Do I marry a Moroccan?

[cinderellacats]

I recently met a very sweet and attractive Moroccan man on line, from Rabat. Within a few days he declared his love for me and by the next week, his invition to visit became a desire of marriage. He is 11 years my junior but seems very mature and sincere. We have spoken everyday on an average of about 2-5 hours each day for the past 3 weeks. He has served in the military for 10 years and handed in his letter of resignation to be free to marry me (I am Christian) and also able to leave the country. I am from Toronto, Canada. The first week was wonderful but as the news got out of my plans to travel to Rabat with my soon to be 3 year old son, on Dec 27/07, people starting waving warning flags at me, especially my family. "Don't go" "You will never be seen from again" "You are putting your son at risk" "He just wants a visa" "He is muslim, they view woman very differently" are some of the repeated cries I have received. I have quizzed this young handsome and apprently very seriously Moroccan up one side and down the other. He provided me with copies of his id, rpoved that he was in the military and went as far as saying that he would pay for the immigration and legal fees for his visa to Canada and well as show proof that he would be able to support himself. My head and heart spun, what should I do, I asked myself over and over. I wanted to believe everything and started the process to get my documents ready for marriage but something deep inside kept saying "hold on now, what is the rush?" "marriage is a life long committment, you really should step back abit and be sure as well as careful".
I received information from Foreign Affiars that premartial *censored word* is illegal in Morocco and if caught I would go to jail. That I would not be able to stay in an apartment that he said he would rent for my stay there because the property manager would ask for a marriage certificate and deny me access without one. She also said that I should stay with his family to show them that I am respectful and have the opportunity to observe how his family interacts with each other and how his father treats his mother. When I relayed all of this to him yesterday, he was very upset to say the least. He said all the Foreign Affairs told me was wrong. I kind of find that hard to believe. I have suggested that my visit be as a vacation only so that we can meet and if all goes well, I would return within 3 months to marry. Thinking that is not going to fly with my young handsome Moroccan.
Does anyone have any insight, experience or advise to lend me.

[Nancy]

The way you asked the question it is obvious that you are not truly in love with this man. I honestly would give your relationship with anyone on the internet alot longer before you even go there and think about getting married. All men from any country even Canada can be scammers. Yes there is many men from all over the world that are trying to get visa's. That is very important that you make a relationship and talk about everything. All men can do the sweet talk from any country even Canada. There is alot of good men out there and there is alot bad ones too. In Morrocco the men are very religious, very respectful and  do not ask for *censored word*ual advances. The reason I know this is because I am engaged to a moroccan and he is also younger than me. Age does not play a factor in our relationship nor does *censored word*, but religion has and wanting children and what his wishes are for the future. I would never ask anyone if I should marry a moroccan man. I know how much I love my fiancee and I know 100 percent that he also loves me. Because through the months we have spoken about many things and everything. I am so sure of our relationship him being Moroccan has nothing to do with our love and our up coming marriage next year. Our age difference does not bother me or him and we both respect each other wishes and religions. We do not care what others think of our relationship, what matter to us is our love and our happiness and our future.
I did not see any of this written when you ask if you should marry a moroccan. I would strongly suggest that you get to know this man for who he is as person and all his dreams and wishes. If he does ask or want the same as what you want then maybe he is after a visa. I would wait a life time to be with my fiancee. Because I truly love this man and I know he loves me.

[Nancy]

Hi,

You do not have an registered account because I cannot send you a private message. I personally would give this relationship more time. Him proving he does not want you for the visa or responsiblilty of you not having to pay his way really does not mean nothing. He could give you this and maybe you will not be responsilbile financial for him but it also could mean that could leave you as soon as he does get to Canada. Just please be cautious and give you love more time.

You can email me also under my account by search by my name.

I really do want this to be your dream and you hopes and your love of your life because I have found mine.

Try to be patient and if he really does love you he will wait for you as long as it does take. I have also drilled my fiancee so much that techniacally he should be long gone but he has waitied for my patients and now we are getting married.  How much younger is he? If you had private chate I could explain more but as everyone does read this. I prefer not to say to much.

