Let me begin by thanking you for your contributions to this forum; it was extremely helpful to me when I was going through a very difficult time with my soon-to-be-ex-husband last year. I would like some insight into my situation and will try to keep this brief but thorough. I have been learning so much about the immigration process, and knowledge is never a waste.
I am Canadian-born, mother to two wonderful kids; a young son from a prev. marriage and a younger daughter from this marriage. They are my priority first and foremost, and my joy. My soon-to-be-ex is from Ghana and does not have his PR, though he has been trying. Let's call him Ex for simplicity.
Ex and I met 4 years ago and I thought I had met the man of my dreams. He seemed very committed to me and my son, impressed me with his views and goals, and seemed to want the same things as I did. I am not usually one to move fast in relationships but it just seemed right to me. We married, began the sponsorship process (to bring his two kids over since he was missing them so much), and had our daughter soon after getting together. The next couple of years we were busy of course, but I felt inside that something wasn't right.
March 2009 I discovered some illicit computer activity that showed he was trying to meet other women and I felt like I'd been kicked. He denied meeting anyone and was extra attentive and loving, which he had not been in so long. I trusted my instincts and began investigating. It wasn't long before I discovered what he was really up to. While I was taking care of our kids, working full time, and trying to keep the spark alive in my marriage, he'd had an agenda. I was devastated but knew i had to be smart about it in order to protect myself and my kids. Here is a timeline that I have pieced together based on what evidence I found.
2004- Ex arrives in Canada. Claims to be from a different country than Ghana.
2005- Ex is denied refugee status, and appeal. Issued removal order.
2005- Ex's wife back home gets divorce for him.
2006- meets me and my son
2007- marries me , starts sponsorship, and daughter is born.
2009- sponsorship goes to local office, Ex meets women from dating site, and is unfaithful.
2009- we separate, I cancel sponsorship, and find out his kids were on it, though he told me they weren't. Removal order still in effect.
2009- Ex finds out I cancelled spon., comes to my house yelling and very angry, won't leave when asked, police are called.
2009- CBS calls my number looking for him and wants to make sure his travel docs are in order. When I ask about H & C and likelihood of him staying, she says it won't make much difference.
2010- Ex has the kids once per week for 2 hours, situation quiets down. Ex wants overnight visits with daughter, but not son. Will meet with lawyers soon.
He has maintained to our lawyers there is no removal order on him, and has continued to lie to everyone. I do understand his desire to get his children here and give them a better life, I just don't think deception and using our kids and me to do it was warrented. If he were a good man then it wouldn't be such an issue, and I assure you this isn't about vengeance. It is about a man who has a history of deceit with Immigration, and everyone else from here to there.
I have to screen daycare workers, babysitters, and anyone who comes in contact with my kids, but because he's the dad his character is irrelevant? Not to mention a possible flight risk to take my daughter should he desire to. He's here illegally, what does he have to lose?
Thank you for taking the time to read this and any insight would be so very appreciated.