MY FIANCEE IS 20 YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME..............PLEASE ADVISE

[Nancy]

HI,

I HAVE BEEN MSN A MESSAGE TO ME THAT SOMEONE IN THE UK WAS TURNED DOWN BECAUSE HER HUSBAND WAS 20 YEARS YOUNGER THAN HER AND HE WAS DENIED TO LIVE WITH HER IN THE UK.

YES MY FIANCEE IS MAN AND HE IS 2O YEARS YOUNGER THAN MYSELF, FOR US AGE DIFFERENCE DOES NOT MEAN A THING FOR US. WE LOVE EACH OTHER MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD AND HAVE PLANS ON GETTING MARRIED IN MARCH OR APRIL.

I AM SO AFRAID OF THE GOVERMENT CHOOSING MY LIFE FOR ME AND DENYING MY HUSBAND TO COME TO CANADA TO LIVE WITH ME AND MY SON.

I KNOW EACH COUNTRY HAS THERE DIFFERENT POLICIES. I FEEL THAT IS NOT RIGHT THAT THE GOVERMENT GETS TO CHOOSE OUR LIFE EVEN IF THERE IS NO AGE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ANY OF US. HOW EVER THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO TELL US THIS.

I KNOW IF THE *censored word*ES WHERE REVERSE NO ONE WOULD THINK TWICE OF THE AGE DIFFERENCE BECAUSE IT IS OK FOR A MAN TO MARRY SOMEONE YOUNGER THAN HIM. BUT WHEN IT IS A WOMEN WHY DOES IT MATTER.

AGE FOR MYSELF AND MY FINACEE DOES NOT EVEN ENTER INTO OUR LOVE FOR EACH OTHER AND I KNOW THERE WILL BE TIMES THAT I AM SURE THAT WE WILL BE STARED AT OR EVEN SPOKEN ABOUT BEHIND OUR BACKS.

HAS ANYONE BEEN THROUGHT THIS KIND OF THINGS OR MARRIED TO SOMEONE THAT IS MUCH YOUNGER THAN THEM. HAVE YOU BEEN APROVED AND OR HAVE YOU BEEN DENYIED BECAUSE OF YOUR AGE DIFFERENCE.

IF ANYONE CAN HELP ME ON THIS PLEASE LET ME KNOW. I AM VERY SCARED ABOUT THIS. HOWEVER IF IT NOT GOING TO AFFECT ME IN GETTING MARRIED TO HIM AND STILL TRYING TO BRING HIM HOME WITH US TO LIVE.

SCARED.

[Yasmina/isabelle]

Hi
WEll i have a friend and she did get her husband in her country and he is at least 20 years difference from her. as long u proove u are in a real relationship...
where is your fiancee from?

[Canadian-loyal]

Hi
Every immigration case is individual and unique. You shouldn't compare one case with another. However, because of too many spouse immigration scams, CIC will certainly look closely to your case. His country of origin is a factor. His social background, education, earning and motivations are considered. So, to make it short, don't be scared but be prepared for uphill struggle.
best wishes

[Nancy]

THANK YOU TO YOU BOTH,

MY FIANCEE LIVES IN MOROCCO, REGARDLESS WITH HURTLES WE MAY HAVE TO FACE DO TO THIS. IT IS ALL WORTH IN THE END. WE ARE BOTH MADLY IN LOVE AND WE HAVE FOUND EACH OTHER SOUL MATE. I AM NOT AFRAID TO PROVE HOW MUCH WE LOVE EACH OTHER, WE AM ALSO WILLING TO DO ANYTHING JUST TO BE TOGETHER. WE HAVE WRITTEN 100'S OF EMAILS, TEXT MESSAGE AND PHONE CALLS TO EACH OTHER.

I AM AWARE THAT OUR AGE DIFFERENCE WILL BE LOOKED AT. BUT I LOVE HIM MORE THAN ANYTHING AND I KNOW HE FEELS THE SAME ABOUT ME. WE BOTH KNOW THAT WHEN WE ARE FINALLY ARE TOGETHER THAT PEOPLE WILL PROBABLY NOT ALSO FEEL THAT OUR MARRIAGE IS NOT RIGHT. BUT WE DON'T REALLY SEE AGE BETWEEN US. WE ONLY LOOK FORWARD TO OUR FUTURE AND RAISING MY SON, OR AS MY FIANCEE SEZ OUR SON.

i FEEL BETTER KNOWING THAT THERE IS OTHER COUPLES WITH A AGE DIFFERENCE HAVE BEEN ACCEPTED BY CANADA.

