I am a Canadian and my SO is an American. We met 5 years ago this coming Wednesday. But for the first 1.5 years I couldn't do anything about it other than some harmless stalking because she was the sister of a client and also a client of the firm I contracted too.
Once I stopped my contract job I pursued her with a vengeance. I had all but given up and was making plans to move to England when she came to her senses as I like to call it. So we have been common-law for 2.5 years now.
We sent the VO our car titles, LLC documents, mortgages, trust documents and utilities accounts and anything pre-dated the relationship. Plus more email, telephone, text, etc. We had also had done our wills and joined more finances but that waited until she had retired.
We were very quiet about our relationship to her acquaintances and workmates as we both do church work and she could have lost her job. We live in Louisiana and there is are large amount of homophobia and she is at the top end of the social scale here and her crowd is nuts. My family and friends have know for years. And some in fact helped me in my stalking endeavors (kids don't try this at home).
Sorry you are dealing with this. Just curious about a few things: you`re a U.S. citizen, correct? How long have you two been together? What were the pieces of evidence for the relationship that you included in the application? And referring to the cavity search: WTF? Seriously? Are we talking dental cavities or bodily orifices?