I can see a 7 for this one. All the best!
 

cansha

VIP Member
Aug 1, 2018
6,675
5,853
@cansha Please have a look at this also.
You recently organized an all-day meeting for your company, which took place in a local hotel. In their feedback, participants at the meeting said that they liked the hotel but they were unhappy about the food they were served.


Write a letter to the manager of the hotel. In your letter

· Say what the participants liked about your hotel

· Explain why they were unhappy about the food

· Suggest what manager should do to improve the food in the future

Write at least 150 words

You do not need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear sir or Madam,

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to you to express my dissatisfaction with the food that was served for lunch during an all- day meeting that was organized in your hotel on 23rd April.

After the meeting was concluded, we had a feedback session with the participants. They were all impressed by the modern infrastructure of your hotel and also the dining hall that was facing the lake. Apart from the scenic beauty inside and outside the hotel, conference room and seating arrangement in your hotel was one of the best in the town as claimed by the participants.

However, a lot of the participants were unhappy with the quality of food they were served, especially lunch. They felt that the dishes were stale and rather smelly. This made them feel rather unhappy since they were really expecting delicious food.

Although this is the only time we have encountered such an issue, this has made a very bad impression of your hotel among the attendees. It would be great if you could personally visit the main kitchen and see if the quality of the food has been compromised. As a manager, you should strictly instruct the purchasing and cooking departments to ensure quality of the foods purchased and prepared.

I hope you would consider my suggestions and I look forward to an excellent meal and hospitality in your hotel in our next meeting.

Yours faithfully,

Bibek Sigdel
There are a few minor things that can be adjusted but overall I think this letter had what was required from task 1. It should be good enough on exam day as well. All the best!
 

cansha

VIP Member
Aug 1, 2018
6,675
5,853
Dear @cansha Kindly delve into this essay and please let me know how I can improve.

Students are over loaded with home work nowadays from school. Rather than home work some believe that school should focus and give more time to other activities which will help them in their growth as by the over burden they lose their skill and abilities.
Do you agree or disagree?

.
Welcome to the thread!

Children are the building blocks of the future. It is essential that the children must receive their primary education by attending a school, therefore building their emotional and intelligent quotient to survive in this competitive world. However, despite their classwork, many teachers assign homework for them too, which I think is unnecessary because it is not only a burden for students, but also demotivates them to build their extra-curricular skills. Okay the introduction is good if you were writing an essay for your school exam. BUT sadly, IELTS is a standardized exam and expects introduction to be written a certain way. One of the key points being a direct paraphrasing of topic line. I would suggest read a little more on IELTS task 2 and expectations from it.

Nowadays, children are keener on being proactive on their skills and abilities despite of their hectic classwork. Children admire fame, talent and the success of many teenage artists, entrepreneurs, businessmen, etc. and therefore, they work hard to develop their skill. Even though education is a necessity, the school must support a child to escalate his skills by arranging multi-disciplinary clubs so that the students have a chance to showcase their skills and be confident to enhance it, since no one can predict who the next Steve Jobs or Michael Jackson is.

However, while most of the parents foresee their child’s skills and motivates them, some parents ignore their child’s extra-curricular talent and demotivate them to pursue a career in what they are passionate about. This trend is seen, perhaps, due to the fear of their child failing in this modern world. Furthermore, when a student spends the most time on their skills in spite of their failing grades, is a questionable scenario because the hectic educational practices not only help them to be intelligent, but also make them better in multi-tasking, time-management and stress.

To recapitulate, I think the school must provide students with challenging classwork along with other activities to develop their extra-curricular skills, avoiding the burden of doing extra homework Writing one line conclusion is a dangerous thing. Refer to my post here for more common mistakes https://www.canadavisa.com/canada-immigration-discussion-board/threads/ielts-writing-for-band-7-or-above.540392/page-90#post-7568485
 

demingeorge

Newbie
May 22, 2019
2
0
Welcome to the thread!

Children are the building blocks of the future. It is essential that the children must receive their primary education by attending a school, therefore building their emotional and intelligent quotient to survive in this competitive world. However, despite their classwork, many teachers assign homework for them too, which I think is unnecessary because it is not only a burden for students, but also demotivates them to build their extra-curricular skills. Okay the introduction is good if you were writing an essay for your school exam. BUT sadly, IELTS is a standardized exam and expects introduction to be written a certain way. One of the key points being a direct paraphrasing of topic line. I would suggest read a little more on IELTS task 2 and expectations from it.

