CHC, Islamabad Spouse Sponsorship Timeline 2009 -2010

[Khilafah5]

Brother from your perspective it was the right decision and thats what counts

May Allah take away ur hardship and bless u with happiness

Obviously this is just a small glimpse of our relationship. Many things I have not discussed. I understand what  your saying, love can mean different thing for different people. I dont believe in saying it all the time, I rather people show it instead of saying it. What if someone dont show it nor say it? And say that she does not want it, what you do then??

I know you think she was shy, but she was not a shy person in any way or form.

[Imtihaan]

I feel there is more to a marital relationship then "I LOVE YOU". As far as visit visa excitement goes, thats nothing to be so crazy about since in Pakistan you cant even go out with ur NIKKAHed spouse forget about touching him/her.

[iftikhar505]

I feel there is more to a marital relationship then "I LOVE YOU". As far as visit visa excitement goes, thats nothing to be so crazy about since in Pakistan you cant even go out with ur NIKKAHed spouse forget about touching him/her.

You may be very right about Pakistan custom but According to islam once the nikkah is done you are husband and wife.

[mrahmani]

Does anyone know how long it takes to do background checks after medicals are done? I contacted with my mp they said they are doing background/security checks, he also said that theres no doubt that they would be done by January which got me really mad, I dont believe them. So while iam in pakistan next week i hope my hubby recieves good news inshallah I will be staying there till he gets is visa. Do you know if they let you in chc isb to see whats going on with my case?

[mrahmani]

You may be very right about Pakistan custom but According to islam once the nikkah is done you are husband and wife.

Thats true when you do nikkah your husband and wife

[iftikhar505]

s_design bro, if you feel you made the right decision. Then you certainly did.

If "I love u" was not even said once. And no excitement for visit visa. Then there is some sort of a problem.

I understand how you might feel but sometimes these types of decisions are to be made for a better future.

At the end of the day, its your decision and no one can influence it.

I wish you all the best in the future. Inshallah there is a better person in the future for you.

My prayers are with you.

I agree with you 100% and I had sent him the similar message. People are people it doesn't matter Pakistan or Canada One could be shy and doesn't say very much but saying things which are heartful does not make the relation better but only adverse it. Another thing to mention is that if you feel the person may not be fit for you as being a life partner and you don't want to ruin your life with the pessimist. You have only one life to live, so enjoy it and live it to the fullest but under the teachings and principles of Islam.

[Imtihaan]

You may be very right about Pakistan custom but According to islam once the nikkah is done you are husband and wife.

Thats exactly what I am trying to say. NIKKAH is the wedding. But in Pakistan "Rukhsati" is wedding NOT nikkah. Which ticks me off. Parents, in pakistan, do not allow their daughters to act or even sound like a "wife" with their husbands. Then how can they accept the man on the other side of the world as her "Husband" until she actually feels that they belong to each other.

I apologize if I offend anyone. I am jus expressing my thoughts.

[iftikhar505]

Thats exactly what I am trying to say. NIKKAH is the wedding. But in Pakistan "Rukhsati" is wedding NOT nikkah. Which ticks me off. Parents, in pakistan, do not allow their daughters to act or even sound like a "wife" with their husbands. Then how can they accept the man on the other side of the world as her "Husband" until she actually feels that they belong to each other. I apologize if I offend anyone. I am jus expressing my thoughts.

Sorry I think I didn't catch what exactly you had written earlier. So we are on the same side. ( My nikkah was done on the phone and I was not able to meet her before the rukhsati and as a matter of fact I could not attend the mehdi function at my wife place as being a husband still not allowed to go there except for the rukhsati. Am I glad that at least I was allowed on the day of rukhsati) But my on the other hand I have no complain against her regarding the issue of loving each other.

[Imtihaan]

If u believe in living life to fullest and etc then I guess One should not get married (Come into NIKAH) unless u really know a person and both partners are compatible and bla bla. But come on. How can one be islamic and choose a partner based on compatibility and likes and dislikes. Arrange marriages are common in pakistan (somewhat) and usually cases like Sheraz occur throughtout the country. I dont know but one must see both sides of the picture before making any decisions and coming to any conclusions.

Islam has given women and men the right to agree or disagree to any proposal and being in Pakistan a guy should ask the girl or vice versa before making any committment. Its easy to tie a knot but very hard to open it. Communication is the key. I just pray that may ALLAH guide both spouses in providing the best islamic environment for their children and live a happy life. Becoz at the end of the day they only have eachother to comfort and support.

Wish u all a blessed and happy marital life. INSHAH ALLAH  

[s_design]

IS SHE STILL IN UR NIKKAH SHERAZ.

Yes, but I will initiate the process to end it in few days. I have already withdrawn the sponsorship application.

[s_design]

I agree with you qaMalik.

Brother S_Design ,

Check you Inbox if your final decision is not done verbally + officially.

God bless you !

Final decision is done verbally one week ago. I did not get any reply from my wife or her family for one week so I finally withdrew the sponsorship yesterday.

[s_design]

If you have done Istkhara ............. then wot r u worried abt ...............
You followed the book steps dude .........
You have to have to follow results
So just chill coz God wants it to happen that way .......... who is there to stop ........

I am not worried at all, in fact my heart is completely at peace right now.

[iftikhar505]

If u believe in living life to fullest and etc then I guess One should not get married (Come into NIKAH) unless u really know a person and both partners are compatible and bla bla. But come on. How can one be islamic and choose a partner based on compatibility and likes and dislikes. Arrange marriages are common in pakistan (somewhat) and usually cases like Sheraz occur throughtout the country. I dont know but one must see both sides of the picture before making any decisions and coming to any conclusions.Islam has given women and men the right to agree or disagree to any proposal and being in Pakistan a guy should ask the girl or vice versa before making any committment. Its easy to tie a knot but very hard to open it. Communication is the key. I just pray that may ALLAH guide both spouses in providing the best islamic environment for their children and live a happy life. Becoz at the end of the day they only have eachother to comfort and support. Wish u all a blessed and happy marital life. INSHAH ALLAH

Oh God you sounds like you would rather be happy without being married unless you know your partner well. That is not true all the time because people change too and some of them change after the marriage as well. now islam does not prevent for them to ask question to each other to check your priorities with each other and you don't have to drink and dance to do unislamic things to be happy or live your life to the fullest. It is also not to look for so much combatibility in each other but rather respect each other differences to live your life happily because Allah had created women different than men so I do respect those differences but at the same time still enjoys the company of each other.

[s_design]

I understand your feeling brother. As I remember you can do ISTIKHARA couple of times. Try to take another chance and see what comes up 2nd time.
When she came in your Nikkah ,it become your responsibility to take care of all matter with cool mind ,honesty and Justice.  Atleast give little bit more time to yourself and your wife.Allah app ki madad farmay "Ameen"

Remember ,You are also very close to get PPR and I think kafi maslay solve hoo jain gay os waqt.

Take Care of yourself

My mother did istikahra long time ago but she got a negative result but she dismissed it and stayed positive. I did the istikhara last week and after that my wife for the first time told me very clearly that she does not want a loving relationship and she blamed all the issues on my attitude. At that time this was enough for me to see as a sign from Allah and my decision for very easy at that time.

I understand the meaning the Nikkah and I always took care of her financially and any other way she wanted, yet she kept saying to me that it is only Nikkah and she is not really my wife yet.  Nikkah is can not be done by one side only.

[iftikhar505]

I am not worried at all, in fact my heart is completely at peace right now.

Even if you feel little down at the moment, don't worry TIME IS A GREAT HEALER.