Domestic violence and PR status

[Simon123]

Hi guys,

i have a urgent question for all of you who are in canada..

My sister-in-law got married to a guy in canada in 2009 and is living at his home in Toronto from last 1 year. They treadted her well for first 6-7 months but from what i heard today .. the guy has started beating her up (mainly due to his frustrations ).. she is very young around 23 and doesn't work so was keeping everything to herself .. until yesterday when she called me all crying ..

My first question is  - How can i report to the domestic violence dept of Toronto ..  if any such situation arises .. i am in US.

second question - She has her PR from last one year .. is she by anyways dependent on her husband?

third  - We have recently got our PR and are still waiting for our cards which are addressed to her house .. so can we somehow change our PR card adddress

please let me know soon .. we are desperately waiting for our PR cards so that we can go to Canada and help her out in someway

[asyousuf]

Hi guys,

i have a urgent question for all of you who are in canada..

My sister-in-law got married to a guy in canada in 2009 and is living at his home in Toronto from last 1 year. They treadted her well for first 6-7 months but from what i heard today .. the guy has started beating her up (mainly due to his frustrations ).. she is very young around 23 and doesn't work so was keeping everything to herself .. until yesterday when she called me all crying ..

My first question is  - How can i report to the domestic violence dept of Toronto ..  if any such situation arises .. i am in US.

second question - She has her PR from last one year .. is she by anyways dependent on her husband?

third  - We have recently got our PR and are still waiting for our cards which are addressed to her house .. so can we somehow change our PR card adddress

please let me know soon .. we are desperately waiting for our PR cards so that we can go to Canada and help her out in someway

Der. Below ar my view and replies
1. It is better that she reports to the police. U being representative may not be able to prove anything unless she is willing to .

2. After PR, she is independant now and carries right like any legal resident in the country equally.

3. To change the address for PR, u can always contact the authorities to apply for the change. This may cause some delay in your PR processing but legal way outs are always there

Gud luk
asyousuf

[Pippin]

Find out where your sister can go for safety.  Does she have friends where she can stay.  Contact a Women's Centre near her or her family doctor for advice.  She should have a plan in place before she goes to the Police as this action is the smart thing to do, but may result in further violence.  I wish you all the best.

[mperei02]

Dear Friend it is very sad for your sisters situation...not worth it...ask you  sister to call

The National Domestic Violence Hotline at:1-800-363-9010

Ask her to request confidentiality...acess to Social Worker in her local hospital/police...long run this will help to sue that *censored word*...dont worry she needs to SAY someting and make the call....she will get all the help...


http://www.apwld.org/pdf/DV_legislation_Canada.pdf

Above info received from friend SW from Canada...cheers

God Bless

Manny

[slavasz]

Read here http://www.tahirih.org/mission/the-issues/
They are in the States, but I think they can give an advice about Canada too.

[Simon123]

Thanks a ton mperei02 ,

The hotline no. Just i was looking for ... i will have her memorize this .. and will get her ready for the plan ..
right now i am not able to talk to her as her in-laws keep saying that she is asleep and all other cell phones goes to voice mail... will again try in the morning

I am little worried right now as the last words i heard was when she told my husband (her brother) that she cannot bear the pain from the beating and wants some money to go back to india to her parents ..

i swear if i were in Canada i would have made the guy beg for his life from my sister-in-law .. but i know she is alone right now and without any money .. so i am restricting myself to anything that will make them mad at her

Dont know why people become so crazy

Dear Friend it is very sad for your sisters situation...not worth it...ask you  sister to call

The National Domestic Violence Hotline at:1-800-363-9010

Ask her to request confidentiality...acess to Social Worker in her local hospital/police...long run this will help to sue that *censored word*...dont worry she needs to SAY someting and make the call....she will get all the help...


http://www.apwld.org/pdf/DV_legislation_Canada.pdf

Above info received from friend SW from Canada...cheers

God Bless

Manny

[WaitingPR]

Dear Simon,

I really feel sad about your sister-in-law. In case she is so badly beaten and nobody letting you talk to her, I would advise that you call the hotline number at canada and let them have it check for you about her safety. Somebody needs to go and check on her. If you dont have any relative there, I think you should call some other social service number or police number to check on her.

