How long should someone wait to order CAIPS notes? I received my AOR on March 31 (which said they received my application on Jan 26), but my eCAS has not changed to in process yet... Should I order them, or would it be useless at this point?
It probably wouldn't tell you too much just yet, but that may depend on whether your application is actually "in process" now or not, and where it is in the queue. As an example, my consultant received my AOR (by email I believe) on December 14. My notes say that on December 15, they determined our relationship is "bona fide" and waived my interview, and (supposedly) sent out an IA.
Normally CAIPS notes aren't of huge value to you unless: 1) you haven't received an IA for some reason (you still have time for that yet), 2) you sent documents and want to make sure they were attached to your file properly, 3) they request an interview and you want to know why, or 4) your application has been in process for a rather long time (relatively).
But if you wanted to order them anyway, there's nothing stopping you. There's a 4-6 week wait for them anyway. My request for them was received on March 16 but they were stamped April 18, so for all I know it took them that long just to get around to printing them out anyway.
This is getting REALLY frustrating. Last night I had my first real breakdown over this whole process. All this waiting & worrying is exhausting.

Yeah...

it's rough, there's no denying that. I just came off my... probably fourth? breakdown in the span of a week, just before reading your post. It would be one thing if this was all we had to worry about (as important as it is), but add onto this very major concerns about finances, my health, issues with my sister (whom I can't even help because of money and distance), my dealing with losing my best friend recently... Something's gotta give. You just have to do what you need to do to hang in there and make sure that that "something" isn't you.