The morroccan men are very respectfull and gentle and sweet men. I have met a few on online but really have never give them the time of day. Except for this one man. Whom I am now engageg too, the reason I talked with him is because there would be know way I would have a relationship with this man. Boy was I wrong. But as we talked, I did start falling in love with him. Because there was am age difference I thought many things. But because my fiancee was very patient and gave me the time to adjust to everything. That is why I am so madly in love with him.

Please give you relationship time and if he honestly does love you he will wait and be honest with him of your fears even the little fears, you will be surprized how much they are supportive towards you.

[Gdaymate]

I agree with Nancy, this relationship is moving very fast and although that can be incredibly romantic there are so many horror stories out there you should definitely proceed with caution, if not for your own sake then for your son's.  It is of particular concern that this man is pushing you to commit before you are comfortable with the idea and surely any man genuinely in love with a woman with a child would put the best interests of her child first?  And are you really OK with the idea of marrying a man that hasn't met your child (so that you can see how they interact over sufficient a period of time for you to be sure)?

I would also be extremely cautious and seek Canadian legal advice on this man's intent to waive your financial responsibilities as his sponsor as it's not that simple.  The contract of sponsorship is one between you and the Canadian government, not you and the applicant.  Even in the case of divorce the sponsor is still responsible for the applicant and I think you will find that ultimately the sponsor has to first pay back the government and then try to sue the applicant for a breach of contract (if the contract he is offering is in fact legal and binding in Canada).  You must think of the ramifications of this for yourself and your son.

In saying the above I only wish the best for you, if you can proceed in a fashion that makes you, your son and your family comfortable then great for you!

[Gdaymate]

Hi Cinderallacats

You're welcome for the info, I'm happy to be able to help.

Take your time, do what you need to do to be satisfied that you've protected yourself as much as you can and as Nancy says, if he's genuine, he'll be patient and wait for you.

Best of luck.

[Anatoly]

I recently met a very sweet and attractive Moroccan man on line, from Rabat. Within a few days he declared his love for me and by the next week, his invition to visit became a desire of marriage. He is 11 years my junior but seems very mature and sincere. We have spoken everyday on an average of about 2-5 hours each day for the past 3 weeks. He has served in the military for 10 years and handed in his letter of resignation to be free to marry me (I am Christian) and also able to leave the country. I am from Toronto, Canada. The first week was wonderful but as the news got out of my plans to travel to Rabat with my soon to be 3 year old son, on Dec 27/07, people starting waving warning flags at me, especially my family. "Don't go" "You will never be seen from again" "You are putting your son at risk" "He just wants a visa" "He is muslim, they view woman very differently" are some of the repeated cries I have received. I have quizzed this young handsome and apprently very seriously Moroccan up one side and down the other. He provided me with copies of his id, rpoved that he was in the military and went as far as saying that he would pay for the immigration and legal fees for his visa to Canada and well as show proof that he would be able to support himself. My head and heart spun, what should I do, I asked myself over and over. I wanted to believe everything and started the process to get my documents ready for marriage but something deep inside kept saying "hold on now, what is the rush?" "marriage is a life long committment, you really should step back abit and be sure as well as careful".
I received information from Foreign Affiars that premartial *censored word* is illegal in Morocco and if caught I would go to jail. That I would not be able to stay in an apartment that he said he would rent for my stay there because the property manager would ask for a marriage certificate and deny me access without one. She also said that I should stay with his family to show them that I am respectful and have the opportunity to observe how his family interacts with each other and how his father treats his mother. When I relayed all of this to him yesterday, he was very upset to say the least. He said all the Foreign Affairs told me was wrong. I kind of find that hard to believe. I have suggested that my visit be as a vacation only so that we can meet and if all goes well, I would return within 3 months to marry. Thinking that is not going to fly with my young handsome Moroccan.
Does anyone have any insight, experience or advise to lend me.