Nowadays, children are keener on being proactive on their skills and abilities despite of their hectic classwork. Children admire fame, talent and the success of many teenage artists, entrepreneurs, businessmen, etc. and therefore, they work hard to develop their skill. Even though education is a necessity, the school must support a child to escalate his skills by arranging multi-disciplinary clubs so that the students have a chance to showcase their skills and be confident to enhance it, since no one can predict who the next Steve Jobs or Michael Jackson is.

However, while most of the parents foresee their child’s skills and motivates them, some parents ignore their child’s extra-curricular talent and demotivate them to pursue a career in what they are passionate about. This trend is seen, perhaps, due to the fear of their child failing in this modern world. Furthermore, when a student spends the most time on their skills in spite of their failing grades, is a questionable scenario because the hectic educational practices not only help them to be intelligent, but also make them better in multi-tasking, time-management and stress.

To recapitulate, I think the school must provide students with challenging classwork along with other activities to develop their extra-curricular skills, avoiding the burden of doing extra homework Writing one line conclusion is a dangerous thing. Refer to my post here for more common mistakes https://www.canadavisa.com/canada-immigration-discussion-board/threads/ielts-writing-for-band-7-or-above.540392/page-90#post-7568485

Thanks for the review. I shall work on it. :)
 

Maddy612

Star Member
Feb 26, 2019
68
1
Dear @H0peAndFa1th and @cansha and other experts, could you guys please evaluate my task 1 and 2? I shall be obliged, thank you.


Task 1:

You saw an advert in the newspaper asking for volunteers to help run a charity event.

Write a letter of application to the organizers. In your letter:

- Explain why you are interested in helping

- Give details suitable past experience

- Suggest ways you might help with the event

Total Words: 159

Dear Mr. Mark,

I am writing with regards to the advertisement published in today’s newspaper where you asked for volunteers for a charity event. I am interested in becoming a volunteer and be a part of this event.

I went through the advertisement and realized that you are holding this event for persons with disabilities. This compelled me to show my interest as I always wanted to help this vulnerable group of the society.

My previous experience of working with persons with disabilities in an international organization makes me eligible for the task. I performed several duties in that organization including organizing events, developing advocacy campaigns and managing internal / external coordination.

Considering my previous experience and linkages with the organizations working for persons with disabilities, I can also bring potential donors for the event. Simultaneously, I will be able to perform aforementioned tasks with due diligence.

Hoping to hear from you soon.

Thank you

Best Regards

Madeeha Syed






Task 2:

For centuries, important parts of education have remained such as reading, writing and Maths. With the advent of computers, some people think that computer skill be made as a fourth skill to be added to the list.

To what extent do you agree? (Reported 2017)

Total Words: 334

Historically examining the curriculum, it is observed that reading, writing and mathematics were considered as the most significant courses and skills. Whereas, with scientific development, computers were invented, which is considered as a fourth important skill by many. They believe that it should also be introduced as a fourth skill in the curriculum or education system. I strongly agree that it should be introduced as part of education because students should acquire skills associated with changing times and future demands. In this essay, I will discuss this phenomenon.

Education plays an important role in developing children into future leaders and workforce of any country. It is of utmost importance to equip them with the knowledge which must be applicable in their practical life. Therefore, learning computer skills which they can execute in future is substantial. My sister teaches computer skills in a school, I once went to her class to ask about an issue I was facing in my word document. I was surprised to see a student from her class who came forward and solved the issue. Hence, in future, these students will be able to perform much better than us because the knowledge has been inculcated in them at an early stage.

Generations who were introduced with the computer skills while they were already in the workforce usually face many problems. I belong to a generation who was not taught about this skill in school or college, therefore, I was reluctant to adapt plus took longer time to learn. Due to this, a lot of time was wasted which I could spend in a productive manner. Nevertheless, introduction of computer skills in education system has become unavoidable.

To conclude, adding computer skills in curriculum just like reading, writing and mathematics is the need of the time. It cannot be overlooked; it will help children learning the skill which they will definitely utilize in market. However, not adapting with the changing times and reluctance to adopt will keep us behind many forward-thinking nations.
 

DaveZM

Member
Nov 7, 2016
16
3
You guys should focus on stay on topic in task 2. The paragraphs need to have an itro sentence, evidence and an example. I improved my score from a 6 to a 7 by focussing on that.
 

DaveZM

Member
Nov 7, 2016
16
3
I only got 7 in writing(twice), but here my opinion on task 2.

Dear @H0peAndFa1th and @cansha
Task 2:

For centuries, important parts of education have remained such as reading, writing and Maths. With the advent of computers, some people think that computer skill be made as a fourth skill to be added to the list.