God keep her safe from these sick people.

[mperei02]

Dear Simon,

I am a SW working in Trauma...worked on lots of DV cases some of the reasons are

There is no such thing as a ‘typical' perpetrator of domestic violence. However, researchers have found that men who abuse family members often:
 Use violence and emotional abuse to control their families.

Believe that they have the right to behave in whatever way they choose while in their own home.

 Think that a ‘real' man should be tough, powerful and the head of the household. They may believe that they should make most of the decisions, including about how money is spent.

 Believe that men are entitled to sex from their partners.

Don't take responsibility for their behaviour and prefer to think that loved ones or circumstances provoked their behaviour.
 Make excuses for their violence: for example, they will blame alcohol or stress.

 Report ‘losing control' when angry around their families, but can control their anger around other people. They don't tend to use violence in other situations: for example, around friends, bosses, work colleagues or the police.

 Try to minimise, blame others for, justify or deny their use of violence, or the impact of their violence towards women and children.


If you are concerned for her saftey you can call the hotline and seek help on Canada Hotline or USA 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) dont worry of the consequences...it better to live alone than with ashole...we dont get life back...also the earlier the better to avoid life long scar....

Cheers mate...see if this works or you can call Canadian Embassy in USA talk to them about confidentiality and ask them the procedure...surely it done without making your sisters family aware..

Take care God Bless

Manny

Thanks a ton mperei02 ,

The hotline no. Just i was looking for ... i will have her memorize this .. and will get her ready for the plan ..
right now i am not able to talk to her as her in-laws keep saying that she is asleep and all other cell phones goes to voice mail... will again try in the morning

I am little worried right now as the last words i heard was when she told my husband (her brother) that she cannot bear the pain from the beating and wants some money to go back to india to her parents ..

i swear if i were in Canada i would have made the guy beg for his life from my sister-in-law .. but i know she is alone right now and without any money .. so i am restricting myself to anything that will make them mad at her

Dont know why people become so crazy

[slavasz]

The worst thing for your sister-in-law is to go to India. She will less protected there even with her parents.
The best advice is to call that hot line. If she cannot do that you call yourself.

[mperei02]

There is no need to go to India...all western countries havestate funding for relocation of women in DV...we in Australia follow and work on same policies that in Canada, NZ, USA and UK....

[qorax]

Dear Simon,

I am a SW working in Trauma...worked on lots of DV cases some of the reasons are

There is no such thing as a ‘typical' perpetrator of domestic violence. However, researchers have found that men who abuse family members often:

1. Use violence and emotional abuse to control their families.

2. Believe that they have the right to behave in whatever way they choose while in their own home.

3. Think that a ‘real' man should be tough, powerful and the head of the household. They may believe that they should make most of the decisions, including about how money is spent.

4. Believe that men are entitled to sex from their partners.

5. Don't take responsibility for their behaviour and prefer to think that loved ones or circumstances provoked their behaviour.

6. Make excuses for their violence: for example, they will blame alcohol or stress.

7. Report ‘losing control' when angry around their families, but can control their anger around other people. They don't tend to use violence in other situations: for example, around friends, bosses, work colleagues or the police.

8. Try to minimise, blame others for, justify or deny their use of violence, or the impact of their violence towards women and children.


If you are concerned for her saftey you can call the hotline and seek help on Canada Hotline or USA 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) dont worry of the consequences...it better to live alone than with ashole...we dont get life back...also the earlier the better to avoid life long scar....

Cheers mate...see if this works or you can call Canadian Embassy in USA talk to them about confidentiality and ask them the procedure...surely it done without making your sisters family aware..

Take care God Bless

Manny

Good job there -- very well posted !
Qorax

[mperei02]

Thanks Qurox...means a lot comming from you...