Hi, Cinderella,
I wish you be happy with your Morrocan man.

[indimer04]

Hey Cinderellacats,

I first off wanted to start by saying trust your own feelings, especially when you have a child.  Trust me i know, i have been through the same thing as you with my own family and daughter of three years old too.  My family and friends all said to me that i shouldn't go to Morocco first with my daughter not even meeting my husband before. I then received all the same negative messages from them too..but something in my heart told me to not listen to them and follow my dreams/love,having said that i am the most happiest woman on this earth right now.  My daughter and him really hit it off and i fell in love with him his family the people/culture customs and the whole bit.  I am back in Canada right now to finish off all the papers for him to come here to live with me for the next couple of years but then i may end up moving there to be with him.  Mind you i am only 29, self sufficient but finally happy in all areas, after having spent 7 years with my daughters father for nothing.  With my husband from Morocco now he has changed how i see life and has really swept both my daughter and myself off our feet.  Enough said that she asks me for him and all his family the whole time, more than i can say for her own father.  What i am trying to say is follow your gut feelings and when you do go, if you do you can then determine what you want to do with him after having meet him.  I knew i wanted to be with my husband immediately.  Trust me we just know.  Honestly, i don't really care what others think about me meeting him and getting married so quickly becuase i know we are both happy and most important my daughter likes him as a father. He gained her respect and love quickly too...and to me that was more important than my own happiness at first.  Its important that your son interacts with your special love right now in your presence and you can determine alot from just that.  Its different to have them via webcam and in person.  I know that i could see my husband as her dad just by the way he talked to her and the way she listened. 
As for staying in a hotel, trust me they wont let you unless you have the full marriage papers.  We had a hard time in Rabat getting a hotel even though we showed them that i was there just to get the papers from the Canadian Embassy.  It was a struggle but well worth every moment. We just enjoyed the whole ordeal and had fun at the same time....we did manage to get some site seeing here and there and have lots of pictures to prove it..lol ....Best wishes in what ever you decide to do..but most important make sure that the two of them, your son and possible husband get along well with one another before proceeding. Also just as a warning...if he is rushing you into something..be careful...take your time since you do have your son to worry about too...i knew with mine that we were meant to be..and if it was up to him he doesn't want to come to Canada..but only is for my sake since i want to stay here for at least another two more years until my daughter is just a little bit older.  Message me if you have any other questions or concerns

[DancingFeather]

True, some people are sincere but there are many more who have been taken in than people happy in their relationship.

If he is truly in love with her..let him prove it by sponsering HIMSELF..besides being married doesn't guarantee that the marriage will be accepted. She will also be putting 3 years in this man's hands and if he should leave her and go on welfare or make debts..she will be responsible to pay for it.

Nice to say follow your heart..but follow your head first..If the man loves her, if he is qualified then he just has to apply for a PR himself.

I have been in the same situation..being swept off my feet but when I said I wouldn't marry to sponsor..that he would have to do it himsellf and I offered to help him file but wouldn't marry him and that would be a proof that he does love me..well, guess what... he disappeared when he realized I was no fool.

I have met MANY men who have sworn their love to me and they ALL say I love you like you say..pass the salt..and don't mean it for beans.

A exemple was on Dr. Phil show and the girl was abused and beaten when she went to see him in his country and if it hadn't been for the parents to have Dr. Phil on this and it being televised..the girl probably would have never been heard of again.

So keep your heart on hold and your money in the bank..frozen..have the person apply for a pr on their own..because it doesn't get them a visa any faster being married..on the contrary it can take even longer because of all the proof you have to give etc etc.

I had a client who gave all the good proof and it was of her own race also..they refused him saying it wasn't a real marriage..so she went back and he applied for a pr on his own..and guess what...he was accepted and they are now in canada..so you see marriage doesn't guarantee anything and one thing that having the man or woman who says they love you..apply for a pr on their own and their own expense..is proof they love you.