I FIND IT NOT FAIR THAT ALL OF US, NOT EVEN WITH AGE DIFFERENCE HAVE TO PROVE OUR LOVE FOR OUR HUSBANDS. LIKE EVERYWHERE ELSE THERE IS MANY THAT HAVE ABUSED THE SYSTEM, WHICH HAS ONLY MADE IT MORE DIFFICULT FOR US THAT TRULY WANT TO BE WITH OUR SPOUSES OR PARTNERS.

THANK YOU AGAIN

[maroraza]

Hi,
 Actually for them age diffrence isnt matter but they concern that relationship is true or not because so many people use fake marriages now a days to live and work in better country so this is what they afraid in this case other wise they have no problem if some one fall in love with older one,
now a days so many people do like paper marriages and these marriages only take place in embassy Paper work to get visa and for this often people pay money to a person who help them out to get into better country then they living ,hope you understand why they have concern about it , but you can apply if you realtionship is 101% true they are not able refuse you on grounds of age difference as you always has right to re apply for your Fiancee so go ahead and submit application and goodluck

[Yasmina/isabelle]

Hi Nancy wish u the best of luck my husband is a moroccan also but we are the same age .
You will love morocco its so beautifull country and the people are the best!!

[Nancy]

Thankyou again,

I know I will love Morocco and can hardly wait to be with my fiancee and his family. I have met 2 of his family on web cam. His mother sez hi to me very often.

I am getting very excited about going there and spending a whole month with him. Even if paper work is fast and we are able to get married with in the 2 weeks. We want to have more time just to be together as we know we also have long wait ahead of us again.

I truly hope that I can come out there again in the summer and bring my son or as my fiancee sez our son. I want our son to see Morocco also and beable to meet his family and beable to spend more time with my fiancee he will be husband then. I want him and son to meet in person, as they get along so well on on internet and web cam. I know my son care for him very much also. However my son is a little jealous because he has had mom to himself for 9 years and now he has to share me. He is a little nervous about that part. I cannot say I blame him,but as I tell him I need my fiancee as much as he needs me. He understands that part. So if he can go to Morocco in summer it will be easier adjustment when he can finally come home to Canada with us.

I am just blubbering here, I am just getting very excited to finally be with my sould mate. I thankyou all so much for your words. I hope and pray that all goes well for all of you also wating.

Inscha allah

Nancy

[travel_fan]

Hi Nancy;

I am married to a Moroccan (who successfully immigrated to Canada 6 months ago via a spousal sponsorship).  He has a Moroccan friend in our city (who he met after he arrived) who is married to a woman 17 years older than him.  They had no problems with their spousal sponsorship - which happened about a year and a half ago.  His wife has 2 children who are in their 20's  - so I think it came down to how they were able to prove the genuiness of their relationship.  I don't know the details of their story - but I do know they met online.

You need to document your relationship as it progresses - and when you are together in Morocco.  Everything will be important when it comes to you submitting your application. 

All the best,

Tracy

[LCS]

hi Nancy,
My husband is also much younger than me and we are in a real marriage as well. All you have to do is provide all the evidence they want that your relationship is valid. Your holiday photos together, wedding photos, emails, cards, telephone cards or bills, money that may have been sent, anything showing ongoing interconnected lives.
They just want to see this. You should not be afraid if you have nothing to hide and can give them these items, which will be returned to your sponsor after they have used them.
LCS

[jlbme]

I am sponsoring my partner who is 22 yrs my junior, ours is lesbian so we only have the option of applying as conjugal.

but we had a rather unusual experience in the interview, the interview commented on our different cultures and that the pope says we are against god's law.

then he made comment about our age difference being a bit much, in the same breath told my partner (of five years) that there was 20 years difference between he and his wife. 

If you can make sense of that lol you can figure out the this whole immigration process lol


bottom line is they want to know if the relationship is real or just to get into the country, proof as much as possible and keep in the back of your mind it will be a pain, but you do have the right to appeal. We can only hope it isn't required.

good luck

[TaaDow]

Age is no factor at all... That being said, if there is a large difference it will make the Visa Office take a slightly closer look.

I just finished approving a case with a 35 year difference, it wasn't a factor at all because there was plenty of evidence that it was a true relationship. But we definately asked a few more questions then we may have otherwise.

[tamee]

taadow go aprove my case  please  lol im missing my hubby something fierce....j/k :)

[Gotchaa]

TAADOW u seems to be working for CIC. If that is the case then plz tell us why CIC takes so long for spousal sponsorship cases? infact most of the applicants will understand time taken to investigate and scrutinize the case thoroughly which is CIC's right, but when asked for a reason for delay why do we get vague cold replies from CIC? Why cant CIC inform the applicants of the true reason for delay? This will surely lessen the agony of the applicants trust me on that!

