Sponsoring husband from Morocco

[Habibti]

Thank you for your concerns!  I am just afraid that if he is not there for me, for the sake of our marriage, it will be worst when he is here.  Imagine this... he will face many obstacles that might depress him:  looking for employment, adjusting to a new mentality, missing his family and his friends, living in a totally different environment, etc.  He told me he is like this.  Each time he is under pressure or stress, he shuts down.  This is not marriage to me.  When you feel down, you should not push away your partner because your partner might feel down too.  There is no way I can call him.  Like I said in my previous post he lost his mobile phone.  Even though there was possibility to call him, I would not call him.  He is the one who rejected me last night.  He does not have regular Internet connection at home, he often goes to a cyber.  We know that Rabat received our file when we checked the status of our application on the CIC website.  You can log in with your client ID number.  We saw this message:  "Your file was received in Rabat on March 31, 2011".  And I also received letter from Mississauga to inform me that I was approved as a sponsor and that my file was being transferred to Rabat. Yes, you are a man and you are so right to say that the more I stay away from him, the more he will miss me lol

[Futurista]

Hi Habibti -

I am truly sorry for what you're going through.  This process is difficult enough as it is for you, and it takes two to make the process work.  Aside from this process, I agree that it takes two to make a lifetime of great memories and a marriage work. 

You've already spoken to your husband about how he deals with stress and how it affects you.  Is this something you think he takes seriously, or something you think he can work on?

Futurista

[gladiateur19]

Thank you for your concerns!  I am just afraid that if he is not there for me, for the sake of our marriage, it will be worst when he is here.  Imagine this... he will face many obstacles that might depress him:  looking for employment, adjusting to a new mentality, missing his family and his friends, living in a totally different environment, etc.  He told me he is like this.  Each time he is under pressure or stress, he shuts down.  This is not marriage to me.  When you feel down, you should not push away your partner because your partner might feel down too.  There is no way I can call him.  Like I said in my previous post he lost his mobile phone.  Even though there was possibility to call him, I would not call him.  He is the one who rejected me last night.  He does not have regular Internet connection at home, he often goes to a cyber.  We know that Rabat received our file when we checked the status of our application on the CIC website.  You can log in with your client ID number.  We saw this message:  "Your file was received in Rabat on March 31, 2011".  And I also received letter from Mississauga to inform me that I was approved as a sponsor and that my file was being transferred to Rabat. Yes, you are a man and you are so right to say that the more I stay away from him, the more he will miss me lol

well the only thing i can say right now,is that he is your husband and i think you know him better then anybody else,and you are a mature woman and you know what is good and what is bad,,,i do agree with you,he shouldn't push you away when he is depressed and stressed,that's not a marriage,a marriage is an union,a couple has to share everything and talk about everything,,,i was going to say give me his number if you want me to talk to him or something,but since he has lost his mobile,then i think it's not possible,,,
i hope you both make things work out

[dair2dv8103100]

OK... maybe I am just getting confused or I am just tired...

If my husband sends the medicals fast as his Dr says he can for 300Dh... it will still take 3 months??

and if it does then what is the point of sending it fast if the criminal and security checks take 4 months...

grrr I am in a bad mood today with all of this...

[CharlieD10]

OK... maybe I am just getting confused or I am just tired...

If my husband sends the medicals fast as his Dr says he can for 300Dh... it will still take 3 months??

and if it does then what is the point of sending it fast if the criminal and security checks take 4 months...

grrr I am in a bad mood today with all of this...

Deep breaths, grasshopper.   You are over-thinking everything right now.  It doesn't necessarily have to take 3 more months.  You don't know how much progress has been made in the processing of the background, security and criminal checks.  Also, remember they run concurrently, not consecutively.  You DO want everything done as quickly as depends on you, so that whatever remains to be done is not held up by your lack of action.  Also, count the remaining weeks as a blessing, you have a lot to do to get ready for your reunion, you will be surprised at how quickly it all goes and then you're faced with the reality of him being there and the next phase begins.

[rjessome]

OK... maybe I am just getting confused or I am just tired...

If my husband sends the medicals fast as his Dr says he can for 300Dh... it will still take 3 months??

and if it does then what is the point of sending it fast if the criminal and security checks take 4 months...

grrr I am in a bad mood today with all of this...

The doctor sends the medical results to Paris.  The VO requests the results electronically from Paris WHEN THEY ARE READY TO DO SO.  Let the doctor send them.

[dair2dv8103100]

The doctor sends the medical results to Paris.  The VO requests the results electronically from Paris WHEN THEY ARE READY TO DO SO.  Let the doctor send them.