To what extent do you agree? (Reported 2017)

Total Words: 334

Historically examining the curriculum, it is observed that reading, writing and mathematics were considered as the most significant courses and skills.
Very confusing sentence. Keep it simple. for example: Computer skills have become an important part of people's career.

Whereas, with scientific development, computers were invented, which is considered as a fourth important skill by many.

eg: Many people believe that in addition to Math, reading and writing, knowledge of information technology should be included as a fundamental part of our education.

They believe that it should also be introduced as a fourth skill in the curriculum or education system. I strongly agree that it should be introduced as part of education because students should acquire skills associated with changing times and future demands. In this essay, I will discuss this phenomenon.

eg: This essay will discuss why I strongly believe that the ability to use fundamental software suites should be included as the fourth educational achievement.


Education plays an important role in developing children into future leaders and workforce of any country. (this could have worked as first sentence of the essay. You are not introducing what you are talking about). It is of utmost importance to equip them with the knowledge which must be applicable in their practical life. (another introductory sentence?) Therefore, learning computer skills which they can execute in future is substantial.(you are giving reason without and intro sentance that mention computers) My sister teaches computer skills in a school, I once went to her class to ask about an issue I was facing in my word document.(this is a good examples but first you should say what are the benefit of knowing how to use a computer) I was surprised to see a student from her class who came forward and solved the issue. Hence, in future, these students will be able to perform much better than us because the knowledge has been inculcated in them at an early stage.

Too confusing and too personal in my opinion. Keep it about other people and you should work on ur grammar. You never stated if you agree or disagree



Generations who were introduced with the computer skills while they were already in the workforce usually face many problems. I belong to a generation who was not taught about this skill in school or college, therefore, I was reluctant to adapt plus took longer time to learn. Due to this, a lot of time was wasted which I could spend in a productive manner. Nevertheless, introduction of computer skills in education system has become unavoidable.

To conclude, adding computer skills in curriculum just like reading, writing and mathematics is the need of the time. It cannot be overlooked; it will help children learning the skill which they will definitely utilize in market. However, not adapting with the changing times and reluctance to adopt will keep us behind many forward-thinking nations.
I feel this is a 5 because u failed on saying to what degree you are favourable or against the issue. Watch the E2 language video on task 2. Keep it simple. You vocabulary range is quite good.
If this was a "give your opinion essay" this could have probably been a 5.5.

Only my opinion
 

DaveZM

Member
Nov 7, 2016
16
3
In many countries, the rich are becoming richer and poor are becoming poorer. Why is this a problem? What solutions are there to tackle this problem?

Economic gap between rich and poor is widened in numerous countries like never before due to uneven opportunities of education and business available for both these groups.(run on sentence) There are certain ways namely high taxing and discounted education seems reasonable to address this concern.(this sentence should have been like this: There are certain ways to address this concern, namely high taxing and discounted education.)

To begin with, poor people cannot really afford higher education for their kids(use children, child or offspring, never use kids! NEVER), which is usually expensive, hence their kids fail to secure a well paying job later in life( good intro sentence but the last clause stop the rithm of the reading. After a "which" clause stop the sentence.) Furthermore,(I feel you did not give any strong reason and you jump ahead of the problem) they cannot even invest funds in order to establish a business which can enable them to earn a decent income. Therefore, they continue to be stuck( wtf! too informal, use blocked or stopped) in the never ending cycle of poverty. Conversely, affluent people can usually afford best of the education for their kids which set a successful career path for them. Also, since they have huge(large) sum of money at their disposal, they can invest in different businesses and can earn multi-fold returns.

To address this concern, Government must apply high taxes rate to the rich group of people and utilize that collected surplus fund to provide concession on studies for poor kids. This will help them to acquire relevant study and certification to secure a well paying profession. Additionally, they should chart out and execute loan schemes particularly for poor audience to propel any business they wish to setup which will help people who are willing to start a small business such as cafes, grocery store etc and can lead to decent income. ( this sentence is a mess)

In conclusion, poor group (of what? of people? " the poor group of the population"?) can neither afford higher education nor invest in businesses to improve their financial situation,(full stop----> new sentence) However government can elevate tax rate( if this is your main solution I could not find too much discussion on it in ur paragraph) for rich people and pump(too informal, use push ) that money(the money shouldnt be there at all) for discounted studies and encourage people by funding to start small business. These resolutions are quite effective as it will make wealthy group to contribute more towards society and poor ones can capitalize on new opportunities available to become financially sound. (good end sentence, but financially sound is not the right terminology in my opinion)

Dear All - please share your feedback if this can get 7?