[TaaDow]

I do work for CIC... CPC-Mississauga to be exact.

The primary reason for delays is the sheer volume of applications. We simply do not have the staff or budget to process any faster.

Over the past 10 years our office has more than tripled in size but the volume of applications also keeps rising. With each staff member expected to screen 10-15 cases per day and a staff of almost 120, we still barely manage to keep the backlog from growing.

Currently we're processing FC1 cases (spouses, children) approx 30 days after they are received but parental cases (FC4) currently have a 2 year backlog, meaning we are now processing cases received back in early 2006.

Another factor is that as more and more people find ways to abuse our immigration system, we become forced to take greater precautions and thus must screen each case in even more detail then we used too. We used to accept a lot of information at "Face Value", but now that has come back to bite on the behind, so we must now seek Proof of all claims and we have to do thourough background checks for criminality, welfare use, outstanding immigration loans, financial claims etc...

And that's just on our end... if you're unlucky enough to be trying to come through the New Delhi, Beijing, Hong Kong or Buffalo visa offices, you're likely to experience even more delay since these are the offices with the highest volumes (especially New Delhi).

Anyway, hope this helps to explain some delays.

[tamee]

thank you Taadow, it does help me understand and i hope it gives not only me but all of us a little more patients and empathy when it comes to the immigration process. thank you for your invaluable input on this site, as well as everyone who has helpful input, thank you everyone.

[Canadian-loyal]

I do work for CIC... CPC-Mississauga to be exact.

I am curious. Are CIC officers allowed to get involved in such immigration forums.... Not only this buta also to admit frankly their work and work place?

[hoping75]

It is really a great help to get answers from someone who is directly involved in the process. I have seen many of TaaDow's answers, and he or she, has been a great asset to this Forum.

[Gotchaa]

I must thank you for your detailed and comprehensive reply. It does help me to soothe out a bit and seems like my patience level for waiting has gone up! Just wanted to share my experience about how Islamabad embassy is processing my case. I received AOR in late January 2007 and I had an interview around late September 2007. I have provided every document to their satisfaction and didn't get it back for resubmission or something. I received a phone call after one month of my interview to submit some more information which I did the very next day. After one month again I received a phone call  for the same request! I humbly explained that I have sent you a letter with the information and have also got confirmation receipt from the courier company that it has been delivered to the right place with name of the recipient and time. However, I sent the same letter again and faxed the delivery confirmation receipt for the record. I have two concerns with this procedure with all due respect. Firstly, isn't it contrary to CIC's policy not to disclose any information over telephone to the applicants yet to ask personal information regarding the case through same medium? Secondly, wouldn't it raise doubts in the minds of the applicants towards the credibility of the staff to waste one month while the information has been delivered and still I have no prove if they got it again or not? I got double bad luck since my application is being processed through Islamabad and my medical file was sent to New Dehli and you have already informed that New Dehli is among the slowest due to heavy load of applications. Islamabad itself seems to be among the slowest as well. Upon my recent query about status of my case I was given a reply that my case is under review with the senior officer and they will contact me for further  instructions once senior officer has reviewed the case so I should wait patiently. Cant applicants be told the specific reason for delay? is it because they might try to manipulate something to speed up the process? for instance, if embassy has sent a letter to any local authority for some background check and waiting for a reply, an applicant might approach the department and bribe someone to either send a favorable reply or quick reply. Is that why it is kept secret? I do appreciate the fact that due to fraud and forgeries thousands of immigrants have abused the Canadian immigration system. But mostly it seems that genuine people are scrutinized to the fullest and yet maybe denied eventually after a long waiting. On the other hand, those who have ill intentions are still going to Canada much more quickly than the deserving ones. I have heard of sister sponsoring her brother as husband! which is gross but then those who have immoral approach for their vested interests are making it harder for genuine, sincere, honest applicants. And CIC instead of deporting such fraudulent people later on, gets more vigorous with honest applicants. This is my opinion and could be wrong. If CIC denies my application after more than a year I have nothing else to do but to go throw yet another agonizing process of appeal. Cant they sent a letter to the applicant indicating that application apparently has been accepted but we have to make certain check before issuing you a visa and it will take this much time? this way the applicant is satisfied that his case has been accepted subject to certain formalities. For example, police verification. The applicant is sure he has no police issue either in the past or present so it will be resolved eventually. But the one who does have a police issue will try to do something about it and might make a mistake and get caught in his own trap. similarly medical report from new dehli is taking long due to heavy load of application so please rest assured that your application has been principally accepted subject to clearance of your medical. In case applicant knows he has some major decease which might hinder his visa will know that before hand, vice versa someone who knows he has no medical issues will wait patiently and happily that he will have the visa eventually. But this uncertainty and then sudden death decision after such a long waiting is very devastating. Some applicants reach to the point of just having the decision no matter what it is rather than going through this waiting game. Sorry for writing so long but I couldn't resist pouring my thoughts out. Thanks for bearing me everyone.