Yes... but the Dr told my husband can give her 50dh and she will send it regular .. or he can pay her 300dh for her to send them fast.

I am skeptical of this just as a money grab because the embassy can take as long as they like to order the medical whether it is sent fast or not to France.

[dair2dv8103100]

Deep breaths, grasshopper.   You are over-thinking everything right now.  It doesn't necessarily have to take 3 more months.  You don't know how much progress has been made in the processing of the background, security and criminal checks.  Also, remember they run concurrently, not consecutively.  You DO want everything done as quickly as depends on you, so that whatever remains to be done is not held up by your lack of action.  Also, count the remaining weeks as a blessing, you have a lot to do to get ready for your reunion, you will be surprised at how quickly it all goes and then you're faced with the reality of him being there and the next phase begins.

Yes...you are quite right. I got thinking about all the things that have to be done here for his arrival and how much adjusting there will have to be done. I am just frustrated with the fact that in Morocco everyone SAYS "this can be done fast if you give me more money" when in reality it is just a scam. My poor husband wants to spend the 300dh because he thinks this will speed it up...but I am very skeptical of this. To me it just sounds like the Dr wants to make some extra cash. Because no matter how fast she sends the medical to France... the embassy will order it when they want... does not make a difference.

Oh well... time to go do some cleaning to burn off the energy...

[CharlieD10]

Yes...you are quite right. I got thinking about all the things that have to be done here for his arrival and how much adjusting there will have to be done. I am just frustrated with the fact that in Morocco everyone SAYS "this can be done fast if you give me more money" when in reality it is just a scam. My poor husband wants to spend the 300dh because he thinks this will speed it up...but I am very skeptical of this. To me it just sounds like the Dr wants to make some extra cash. Because no matter how fast she sends the medical to France... the embassy will order it when they want... does not make a difference.

Oh well... time to go do some cleaning to burn off the energy...

Yup, tell him to pay the standard fee and not a penny more.  He can put the extra into his "moving expenses kitty".

I run, and walk.  I have a tiny apartment so cleaning it takes no time.  All my extra energy goes into kms, LOL. 

[Habibti]

Hi Habibti -

I am truly sorry for what you're going through.  This process is difficult enough as it is for you, and it takes two to make the process work.  Aside from this process, I agree that it takes two to make a lifetime of great memories and a marriage work. 

You've already spoken to your husband about how he deals with stress and how it affects you.  Is this something you think he takes seriously, or something you think he can work on?

Futurista

I tried a few times in the past and I tried again tonight.  We were looping.  He thinks I am wrong.  He thinks I should not complain about him.  We did not talk on msn,  just sending emails back and forth as I did not have the heart to talk to him on msn since he slammed the door in my face last night.  I am just disheartened right now.  I lost my drive to be with him.

[Habibti]

well the only thing i can say right now,is that he is your husband and i think you know him better then anybody else,and you are a mature woman and you know what is good and what is bad,,,i do agree with you,he shouldn't push you away when he is depressed and stressed,that's not a marriage,a marriage is an union,a couple has to share everything and talk about everything,,,i was going to say give me his number if you want me to talk to him or something,but since he has lost his mobile,then i think it's not possible,,,
i hope you both make things work out

Thanks again!  I really appreciate you take the time to answer me and that you are willing to talk to him.  I really appreciate it.  For now, I just feel completely disheartened.  I am at my lowest right now.  I got a migraine all day and I did not accomplish much.

[dair2dv8103100]

I am feeling for you a lot habibti... sending you my best thoughts and prayers. Truly in the end you must do what is best for you and your son... he is the first man in your life and the one you must think about and make the best decisions for. I appreciate where you are at in days like these.

I will be here to support you no matter what decision you make.

[dair2dv8103100]

Yup, tell him to pay the standard fee and not a penny more.  He can put the extra into his "moving expenses kitty".

I run, and walk.  I have a tiny apartment so cleaning it takes no time.  All my extra energy goes into kms, LOL. 

I put my back out right at the beginning of my cleaning session... this was enough to bring me to tears after my day of frustration.

Now I am just numb again...

[ddobro2]

Go to another doctor if possible and report this lady. Jeez, is this rashwa stuff this prevalent in Morocco?!

Yes... but the Dr told my husband can give her 50dh and she will send it regular .. or he can pay her 300dh for her to send them fast.

I am skeptical of this just as a money grab because the embassy can take as long as they like to order the medical whether it is sent fast or not to France.

[dair2dv8103100]

Go to another doctor if possible and report this lady. Jeez, is this rashwa stuff this prevalent in Morocco?!

They told him to go to same Dr. and there is only 3 Drs in Rabat that the embassy accepts..  

This is the way it is in Morocco... everywhere.