There are too many frauds out there than there are sincere people and trust me I have been online long enough to have experienced it. Everyone thinks that marriage is the solution..the easy way in to canada..it isn't and in fact takes longer than applying for a pr.

If the person is qualified and has work experience that Canada would be happy to have and is a person that is qualified to contribute to Canada's economy then PR is the way.

Don't follow your heart as it blinds you to the truth..go with your head first and  make sure that person is true.

I get all these I love you from the african and arab countries all the time and I say..sure I will marry you but you have to sponsor yourself..they disappear pretty quickly.

Don't think because a reader who's husband is muslim and doesn't impose his religion on her is the way they all think.  No way, it isn't true. I have met woman who where threated to be killed if they didn't after they were married for a time when the spouse couldn't get the spouse to change to muslim and lucky she was strong enough and had a happy ending..he was put in jail for a long time and deported. I heard of muslims who have other *wives* and marry in their mosques where the canadian gouvernment doesn't know and their wives don't know either that the other wife exists. 

It's not for nothing that the Lord said to each to his own kind..and that parents prefer you marry into your own race and religion..so that to prevent all the abuse and divorces..doesn't mean it won't happen in your marriage that it will fail but you have a better chance it won't because you are not the same level.

Marriage is a serious step and a commitement..we just don't follow our hearts and go into it blindly because the heart doesn't reason..if it did, there wouldn't be so much adultry.

[indimer04]

cinderellacats,

I hope that you too find your match in Morocco.  You will see you will have a wonderful time. And only by going there you will be able to see the chemistry between your child and your "new friend". I hope you have a great trip and that by going there you will be able to make a choice to your liking. Don't worry about what others say,..just trust your instincts..we woman have a sixth sense for that kinds of things.  More so when we have children i guess it comes out more, at least that is what happened to me.  I wouldn't do anything differently than i already have and i have done like you...dated here and got no where...just 7 years older...but now i am a truly complete mother/wife of one and hopefully to be two when my husband arrives.

Indira

[DancingFeather]

I never said anything distasteful..I said exactly what happened and it was on live t.v., it can happen with any race..not just a particular one. We must not hide our heads in the sand and say it doesn't happen..it does every day.

It's a great idea u had about him putting money in an account under your name so then you would not be afraid for the next 3 years and it would be a true proof of love on his part and sincerety.

You should have though thought all about it before having him quit the army but its better to be sure than sorry afterwards as marriage is a life-time committement and a very serious step.

I hope you find your way.

[izzy]

hi raven.....that will be my????lol.......45 days no lies ok...i got to morroc on the 1st off agost and got married the 3th of sept.....FUNNNNNN...
LOL
IZZY

[ellegirl]

It is a true fact about muslims that it might be just another scam story.

I will share with you what I know about them.

In every religion or nation there are both good and bad people, but in muslim religion it is seen upside down.

Muslim men never respected a woman and treat them as an object.  Once you marry him, he will never care of washing a plate, vacuum the rooms, cook a dinner etc.

Muslim men think they are the main links in the family so you have to always make things work for him, not for you. 

He will keep ogling other women even after your marriage and looking for an affair on the side.

After he possibly sorts out his documents for permanent residence, he will be about to marry his morroccan fiancee and bring her to Canada, because Islam says a wife can never be christian nor other religion or, in the worst case scenario, he will convert you into islam and you will be supposed to wear those women's clothes that hides your body.

We dont want all of this!

Please allow more time to get to know him before making any lethal decision!
Good luck and god bless you!

[saeeda]

hi everyone,
like most of you, i to will marry a moroccan the summer. He is the most wonderful man, and his family is great,they accepted me from the first day they met me.But i need some help, i have looked at what i need for the marriage, the only problem is, is that i live in germany an will be going in april to live.I am not sure where to get my criminal record check from, should i get it from canada or from germany?,is there a time limit on how long from the time you get this paper to the time you get married?I am planning to stay in morocco until he gets his visa then we want to go to canada, will that be a problem?