Thanks
I got 7 twice, so I m not an expert.

I believe your essay will get 5 or 5.5. Need to work on punctuation and sentence structure. In addition, you should present much stronger reasons and examples.
 
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Maddy612

Star Member
Feb 26, 2019
68
1
I only got 7 in writing(twice), but here my opinion on task 2.


I feel this is a 5 because u failed on saying to what degree you are favourable or against the issue. Watch the E2 language video on task 2. Keep it simple. You vocabulary range is quite good.
If this was a "give your opinion essay" this could have probably been a 5.5.

Only my opinion

Thank you for your time and input, just to mention, i did write it twice that i strongly agree :)

I will work more on my writing, thanks.
 

Ria-sharma

Star Member
Jul 14, 2019
106
20
Hello, I have my exam on july 27. If you have time than Kindly look at my essay and score it @cansha

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.


The modern technological inventions have revolutionised the entertainment industry. While some believe that we no longer have to visit a movie theatre as in recent times people can watch movies on their own mobile devices, I side with those who feel that in order to completely appreciate a film it should be watched in a cinema.

On the one hand, smartphones and tablets are considered to be a more convenient option for watching films. It is argued that people can watch any movie at any time according to their own convenience through these mediums. Moreover, as these devices are portable, so these can be used to watch films almost anywhere. People can get immersed in any movie story while commuting on a train or even while sitting outside a doctor's clinic, for instance. Thus, it is claimed that it is a better way to watch movies because unlike a theatre visit, people do not have to spare time to see a film on their phones and tablets.

Others, however, myself included, argue that going to a theatre to watch a movie is a more effective way. This is because people go to movies for relaxation, thus, they want it to be a completely uninterrupted experience so that they can just sit back and enjoy the picture. However, this exclusive experience is often not possible while watching movies on portable electronic gadgets as people usually get disturbed by any call or messages during movie streaming. Moreover, the big-screen and better sound quality of movie theatres are also some essential attributes, which can make a movie interesting. Hence, to get a fully enjoyable outcome, movies should be seen in multiplexes.

In conclusion, although it is undeniable that watching movies on smartphones or tablets is rather convenient, I still believe to completely feel the film and enjoy it one must go to the cinema to watch it.
 

DaveZM

Member
Nov 7, 2016
16
3
Hello, I have my exam on july 27. If you have time than Kindly look at my essay and score it @cansha

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.


The(not necessary) modern technological inventions have revolutionised the entertainment industry. While some believe that we no longer have to visit a movie theatre as in recent times people can watch movies on their own mobile devices, I side with those who feel that in order to completely appreciate a film it should be watched in a cinema.( this sentence is a mess, you should structure it like this: While some think xy is good, some other believe that xy is no longer needed.)

On the one hand, smartphones and tablets are considered to be a more convenient option for watching films. It is argued that people can watch any movie at any time according to their own convenience through these mediums. Moreover, as these devices are portable, so these can be used to watch films almost anywhere. People can get immersed in any movie story while commuting on a train or even while sitting outside a doctor's clinic, for instance. Thus, it is claimed that it is a better way to watch movies because unlike a theatre visit, people do not have to spare time to see a film on their phones and tablets.

Others, however, myself included,( use others or however, I dont think both sound good) argue that going to a theatre to watch a movie is a more effective way. This is because people go to movies for relaxation, thus, they want it to be a completely uninterrupted experience so that they can just sit back and enjoy the picture. However, this exclusive experience is often not possible while watching movies on portable electronic gadgets as people usually get disturbed by any call or messages during movie streaming. Moreover, the big-screen and better sound quality of movie theatres are also some essential attributes, which can make a movie interesting. Hence, to get a fully enjoyable outcome, movies should be seen in multiplexes.

In conclusion, although it is undeniable that watching movies on smartphones or tablets is rather convenient, I still believe to completely feel the film ( "believe in" not "to". Also "feel the film" is a weird terminology. you could say " still belive that in orther to be completelly immerse in the movie) and enjoy it,(comma) one must go to the cinema to watch it.
Not bad, what did you get in previous ielts?

Try to read ielts essay and books.
 
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Ria-sharma

Star Member
Jul 14, 2019
106
20
Not bad, what did you get in previous ielts?

Try to read ielts essay and books.
Thanks a lot, actually I have major time managing issues while writing. Always struggling to write an essay on time this one I managed to write in 40 mins didn't proofread though
Is this clause ok for the last sentence? , I still believe that for enjoying it thoroughly, one must go to the cinema to watch as they are well equipped for making the movie-watching experience more pleasurable.
Previous Score Band 7 in writing