american troubles crossing border to boyfriend. help!

So I'm an American living 3 hours from the border. I quit my job and planned on staying with my boyfriend in Canada for a month at a time and coming back to the US just for a weekend visit once a month. The CBP have been making this extremely difficult for us and the last time (oct 25, 2009) crossing into Canada I told her after 2 hrs of being interrogated that I planned on coming back to Canada on the 29th of November after I return on the 25th of November for thanksgiving. The lady basically laughed at my idea. So I'm assuming unless I obtain a job in the US I wont be able to spend anytime in Canada for awhile.

With my boyfriend and I living 6 hrs away and it being winter, we decided me moving back to Washington for awhile wouldn't be in our best interest. He has a full-time job and weekend visits would be nearly impossible with the weather.

I guess I'm basically asking how I can remain in Canada without having to go through all the stress of the border people. We are open to getting married. I'm 21 and I don't qualify for a work visa. After xmas I'd like to remain in Canada for 6 months with not so frequent visits to the US. If we did get married in Canada and lived in Canada what are the steps and fees?