[TaaDow]

I am curious. Are CIC officers allowed to get involved in such immigration forums.... Not only this buta also to admit frankly their work and work place?

While I'm sure it's not encouraged, and we do have rules about giving legal advise, I simply try to provide a service that makes both our lives easier. You'll note that I never provide legal advise in my responses and everything I offer are to be taken as Suggestions and it is all information that is publicly available. You will also note that my profile contains no personal information or contact information that could identify me, and I work in an office of 140 or more staff, so identifying me through my posts is unlikely. Even in our written communications with sponsors and other clients, we only use initials which we have been assigned to identify ourselves (these are not usually our actual initials).

So I feel I've met the obligations of my position and will continue to provide suggestions that will help your processes and hopefully make my job just a little but easier.

NOTE: a few members of this forum have attempted to contact me through private messages with questions, I have not and will not respond to these as they tend to be requesting much more specific/legal advise and I will not provide that service as per my position with CIC. If you cannot get the information you need here or from the CIC website, I suggest contacting a local community immigration centre or an immigration lawyer depending on your situation.

but then those who have immoral approach for their vested interests are making it harder for genuine, sincere, honest applicants.

Truer words have never been typed... it's unfortunate... and I'll be the first to admit that our system for removal of those here illegally is very broken, but also very difficult to fix. One look at how other countries, with similar governing bodies to that of Canada, deal with illegal immigration proves there is no simple answer.

[Canadian-loyal]

I am curious. Are CIC officers allowed to get involved in such immigration forums.... Not only this buta also to admit frankly their work and work place?

While I'm sure it's not encouraged, and we do have rules about giving legal advise, I simply try to provide a service that makes both our lives easier. You'll note that I never provide legal advise in my responses and everything I offer are to be taken as Suggestions and it is all information that is publicly available. You will also note that my profile contains no personal information or contact information that could identify me, and I work in an office of 140 or more staff, so identifying me through my posts is unlikely. Even in our written communications with sponsors and other clients, we only use initials which we have been assigned to identify ourselves (these are not usually our actual initials).

TaaDow

Do you have membership in other forums? Do you answer and help members there as well?

[TaaDow]

I've stopped by a couple other boards, but I find this one has the most traffic and the greatest variety of questions of those I've seen... not crazy about the fact that it's tied to an immigration lawyer/consultant, but that's another issue, but at least it's Cohen and I've had very few problems with him... ALTHOUGH I WISH HIS OFFICE WOULD STOP PUTTING PAGE DIVIDERS AND PROTECTIVE COVERS ON EVERYTHING, WE JUST REMOVE AND TRASH THESE AND IT'S A WASTE OF OUR AND YOUR TIME.

See another noted suggestion... if you include any binders, protective covers, page seperators etc... these will be removed and either trashed or the employee will keep them if they're worth re-using. I've obtained some beautiful photo albums and decorative binders in this way. So please, save yourself and my staff some time and cost and don't add these items... oh and don't give us Musical Cards and CD/DVD's, these cannot be sent overseas and will either be destroyed (if a copy) or returned to the sponsor.

If you can recommend other sites I'd definately go take a peak. I don't really devote a lot of time to this as it's just to kill time, and once I'm home I don't think about work issues any more.

[Misanthrope]

> If you can recommend other sites I'd definately go take a peak. I don't really devote a lot of time to this as it's just to kill time, and once I'm home I don't think about work issues any more.

Wow, so what you're saying is you surf these sites at work to kill time?  I thought you people were super, super busy and overloaded down at CPCM and any other CIC office.  How very odd.

[BerER]

if you include any binders, protective covers, page seperators etc...

I did use file folders with nice labels to seperate all my forms and documents. I guess they were removed at CIC-M. I just wanted to keep things clear and organized. But you think that is a totally waste of time. Anyhow, I think I got a good agent, and my file was forwarded to an oversea office in July, 08.

I'm just curious if the folders were removed, can you guys put those documents in the same order as I proposed? If not, how can you orangize our files? Will you send all the paper in our applications to an oversee office (buffalo, in my case)? Do I need to check with Buffalo office to see if there was anything missing?

[frolic]

Great advice.  Really there is no reason to do anything fancy but provide info. 

What would a normal, nothing extra, typical application look like and how would it be organized is what I wonder?  I have my stack of paper and am trying to keep it organized as best I can but with all the extra things you have to include like photos one wonders how to package it all.