divorced canadian who wants to marry a divorced american...in canada.

[littlelady2388]

oh god where do i start??  okay people i need your help!  here's the low down.....i am a divorced canadian....who wants to marry a divorced american...we want to live here in canada...i live and work in canada and he works and at present time lives in michigan.  we want to marry and are getting so many different stories on what to do...my boyfriend has sold his house and closing day is middle of june.  he has been pretty much been living here with me in canada.  just recently he has been told that he is spending too much time in canada...over 50% of the time which is against the law.  he needs to stay more in his own country.  we have been planing on getting married this fall but now that this has occured we are wanting to speed things up a bit.  he gets hassled alot when he crosses and it would be nice to not have that happen every time he crosses and also we have established a way of living together now which we don't want to change...seeing as we plan on marrying anyways we figure we can get married sooner rather than later.  well not 100% sure on how to go about this.  i called our city hall and they informed me that since he is divorced in michigan that ontario does not recognize his divorce and we have to go through lawyers and such to "approve" us to get married.  the lawyer would have to write a letter of opinion that indicates that we have a relationship and that we should be able to get married...they send off that letter to i don't know who and they approve us to get married.  this all seems like a lot of hoopla to go through!  now has anyone gone threw a similar situation?  and also does it matter if we marry in michigan?  do u have to go through as many hoops as u do in canada?  can someone please shed some light on this situation for me?  please?  feeling so desparate. 

[awor]

We bypassed all that junk by just getting married in the US. I have 2 divorces, he has one, and while we originally were going to marry in Canada (then I ended up getting an exclusion order), I'm glad we did it here in the states just for that reason.

[scylla]

We went through this process with my husband. It was very easy. We had all of his divorce paperwork in hand. Found a lawyer and had his legal opinion letter within 5 business days. Sent everything off to the government for approval. Had that bit back in about two weeks (we asked them to rush it). Got our marriage license in one day and got married in a church in Toronto.

FYI - the lawyer does not write an opinion that you have a real relationship and should be allowed to get married. The lawyer is there to confirm that your husband's divorce should be recognized by Ontario.

Info on the entire process can be found on the Ontario (provincial government) web site:

http://www.ontario.ca/en/life_events/married/012202.html

[Iceyqueen]

Hubby and I had to go through this as well and it is a pain. I thought the whole thing was utterly ridiculous because my ex-husband was deceased so what did it matter if the divorce was legal or not. I even stated okay even if my divorce wasn't legal, it sure doesn't matter now since he's dead blah blah blah. They didn't want to listen to logic though so we had to get an attorney and have him write up the letter saying that my divorce was legal blah blah blah and that I am allowed to remarry in Canada. Then we sent that off and got the approval letter about two weeks later. Our attorney was $400 bucks an hour and he stated he was one of the cheaper ones  .  I would definitely get married in the states if there is any way possible. You won't have to get the letter from the attorney and you will shave off an extra few weeks of time spent waiting.

[scylla]

If you're in the Toronto area, try this guy:

http://www.rawnlaw.com/divorceopinion.htm

He was very fast and relatively cheap ($250 + taxes). We found him on the web and were very happy with his services.

[JimM]

Damn that's messed up. We got married in SK and all I needed was a certified copy of my divorce, I wonder why Ontario is so anal about it...

[scylla]

I don't think it's got anything to do with being anal. I think it's yet another cash grab. 

[littlelady2388]

We bypassed all that junk by just getting married in the US. I have 2 divorces, he has one, and while we originally were going to marry in Canada (then I ended up getting an exclusion order), I'm glad we did it here in the states just for that reason.

 

so by getting married in the u.s.a u can bypass all that jazz?  can it really be that easy?  i understand we need our original divorce papers...and apply for a marriage lic...but is that all???
btw...thanks all for your answers and help!

[littlelady2388]

 

so by getting married in the u.s.a u can bypass all that jazz?  can it really be that easy?  i understand we need our original divorce papers...and apply for a marriage lic...but is that all???
btw...thanks all for your answers and help!

and what do u mean u got an exclusion order? 

[awor]

 

so by getting married in the u.s.a u can bypass all that jazz?  can it really be that easy?  i understand we need our original divorce papers...and apply for a marriage lic...but is that all???
btw...thanks all for your answers and help!

It really is. My husband and I didn't even need to take our divorce papers with us to get the marriage license here in Oregon, just needed the date the divorce was final. Canada will recognize a marriage after divorce in the US (and I don't know how many other countries).

My exclusion order (one year, expires this Oct 27) was because I was an impatient dumba$$ and tried to get through to stay as a visitor, well before we got married, before PR was applied for, and without my husband with me. The border officers don't like being lied to 

[littlelady2388]

It really is. My husband and I didn't even need to take our divorce papers with us to get the marriage license here in Oregon, just needed the date the divorce was final. Canada will recognize a marriage after divorce in the US (and I don't know how many other countries).

My exclusion order (one year, expires this Oct 27) was because I was an impatient dumba$$ and tried to get through to stay as a visitor, well before we got married, before PR was applied for, and without my husband with me. The border officers don't like being lied to 

im probably gonna sound really stupid but i still dont understand why u got an exclusion order? 
it doesnt sound like a good thing and would like to prevent that happening to us.....

[awor]

Don't go through alone, unmarried, and tell the border guard you're only visiting when you plan on staying...at least if you do, don't post on facebook your real intentions because if you get pulled inside they will find every single thing you've ever posted about moving to Canada and look at you and say "just visiting eh?" ....yeah, I was a dumba$$.

It would have been fine if we'd already been married and he was with me doing the talking. Which is exactly what we're doing next time!

[littlelady2388]

Don't go through alone, unmarried, and tell the border guard you're only visiting when you plan on staying...at least if you do, don't post on facebook your real intentions because if you get pulled inside they will find every single thing you've ever posted about moving to Canada and look at you and say "just visiting eh?" ....yeah, I was a dumba$$.

It would have been fine if we'd already been married and he was with me doing the talking. Which is exactly what we're doing next time!

so im thinking....we go over to the states together as a couple...engaged...bring divorce papers etc...get married stateside...come back to canada together...do we tell them we are going over to the states to get married?  is that a good thing to tell them?  and we wont get in trouble for doing this?  i know tons of couples go off to vegas to get married with no troubles.  this is all so confussing for me! ahhh!  oh and what is a PR?

[awor]

You don't have to tell the border you're getting married. Just saying you're going to Vegas for a vacation and you'll be back in 10 days or whatever. Find out if there is a waiting period for marriage licenses, and how long it takes to get the real, certified copy of your marriage certificate, and stick around if you can to get that, so you can take it back with you when you go back to Canada. At the border, your husband needs to ask the guards if you can *visit* while PR is in process. Paying the fees before hand so you can prove your intent to apply is very helpful, as is taking any application paperwork you've already filled out. I haven't done this successfully yet (hoping in November) but I keep reading this is how one does it.