As for this person who made negative remarks about Muslim men, all i can say is get a life, you have no idea what you are talking about.I will be converting to Islam when i go to morocco, not because he said that i should but because that is WHAT i want,i have spent the last few years reading all that i can over the religion and have decided that this is what i want,i have fasted at ramadan and have often been in the mosque.So before you go spouting your mouth off about something you have no knowledge about, shut it.

Your thoughts and comments would be welcome


saeeda

[rgvinson777]

I'll bet your head is swimming with all of the positive and negative advice.  I think that its good to get all of the imput that you can so I will offer something for you to consider also.

In your posting, you said that you are a christian and your prospective husband is a muslim.  This is something that CIC will look at very closely.  (As they should.)  Putting aside political correctness, there are serious differences between muslims and christians.  Two very different roads.  Please consider that a persons religion usually goes to their very core.  Being in love is of course wonderful and exciting and when we are in love, we tend to ignore important issues like religion and faith.  They just don't seem important.  However, if you are christian at the core of your soul, you may find yourself in a struggle and conflict in time to come. As a 55 year old man, I am discovering that my core beliefs mean more and more to me as I get older and take greater place in my life.  I am thankful that my wife and I are on the same spiritual path.  Otherwise, I would be a most lonely man.  The excitement of being "in love" fades from time to time as divorce rates prove.  Spiritual faith in the same God is the tie that binds.  Can you imagine converting to islam and letting your christianity go?  Can you imagine your prospective husband converting to christianity and letting islam go?  These are two very different faiths/roads.  The difference will become clear over time and you will find yourselves growing apart or abandoning your God.  Your immediate family loves you more than anyone...remember that!  (Just a caution!)

Best wishes!!

RGV

[marocbeauty]

First of all Yasmina/Isabelle the words that your using to defend muslim men are no different then the words that person is using to say bad about muslim men. Since I have been scammed I have been doing some research and the results show that morccan men that come to canada and the US after marriage. Well 68% of them are scammers and very good ones at that. You might have been married to your husband for a few years but you have not lived with him that long. My husband was to great to me and his family also I was treated like a Queen. But all that time they had other intentions. When he first came to canada I still was treated like a Queen untill that day he received his PR card. It all changed from there. I am lucky to be alive right now. I hope to god that it does not happen to you or anyone else on this forum but Statistics show that it happens to many times. I do know from a very good source from our government that things will be slowing down with Visa's being given out to moroccans because of the scamming that is being done. There are some genuine people but most are not. Including the women. I know love can make you dismiss alot of things but keep your eyes open for the signs dont do what I did an ignore them because of love.

Good luck
God Bless.

[rgvinson777]

I never said if I was christian or muslim.   

[marocbeauty]

Hi Raven

No BS about what is going on. The stats are correct. I said nothing about religion at all. I have been doing so much research on this. And did you also know that immigration reads all these posts>>>thats a fact also. I know also that 50 percent of marriages end any country. But morocco is becoming worse and worse for this. You watch and see the new laws that are going to be passed very soon. Since this happend to me I have been doing so much research with the help of my friend that is on the immigration board the same one that helped me get my husbands visa so fast. Its too late for me because it allready happend but its going to stop so many scammers. I am not saying that it is going to happen to anyone here I am just saying its a good chance and to keep your eyes open because its not a good feeling. It could happen anywhere it was just my experience and alot of other men and womens experience it happend by a moroccan. And its not a religion thing. Its a thing where people do not care about anyone but themselves and will hurt anyone to get what they want.

[kellychafik]

Ah yes Miss Yasmina you did tell me your life story. Do you want the emails to prove it. Remember at when you were at work chatting your little head off telling me your life story. Dont get me started. And none of this was my fault It was his plan from the start. It was him who had a few women setup to marry just a week apart. It was just stupid me that made it there first. SO DONT YOU EVER SAY IT WAS MY FAULT. And again I agreed with you all when you said that it could happen anywhere and it could. I am just giving my experience.