[qorax]

Hi guys,

i have a urgent question for all of you who are in canada..

My sister-in-law got married to a guy in canada in 2009 and is living at his home in Toronto from last 1 year. They treadted her well for first 6-7 months but from what i heard today .. the guy has started beating her up (mainly due to his frustrations ).. she is very young around 23 and doesn't work so was keeping everything to herself .. until yesterday when she called me all crying ..

My first question is  - How can i report to the domestic violence dept of Toronto ..  if any such situation arises .. i am in US.

second question - She has her PR from last one year .. is she by anyways dependent on her husband?

third  - We have recently got our PR and are still waiting for our cards which are addressed to her house .. so can we somehow change our PR card adddress

please let me know soon .. we are desperately waiting for our PR cards so that we can go to Canada and help her out in someway

Hi,

The situation she is into is deeply regretted... however, pls note that u don't need to call any particular No./Cell/Dept. for seeking help under such duress -- Toronto Police is all u need to call for any assistance in such a situation as well. 911 is all u need. They have, in fact all Toronto Police Divisions have, specifically trained officers [& a separate cell] to deal with DV cases.

Here in Canada DV is a serious offence -- the benefit of doubt remains with the female/s. And the Police take the male member/s of the family into severe task - big time! the following occurs when she calls [even if it's u]:

1. Everyone in the CCR [Central Control Room] gets into 'code red' mode;
2. The Shift Supervisor [Sgt] is in attendance;
3. The SVU [Special Victims Unit] team is despatched asap;
4. Depending on the site assessment - the officer/s would 'remove' the hapless victim into a "Distressed Women's Shelter";
5. A female officer will be specifically assigned for the case, as an IO [Investigating Officer] - she'd be trained for such activities;
6. Next day she'd be produced in court [if the attendance is possible] under the IO's escort;
7. She'd have access to 'Legal aid' - a Distressed Women's Specialist [Lawyer] would be assigned;
8. As per the IO's report, the family members would be arrested within 48 hrs.;
9. 'Conditions' would be imposed on them - basically not to approach the victim within 100 mtrs. - it's breach is dead serious;
10. The victim would be 'looked-after' thereon, in all its entirety/severity/conclusive.

Pls let her be bold - make that call... u can do so too - as a Citizen's Report !

God Bless her !!!

Qorax

[Mezo2009]

I'm sorry for you and your sister experience.

 I'm not expert to answer you in this matter hence I wil leave it to others to do so. However, it's really shocking to read this. Shame on him to deal his wife in that manner. It's not anything to manhood or courage to hit a woman no matter what she ever did. This is really horrible and I wish that people would eventually civilize to stop such behaviors.

I personally tend to remind people that if you misbehave or hit your wife, someone will misbehave and hit your daughter in the future. Would you ever tolerate this!

Hope your sister find a way out of this and May God bless.

Regards,

Mezo

[pearl2010]

so sorry to hear about your sister-in-laws situation..looks like she needs immediate help..

Below source was found in cic site

http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/resources/publications/welcome/wel-05e.asp#domestic

I am little worried right now as the last words i heard was when she told my husband (her brother) that she cannot bear the pain from the beating and wants some money to go back to india to her parents ..

Hi guys,

i have a urgent question for all of you who are in canada..

My sister-in-law got married to a guy in canada in 2009 and is living at his home in Toronto from last 1 year. They treadted her well for first 6-7 months but from what i heard today .. the guy has started beating her up (mainly due to his frustrations ).. she is very young around 23 and doesn't work so was keeping everything to herself .. until yesterday when she called me all crying ..

My first question is  - How can i report to the domestic violence dept of Toronto ..  if any such situation arises .. i am in US.

second question - She has her PR from last one year .. is she by anyways dependent on her husband?

third  - We have recently got our PR and are still waiting for our cards which are addressed to her house .. so can we somehow change our PR card adddress

please let me know soon .. we are desperately waiting for our PR cards so that we can go to Canada and help her out in someway